We have a resident who very often thinks that her husband/father (it fluctuates between the two) is dying or has just died. She is so often grieving for them as if they just died. Can anyone offer suggestions in dealing with this. For example, she will say "I wish there was some way I could call/visit the hospital and see if he's still there." If we say, "Sorry, he died a long time ago," I don't think that is terribly effective. Also, she sometimes gets her days and nights mixed up and will come downstairs at 9 p.m. thinking it is morning.
"I'm sure he is being well cared for and they will let you know if there is a problem. Let's go check the menu to see what they are having for lunch today"
"I'm sorry you are feeling so sad. Is there anything I can do to help you right now?"
You say resident so I assume you are a paid caregiver in a facility. Do they not train or require training in dealing with the elderly? If not, read everything you can on this forum, it will give you training on how to deal with issues from 1st hand experience.
It is conscientious and caring of you to look for better ideas on how to handle this lady's distress. There is a wide range of techniques for reassuring and distracting people with dementia, it's a question of finding what works best for the individual. For example, you could try giving her reasons why it isn't possible to call the hospital "now" but you are sure "he" will be in good hands - it's outside visiting hours, for example, or it's dinner time now, let's think about it again after supper/in the morning. Or you could ask questions about the person, such as what he was like or what she and he used to enjoy doing together, and lead her towards more general subjects from there.
You're right that just correcting her and telling her the person she's missing has been dead for ages is harsh and potentially frightening for her. Has your employer not offered training in this area?
Can someone post the name of that Youtuber again? Thanks.