She has lived with us for over two years. She loves to shop online and in stores every week. She has a bedroom, bathroom, and a large storage closet that we emptied for her. She filled up the storage closet, most of the bathroom, and most of the floor space in her bedroom with stuff. Last week she bought three large new items including a sewing machine and a printer. She has no space left, but can't stop collecting bargains. She even gives us stuff we do not need.
She refuses to believe there is anything wrong. She has osteoporosis and rheumatoid arthritis, and her room is full of tripping hazards. We do not want to throw her out. We hired an organizer who came in and helped for a few months, but mother-in-law decided she no longer needed that help.
And if she has always been a shopaholic, you really really have a problem. I have a friend who may very well be homeless soon, partly due to this problem.
If it were me, I'd take away the credit card. After all, it's her house that the MiL is causing a problem in. I just took away my husband's bank card because he is causing a problem in our joint account with his extra beer/cigarette purchases. Fortunately he knows he is wrong and gave it up willingly if unhappily.
Hoarding is a disease. It's like dementia, only it's a mental illness. You can't just talk them out of it.
Scott, I think you might have posted about this before, I could be wrong. Nevertheless, I think you have to take some firm steps to stop this. It is your home and if your MIL is ill and it shows up in her hoarding, then you should ask yourself if you can live with this or not. How does your wife feel about it. That's important information for us to understand.
I don't know how old your MIL is or what her other health issues may be, but more information would be helpful.
Cattails.
My mother is dead. She was an alcoholic and a hoarder. The problem with hoarding is the accusations of throwing things out and blaming you for throwing her things out. Those fights were tough.
My mother filled an entire house and then went out to the barn and started filling it up. She would take any furniture left on the side of the road. Anything on sale. Fabrics...OMG, we had so much fabric. I don't think she understood QVC or we'd probably have had more stuff. (I wish she hoarded antiques or valuable items but alas, it is all crap she hoarded.)
I have no advice for you except it was very important in our place to keep the horse section of the barn neat and uncluttered for the animals. And I was very clear about that. Every time something landed in that section, I'd toss it in the section she'd pretty much filled. I'd stuff that section to the rafters. So there was an invisible boundary, cross it and the stuff would be gone.
We just cleaned out one of the rooms in our house. Room is about 11 x 17 or smaller and we got 125 black plastic bags of stuff out of just ONE room. We finally got the whole house and basement cleaned out and now will start on the barn.
Hoarding is horrible. I did learn a lot from those TV shows but I have no advice to stop the person except just shoving all the stuff back in her room until she has no space. Or simply state things place "here" or "there" automatically get thrown away. I was pretty tough with my mother about the horse section and she did back away from stacking that area to the rafters with crap.
On a funny note, all the years my brother and I dealt with the hoarding...Shoot, if we needed anything, we'd "mine" the area in the barn for the item. Not there, then we'd buy it. It got to a point that my mother didn't really know what she had. But sometimes she'd surprise you and some forgotten trinket would be the object of her need-to-see. Always someone stole it or someone threw it out deliberately...but maybe it was something we "mined."
Good luck!
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