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I’ve seen the letter opener and Christmas ball-like items, bearing the charity’s name, on her table. She tells me a rep stops by her house with the items.
Mentioned this at my caregiver’s support group of 14. Got deer-in-the-headlight looks . . .
My father would get little "gifts" (bribes, in reality) as tokens either of past donations or inducements for future donations. Part of this practice is I think "guilting" the recipient into donating. And the "gifts" typically are either branded or related to the charity's alleged purpose.
No one has ever come in person to deliver "gifts." The thought of that raises my alert sense to high; this is totally inappropriate IMHO.
Does the same person come each time? Is any acknowledgment provided with the "gift"? And does your mother give her donations to this individual, or does she mail them? If she gives a check to the person, I'd contact her bank and ask who has endorsed the checks. This sounds like a scam.
I'm wondering though if your mother still receives requests through the mail, of documentation and acknowledgment of her donations and well as pleas for more donations.
As others have advised, I would call the charity ASAP and raise the issue; it wouldn't surprise me if they're unaware of this practice. And if they haven't sanctioned it, the next call should be to the police, to alert them. It may be that this scammer is scouting out houses to burglarize, or whatever.
Since your posted this in the Frauds & Scams section, I think you already are wondering the same thing.
I have a "NO SOLICITING" sign on my door, listing in part the kinds of solicitors who are unwelcome: That includes salespeople for windows, construction, pizzas, religion, lawn service, magazines and more. Two women once ignored that, brazenly pushing their cause.
So I monitored them; they rested for a while in a car parked across the street. I had an errand to run anyway, so I drove slowly past the car, jotted down the license plate number, then called the police on my cell phone and advised that there was a suspicious car that had been parked on the street for some time and asked that they check it out.
Thankfully I have never really had many solicitations, either at my previous house or this one....with one exception. The bible pushers. Religion is fine for those who want/need it, and I am fine with people who believe, but going door to door to push this is, at least for me, wrong. Mail invites if you need to draw in more people, but stay off my lawn!!! I realize the face-to-face might seem more "personable", but how many times/ways can I say NO!?!?!?!
Even after telling them I am not interested, they would still occasionally show up AND try multiple ways to keep me tied up. UGH. I keep meaning to put a sign at the end of my long driveway to discourage them. Somehow I don't think this will stop them.
One time it almost ended in disaster - I was on my way out and opened the garage door via opener in the car - as I prepared to back out, they are DAMN lucky I happened to glance back, as they were parked RIGHT behind me!
I could write a book on my battle with my mother and her giving money to “charity” - I’m know many were worthwhile causes but some were just nuts - the pig sanctuary for one - any many were upright bogus. Anyhooo -
By the time my mother passed away she had boxes and boxes of greeting cards, wrapping paper, little cheap blankets, dream catchers, note pads, Tibetan prayer flags - and much, much more. But over the three or so years that this was an issue - never, ever, did anyone show up to her apartment in person.
Id be pretty worried, if I were you. See if you can find a way to get your mom to set an appointment with this person - then make sure you’re there to have a little chat with them. Let them know you’ll involve the police if they don’t stop coming around.
Is she giving cash to the rep? I would be concerned that this person is not actually accepting donations for the charity but for themselves.
I would install a camera that allows you to monitor who comes to the door. You wouldn't even have to tell mom and since it's only at the door it doesn't invade her privacy.
I have never received any gifts other then mailing labels, so I can not imagine how that works.
Oh, if she is doing a long form return and the charity is sending her the paperwork to prove her tax deductible contributions, I would take a good look and ensure that these gifts are not lowering the amount of her charitable contributions. A well known tv and radio station offers free gifts for donating during their begathon and the free gifts come right off the top of your donation. How they get away with that fraud is beyond me. Worth checking out if she is using them as tax offsets.
I would be making some calls to ensure that she is not being taken advantage of by someone, whether it is an employee, rep or ?
MIL gets tons of these things through the mail, but never had anyone come in person. That does strike me as odd. Could she be mixed up or saying it was a visit, but it really was just something through the mail?
My dad has received gifts in the mail, often from charities he doesn’t support, but because they buy each other’s mailing lists. I’ve not heard of any personal rep visits. Your profile says your mom lives alone, she shouldn’t be opening the door to what’s essentially a stranger, to anyone that’s not well known to her. That’s dangerous to any elderly person living alone. I’m not elderly yet and I don’t do it! Teach mom to use a peephole or other means to verify who’s at the door, have a frank talk about the same stranger danger we teach our children, and try to convince her she doesn’t know whoever this might be
I still get junk from a charity I haven't supported for years (this kind of waste was one of the reasons they were struck off my list). The visits from a rep do seem odd though, is it possible she has is eligible to receive benefits from this charity and these visits are part of that?
If it is a well-known and reputable charity, I should give them a friendly call, reassure them first that you have no desire to influence your mother's charitable impulses so they need not fear her contributions will cease, but remind them that there are codes of conduct about their relationships with elderly and vulnerable donors and you feel they are being overly intrusive. Occasional acknowledgements and thanks are fine, quarterly newsletters are fine, but cultivating the kind of committed relationship they're after - her Christmas decorations??? Sticking their brand on her desk??? - is not on, and visits to her home from fundraisers are bang out of order. They should back off.
If the well-known charity is not reputable, or rather has a reputation for strong-arming, I should find your mother a better one that addresses roughly the same aims.
I wouldn't worry about it. Maybe they just appreciate her help. Not everything that we get for free is suspicious. As long as they stay outside her door and she doesn't invite them in. That might be considered weird. If they are a well known charity group you could contact them and make sure this is on the up and up.
Never heard of this. Stuff in the mail as small tokens of appreciation but never in person. I wouldn’t want to open the door to someone. Maybe I am being too careful. Just sounds a little strange. What do you think?
Obviously not safe to open door to a stranger, let alone let ‘em in. But she does. I’m told I worry too much and doesn’t want to hear my concerns about donating each month, saying it’s a good cause. When I continue the conversation, she gets aggravated, yelling or just shuts down - no talking about it.
Her casual approach to her own safety is maddening. Simple concepts that she understood and accepted in the past seem gone to the curb.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
No one has ever come in person to deliver "gifts." The thought of that raises my alert sense to high; this is totally inappropriate IMHO.
Does the same person come each time? Is any acknowledgment provided with the "gift"? And does your mother give her donations to this individual, or does she mail them? If she gives a check to the person, I'd contact her bank and ask who has endorsed the checks. This sounds like a scam.
I'm wondering though if your mother still receives requests through the mail, of documentation and acknowledgment of her donations and well as pleas for more donations.
As others have advised, I would call the charity ASAP and raise the issue; it wouldn't surprise me if they're unaware of this practice. And if they haven't sanctioned it, the next call should be to the police, to alert them. It may be that this scammer is scouting out houses to burglarize, or whatever.
Since your posted this in the Frauds & Scams section, I think you already are wondering the same thing.
I have a "NO SOLICITING" sign on my door, listing in part the kinds of solicitors who are unwelcome: That includes salespeople for windows, construction, pizzas, religion, lawn service, magazines and more. Two women once ignored that, brazenly pushing their cause.
So I monitored them; they rested for a while in a car parked across the street. I had an errand to run anyway, so I drove slowly past the car, jotted down the license plate number, then called the police on my cell phone and advised that there was a suspicious car that had been parked on the street for some time and asked that they check it out.
Even after telling them I am not interested, they would still occasionally show up AND try multiple ways to keep me tied up. UGH. I keep meaning to put a sign at the end of my long driveway to discourage them. Somehow I don't think this will stop them.
One time it almost ended in disaster - I was on my way out and opened the garage door via opener in the car - as I prepared to back out, they are DAMN lucky I happened to glance back, as they were parked RIGHT behind me!
By the time my mother passed away she had boxes and boxes of greeting cards, wrapping paper, little cheap blankets, dream catchers, note pads, Tibetan prayer flags - and much, much more. But over the three or so years that this was an issue - never, ever, did anyone show up to her apartment in person.
Id be pretty worried, if I were you. See if you can find a way to get your mom to set an appointment with this person - then make sure you’re there to have a little chat with them. Let them know you’ll involve the police if they don’t stop coming around.
I would install a camera that allows you to monitor who comes to the door. You wouldn't even have to tell mom and since it's only at the door it doesn't invade her privacy.
I have never received any gifts other then mailing labels, so I can not imagine how that works.
Oh, if she is doing a long form return and the charity is sending her the paperwork to prove her tax deductible contributions, I would take a good look and ensure that these gifts are not lowering the amount of her charitable contributions. A well known tv and radio station offers free gifts for donating during their begathon and the free gifts come right off the top of your donation. How they get away with that fraud is beyond me. Worth checking out if she is using them as tax offsets.
I would be making some calls to ensure that she is not being taken advantage of by someone, whether it is an employee, rep or ?
Does she enjoy the visits?
You definitely have a weird situation here.
My mother got a lot of this junk. But it was all mailed to her.
If the well-known charity is not reputable, or rather has a reputation for strong-arming, I should find your mother a better one that addresses roughly the same aims.
Her casual approach to her own safety is maddening. Simple concepts that she understood and accepted in the past seem gone to the curb.