As part of a rather long dying process, my mother has recently slipped into a dementia- like state. She is extremely weak and can't stand or walk without risking a fall. We don't want her to spend what's left of her life in pain from a broken hip or something similar, but she doesn't understand that she can't just get up and walk. My dad is her caregiver, and all it takes is a moment of inattention and she's up trying to do something. She fell yesterday and bruised her hip badly but did not break it. She is beyond being capable of understanding the consequences of her actions and my dad does not yet want to put her into an assisted care facility. Anyone know of a way to handle this so that she can stay in the house with my dad while not risking a dangerous fall?
In a situation like this, you need to worry about dad. The stress and physical job of caregiving puts him at enormous risk of a heart attack or stroke. If they can afford Assisted Living, wouldn't it be a great thing for BOTH of them?
Also, you might ask her doctor to order a PT evaluation. They could give you suggestions on how to keep her safe.
I am *so* relieved to read further that you have already grasped that your mother cannot understand and remember why she must not get up and walk around unaided. It took me a long time to get to that point (my mother was a convincing excuse-maker) and it nearly drove me insane.
Our community team provided alarm pads to go on armchairs and her bed so that I would know if she got up; but I never found that satisfactory - what the alarms couldn't do, of course, was tell me *before* she got up so that I could get there in time, which is what we really needed. And if your mother can't remember not to get up, she won't, either, comply with using a call button, or not reliably anyway. So that only half helps.
There are good, solid, over-chair tables you can get which your mother shouldn't be able to push out of the way on her own. But I have to add that no matter how nicely and reasonably I suggested this solution, I got stern lectures about "Deprivation of Liberty" - in the UK the law says that if you want to do anything like this you have to make a court application and have it approved. No, really, it does. I hope the US has a bit more sense - check with your local older age social services.
While you're at it, you want an occupational therapist to go round the house with your father and recommend solutions. "There is more in heaven and on earth, Horatio, than is dreamed of in our philosophies…" and similarly OTs have professional tips and wrinkles you'd never have thought of.
Respite breaks for your father are also important - can they afford to hire a companion for, say, two or three hours at a time so that he can have a nap or get out for some fresh air?
Best of luck, please let us know how you get on.
I seem to have woken on the cynical side of bed this morning. Maybe a bit more shut eye will help.
My Dad thinks Mom will eventually start walking again and would be able to come home. Sadly that won't ever happen. I am on the same page as Babalou, who posted above, about having your Dad as your Mom caregiver. My parents are in their mid-90's and I would fully believe that if we placed Mom back home, she could outlive Dad.
Mom's gone now. I so regret that I learned the lesson too late.
I'm wondering though if anyone has anything like this? Any security systems that you're using that provide not only remote monitoring but visuals and alarms in the event someone gets up and/or falls?
Has anyone discussed this with security companies? Reminds me, I have a relative who's in that business and should be asking him what's available.
I actually like that idea because it would be a clue as to when someone was there. I've been thinking more and more about this for Dad in his home.
Thanks for the helpful information.
Thinking about it, there probably are systems like this in high security areas.