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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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Since you listed your question under the Alzheimer's and dementia category, I have a question. Are you expecting your mother to live alone in her own home, with dementia, for 20 hours a day? If so, that's a dangerous and unrealistic expectation, especially at 93 years old! My mother is 94 next month, with dementia, and lives in a Memory Care Assisted Living community. There is nothing I can give her to help her remember things.....even her Alzheimer's clock which tells her the day, date, time and whether it's day or night doesn't help because she doesnt remember to look at it. Same thing with the dry erase board on her wall to remind her.....it doesn't work. 24/7 caregivers is what works to remind her it's time to eat, bathe, take her meds 5x a day or whatever. She can usually use the phone, not always.....but frequently loses her phone book with numbers or punches the numbers in wrong and frustrates herself something fierce. As time goes on, things only get worse so they become literally incapable of learning new things or retaining info that's told to them. It's all part of a brain that's broken and no longer functioning properly.
Go to Alzheimers.org for more info and an 800 # for help and resources to guide you. They deal with both Alzheimer's and dementia. Good luck!
Thank you for your response. I only posted in this category because I thought I would find good resources for memory here. She has not been diagnosed with either Alzheimer’s nor dementia. She was fine until she had surgery requiring anesthesia in October. Still trying to figure out if she will return to her normal level of functioning or if this memory loss is more permanent. I will check out Alzheimer’s.org. Thank you.
There comes a time there really is not anything you can do to help them remember. They will even forget in the same minute of a reminder. Mom needs 24/7 care at this point. When last did you visit? It is time so you can see first hand what is going on. Not a couple of days, but a couple of weeks.
Read everything you can about dementia and you will soon realize she cannot and must not remain in her home as much as she is.
I last visited in November. I had also visited in September. She had surgery in October and post-anesthesia from the surgery we have really seen the memory loss. She hasn’t been diagnosed with dementia but maybe getting her diagnosed is the next step. Just hoping that she will return to her normal level of functioning before we have to take more serious steps.
I am a caretaker for my husband and I have done multi-tasking jobs for most of my working career so when I left the work force, I knew that with an inoperable brain tumor that was found in the late 70's or early 80's, I would have to keep my mind as sharp as possible. The seizures I had and take meds for daily, have caused some memory loss but, my dr. said he saw nothing during all the years of visits that would lead him to believe I was having memory problems. He told me to keep doing the crosswords and mind games I do every night. But, in December of 2018, I went in for a colonoscopy and had to have emergency surgery to repair a tear and also they found a mass in my colon. That required surgery as soon as the first one had began to heal. So, 2 days after Christmas, I was back in the hospital while most of my colon was removed and they found a 2nd mass in it that was cancer. The point I am making is that it was my 13th surgery during my lifetime and none had given me trouble before but, the last 2 have left me with anesthesia induced short term memory problems. I walk into the room for a specific item I need and have to stand and think what it was. I get tired and I start to stutter and can't get the words out straight. I know what I want to say but, I can't say it!! I thought it would get better and I still do the word games. 16 each night in the hopes I do not lapse further. I am supposed to have my knee replaced but, I am holding out until I can't take the pain any longer. I know what will happen if I am put under again. And there will be nobody to take care of my husband who has been diagnosed with dementia and onset alzheimers. He is on 4 medications for it and will not fill them or take them unless I remind him. If your relative is suffering from memory loss due to the anesthesia, I seriously doubt it will get better. I pray it does and wish they could find a reason for it messing with our minds.
If mom's cognitive function was fine before surgery then ask the surgeon's office or her primary care doctor what could be the cause and if you can expect her to revert back to cognitive level. The first priority for anyone living alone is their safety - impaired judgement increases risk of a fall etc.
You're talking about a person whose cognitive skills are currently so impaired that she can neither write nor use voice-activated electronic devices. She has caregivers with her for four hours each day, and presumably these people support her food, fluids, medication and personal care.
So what does your mother have to remember that is essential, and can't wait until - God willing - she recovers from her recent surgery?
Or to ask the same question from the other end, so to speak - what is she forgetting that is actually a problem?
Not to be a 'downer" here but if the surgery was in October chances are this is as good as it is gonna get. She needs more than 4 hours of supervision. If she decided to go for a walk at 9PM would she know how to get back home? If there was a fire in her home would she know to call 911, would she know how to get out of the house/would she know that she needs to get out of the house? It truly does not sound like your mom is safe by herself. Might be time to look into Assisted Living or Memory Care. (if her memory is improving AL would probably be alright but MC would be the best option) Your other option is someone there all day and if possible video cameras at night if the option of having someone there all night is not an option. Contact Local Area Agency on Aging they may have suggestions for you. I would also contact the doctor and make sure her doctor is aware of the fact that she has some anesthesia related cognition problems.
Your mother may or may not have dementia that was accelerated by the stress of surgery and anesthesia. You don’t need a doctor’s diagnosis to determine the danger of her situation. If your mother were to fall and no one was there, it could be hours before she was found. This situation is not going to get better, she needs far more help and supervision than four hours per day. Even if you lived an hour away and visited her every day it would not be sufficient to keep her safe. My recommendation is to move her to a facility near you as soon as possible and put her house up for sale. You will never regret doing the right thing for her. I believe any intervention/evaluation by a social worker or elder welfare check would find her situation to be neglectful and you could be held liable. When I placed my mother in an assisted living facility post surgery I was living 6 hours away. Many of her neighbors were snowbirds and weren’t aware of her medical situation nor that she was temporarily moved. One of them reported her for an elder welfare check. I was contacted asking where she was since the social worker was obligated by law to SEE my mother within 24 hours. Had I left her home alone I could have been convicted of neglect. Providing a 24 hour access to care living situation is not only imperative for your mother but a legal obligation for you. I know my response is frank, it is meant to be, not to offend but to hopefully open your eyes to the urgency of need. It is not easy but can and should be done immediately.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Go to Alzheimers.org for more info and an 800 # for help and resources to guide you. They deal with both Alzheimer's and dementia. Good luck!
Read everything you can about dementia and you will soon realize she cannot and must not remain in her home as much as she is.
If your relative is suffering from memory loss due to the anesthesia, I seriously doubt it will get better. I pray it does and wish they could find a reason for it messing with our minds.
You're talking about a person whose cognitive skills are currently so impaired that she can neither write nor use voice-activated electronic devices. She has caregivers with her for four hours each day, and presumably these people support her food, fluids, medication and personal care.
So what does your mother have to remember that is essential, and can't wait until - God willing - she recovers from her recent surgery?
Or to ask the same question from the other end, so to speak - what is she forgetting that is actually a problem?
She needs more than 4 hours of supervision.
If she decided to go for a walk at 9PM would she know how to get back home? If there was a fire in her home would she know to call 911, would she know how to get out of the house/would she know that she needs to get out of the house?
It truly does not sound like your mom is safe by herself.
Might be time to look into Assisted Living or Memory Care. (if her memory is improving AL would probably be alright but MC would be the best option)
Your other option is someone there all day and if possible video cameras at night if the option of having someone there all night is not an option.
Contact Local Area Agency on Aging they may have suggestions for you.
I would also contact the doctor and make sure her doctor is aware of the fact that she has some anesthesia related cognition problems.
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