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Are there local forums like this where I can get specific opinions on nursing homes? Most health care workers I talk to are not able to give specific advice. I guess they are worried about lawsuits, but it is very frustrating. I would like to connect with people who actually have relatives in various facilities.

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Just looked back at my earlier response and see the website I included isn't there. Guessing that isn't allowed. So here it is spread out. The medicare site has a 'compare reviews' section under the nursing home review area.
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One of the things that we did when we were looking at asst. living places, were to visit and talk to the FAMILIES that were visiting. The people who are visiting their relatives in a nursing home, will have plenty to say I bet.
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It allows you to see the medicare ratings as a starting point. When you narrow down your search, ask everyone you can connect you if they know anything about the particular place. Ask at your house of worship, workplace, neighbors, etc. Stand in the parking lot of the places on your short list and ask the visitors how they feel about the facility. In NJ, each facility has to make available their last evaluation report. Most places I visited had them in the front lobby. the examining agency's job is to find things that are not right. It's then up to you to weigh the 'findings'! e.g. a sign wasn't posted about the meals that are available vs. dirty handling of food or mis- delivery of medicines.
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