Katsmihur Asked October 2019
Mom receives little ‘gifts’ from the well-known charity she donates to monthly. Ever hear of this?
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I’ve seen the letter opener and Christmas ball-like items, bearing the charity’s name, on her table. She tells me a rep stops by her house with the items.
Mentioned this at my caregiver’s support group of 14. Got deer-in-the-headlight looks . . .
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Her casual approach to her own safety is maddening. Simple concepts that she understood and accepted in the past seem gone to the curb.
If the well-known charity is not reputable, or rather has a reputation for strong-arming, I should find your mother a better one that addresses roughly the same aims.
My mother got a lot of this junk. But it was all mailed to her.
You definitely have a weird situation here.
I would install a camera that allows you to monitor who comes to the door. You wouldn't even have to tell mom and since it's only at the door it doesn't invade her privacy.
I have never received any gifts other then mailing labels, so I can not imagine how that works.
Oh, if she is doing a long form return and the charity is sending her the paperwork to prove her tax deductible contributions, I would take a good look and ensure that these gifts are not lowering the amount of her charitable contributions. A well known tv and radio station offers free gifts for donating during their begathon and the free gifts come right off the top of your donation. How they get away with that fraud is beyond me. Worth checking out if she is using them as tax offsets.
I would be making some calls to ensure that she is not being taken advantage of by someone, whether it is an employee, rep or ?
Does she enjoy the visits?
By the time my mother passed away she had boxes and boxes of greeting cards, wrapping paper, little cheap blankets, dream catchers, note pads, Tibetan prayer flags - and much, much more. But over the three or so years that this was an issue - never, ever, did anyone show up to her apartment in person.
Id be pretty worried, if I were you. See if you can find a way to get your mom to set an appointment with this person - then make sure you’re there to have a little chat with them. Let them know you’ll involve the police if they don’t stop coming around.
No one has ever come in person to deliver "gifts." The thought of that raises my alert sense to high; this is totally inappropriate IMHO.
Does the same person come each time? Is any acknowledgment provided with the "gift"? And does your mother give her donations to this individual, or does she mail them? If she gives a check to the person, I'd contact her bank and ask who has endorsed the checks. This sounds like a scam.
I'm wondering though if your mother still receives requests through the mail, of documentation and acknowledgment of her donations and well as pleas for more donations.
As others have advised, I would call the charity ASAP and raise the issue; it wouldn't surprise me if they're unaware of this practice. And if they haven't sanctioned it, the next call should be to the police, to alert them. It may be that this scammer is scouting out houses to burglarize, or whatever.
Since your posted this in the Frauds & Scams section, I think you already are wondering the same thing.
I have a "NO SOLICITING" sign on my door, listing in part the kinds of solicitors who are unwelcome: That includes salespeople for windows, construction, pizzas, religion, lawn service, magazines and more. Two women once ignored that, brazenly pushing their cause.
So I monitored them; they rested for a while in a car parked across the street. I had an errand to run anyway, so I drove slowly past the car, jotted down the license plate number, then called the police on my cell phone and advised that there was a suspicious car that had been parked on the street for some time and asked that they check it out.
Even after telling them I am not interested, they would still occasionally show up AND try multiple ways to keep me tied up. UGH. I keep meaning to put a sign at the end of my long driveway to discourage them. Somehow I don't think this will stop them.
One time it almost ended in disaster - I was on my way out and opened the garage door via opener in the car - as I prepared to back out, they are DAMN lucky I happened to glance back, as they were parked RIGHT behind me!
Just a thought.
Thanks for your answer - appreciate being validated and heard.
I also find it interesting that there are now more charities advertising and soliciting participants for the $19/monthly plan. If I had the time, I'd check to see if they all have the same Beltway Bandit fundraising company. It's just TOO coincidental that they are all asking for a $19/month contribution.
I had to call and cancel a discount club service that she had not ordered. I demanded a refund for the amount and threatened to contact BBB if I didn’t see the reimbursement. I got it. Looked up to see if they had complaints on them. There were tons of complaints. Guess who they scammed the most? Yep, the elderly. So sad. I suppose they are hoping it won’t be noticed on the credit card bill.
These scams are horrible.
The ‘gifts’ sound really strange. I wouldn’t trust that. That’s just too weird.
Yes, things sent in the mail such as calendars or return address labels after donating but not in person.
All these things are rackets. Ever notice if you sign up to win for something like winning a prize when attending a craft fair or the mall, then all of a sudden you get a ton of telephone solicitations. That’s why I don’t enter these ‘contest’ anymore.
But my friend entered a contest at Macy’s for a Mother’s Day prize to win a trip for four at Disney World and she won! She called it a miracle! She has two kids with autism and hadn’t been on a vacation in years. She’s a single mom. I was absolutely thrilled for her and her kids!
Many years ago I had an elderly neighbor woman open the door to anyone. She lived with her daughter and I told the daughter about it. Her daughter was at work all day. Once a guy asked if he could clean stains in the driveway. He rang my bell. I sent him away. He spoke to me through the door. He went next door to her house and yep, she flung open the door. It’s scary. I don’t trust people like that. He said he had chemicals in the backpack he was wearing and he would clean stains on the pavement. Who does that? That’s nuts! I kept thinking he could have a damn gun in his backpack.
It upset me when I looked out my window and saw my neighbor open her door and chat with him. She did send him away but there are odd people in this world.
A couple years after Dad died, Mom chose a garage-door repair company from the yellow pages because it offered a senior discount. Not only was the installation done improperly (door doesn’t open all the way as motor bangs into another object), we’re sure some of Dad’s tools were lifted. Of course, Husb and I learned about this from Mom AFTER the ‘installation’. He’s in the trades and could have completed the work himself for $ZERO. I feel ‘senior discounts’ could be an entree for elderly scams, too.
Give me some time and I'll see if I can find my old research. I found a few very good articles on allocation between the "sister" organizations.
I did get through on the 800 number this morning and they located Mom’s record of giving. Although they wouldn’t give details, the rep said that Mom had been visited by their Gift Planning rep. I said she DOES NOT have an IRA, stocks, or willed money. It could have been a visit to sign paperwork, the rep said.
With that, I asked for the regional office number and location - a bit over an hour drive from Mom. Called numerous times and there’s no answer or the ability to leave a message - and no identification of the number.
How about that?
And a "regional office" that doesn't answer its phone or have voice mail? Another bad sign.
This makes my blood boil!
I assume you searched on the number to back trace it? And got no hits?
It might be time to file a complaint with the BBB as well as the charity monitor I mentioned. If I can remember the names of the others, I'll post them for you.
The IRS has a list of fake charities, or those who aren't legitimate 501(c)(3)s, or who/which have been subject to disciplinary action. Several hits are similar, but there are a few different ones to check out. If this so-called charity is on the list, and is still soliciting, the IRS would probably like to know about it.
https://duckduckgo.com/?q=IRS+list+of+fake+charities&t=h_&ia=web
ETA: so they acknowledged she gave them money but wouldn't tell you the details? A good charity would not EVEN acknowledge that someone gave money. Another red flag.
What are your next plans?
In my case Hubby gives to two "charities" which are on the up and up. A third one is bogus and if I can get the mail before he does, I shred the letter. He is adamant, that he is going to give to them because they are doing good work. Since he is not giving too much money, I let it slide. Sort of picking my battles and right now, this is not the hill I want to die on.
10/30 PCP appointment, if Mom goes, hoping visit begins the path to a diagnosis.
The Gift Planning rep is looking for a larger donation for sure. The charity has confirmed Gift Planner’s visit to Mom.
I have no doubt rep came bearing said gifts.
HOWEVER legit they may/may not be, I would check out any people who personally come around bearing gifts. The best cons/scams/lies are based in truth. I want to ADD she had given, to thischarity over a period of years, felt much satisfaction & was pleased with her little "gifts"... she got a lot of pleasure out of this & her donation she chose to give helped others
My biggest concern is your mother (or anyone) opening the door to uninvited callers. We no longer live in a society where it is "safe" to trust that others are who they purport to be; there is no such thing anymore as a "safe neighborhood". They may operate under the guise of a charity, handyman, etc., but the real motive may be to "innocently" gather information about you, your family, your living circumstances, schedules, etc., in order to obtain data that could be used later to break into your home or for other nefarious purposes. It is risky for anyone, not just the elderly, to open the door to anyone they aren't familiar with. If the visitor has ill intent, opening the door makes their plan so much easier--and a locked screen door may not be enough to stop them. It is no longer unusual for crimes to be committed in broad daylight, and with the devices available nowadays, taser/stun guns, etc., many can effectively breach things like screens, glass, etc., and can disable you, rendering you helpless to protect yourself. Sadly, the drugs and meth plaguing our society are creating desperate and psychotic individuals who have mental disabilities, making it even more dangerous to have contact with those you don't know or haven't vetted. it may sound like I'm being overly cautious, but many others like myself no longer pass out candy to trick-or-treaters on Halloween because of this danger. It's doubly dangerous because it's no longer just little children participating in this ritual, and you have no idea who is under the costumes. This is also why many communities have begun sponsoring communal Halloween parties that the children and their parents can safely attend. "When in doubt, keep them out."
But a Rep at the door? That is truly frightening and not something I have heard of. Will be following this one.
I don’t like that this charity has a separate entity to target people including the vulnerable elderly. Apparently it’s not enough that she donates monthly, I guess.
I might also add I have my own "tradition" - being a cheapskate and using my limited funds to take care of myself!
Elder family members had endowed scholarships at a college. They did this with full mind and intension. The college would invite them to annual donor luncheons and a representative would come by every year with a poinsettia at Christmas.
However, as they aged and finances changed, the visits seemed to be misconstrued by the older people, that in order to continue getting these visits they needed to donate more. I am not so sure that wasn't the undercurrent of these visits.
I called the college and said they were welcome to continue to invite them to the luncheon and to bring flowers, but they had to stop asking for more money.