My mom has been in an AL facility for two months she has undiagnosed dementia and can be confused about what day it is, and what time of day. The past few days she has been really confused about time and has missed meals in the dining room. Even though she has a clock that tells the time, date, and even the time of day, she is unable to process if it is 11:15, time for lunch. Yesterday, she had nothing to eat until I called her at 2:30. I told her that she needed to go to dinner (starts at 4:15). She said she would do that. I found out today that she went to the dining room way too early where they were having an activity and serving watermelon. She told me "dinner was bad, all they had was watermelon." So, she didn't even realize she was at an activity. She has food in her apartment but if she is not hungry, she won't eat. Some days are better than others and she manages to get to the dining room on time. I've already talked to one of the aides and they really aren't able to remind every resident that it is time to eat. So, now my plan is to call her at lunch time and at dinner time and tell her to eat. I would like to keep her in assisted living as long as she can stay (rather than a higher level of care) but am worried that she will end up in the hospital because of not eating. Has anyone had this problem??
Do they have levels of care in your AL? Mom's did, and included in her "level" was to take out and put in hearing aids, give meds and make sure she went to meals. You might want to talk to the director. Assisted living is what you are paying for and if they don't make sure she eats, what are they assisting with?
The only thing I can think of to help her remind herself is kind of a rube Goldberg operation: Get 3 alarm clocks and set one for breakfast, one for lunch and one for dinner. Put "go to breakfast", "go to lunch", and "go to dinner" tabs or stickers on each clock. What I don't know though is if shutting off each clock would actually be a reminder, or whether the clocks need to have the alarm buttons re-activated each day.
It's been years since I've relied on alarm clocks and I just don't remember whether they need to be reset after being turned off.
I think part of the issue is associating the time with the meal. You could put up signs, but that might not trigger the association. I'm trying to think of some kind of recording, or bell, or something that would activate like an alarm clock but offhand I'm not thinking of anything.
Are there any other residents your mother knows who might create a "buddy system" and come and get her for meals?
Dad does have his caregiver who spend the whole morning with him, thus she will make him breakfast and lunch [he lives in Independent Living]. But once she leaves, Dad is on his own, and he won't look in the refrigerator nor the cabinets for something to snack on. For my Dad, it was years of training by my late Mom for everyone to keep out of her kitchen. Mom did this because she was losing her eyesight and didn't want anyone to move anything.
I am also surprised that your Mom's assisted living isn't able to remind those residents who are clock challenged that it is time for dinner. That is something I will need to check for my Dad as I had signed him up for another level of "assisted living" care where he can continue to live in his apartment without needing to move to the Assisted Living side of the complex.
Based on everyone's comments, I will be talking with the head nurse this coming week about meal reminders. This is my first experience with AL and I'm not sure exactly what services they offer other than the ones we are already getting. I'm on that and thanks to everyone that has commented about that particular issue.
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