I'm trying to get my dad in a nursing home for the past year. Nursing home sent off Medicaid papers. Doctor filled out paperwork. But he's getting worse. I can't take care of him. I have 4 special needs kids. The doctor said nothing else can be done unless he ends up in hospital. My kids are afraid of him. It scares them. One goes for therapy because of it. What can I do?
In my own experience in another country, dealing with a friend with Alzheimer's who was great at bluff "all's well", the only solution was to book her into hospital for a general checkup (she did have some health issues) - and it was the hospital that decided she could no longer live alone. All systems kicked in afterwards and she is now in full-time residential care.
So try that tack - a full checkup, including mental health, residential over one weekend, then have a long discussion with hospital admin staff to explain why you no longer want him in your home with 4 terrified children in your care.
God bless you all.
If you take him to the ER and refuse to take him home, I don't answer none of the calls from the hospital, social services or even the nursing home. Don't answer no correspondence whatsoever, I sure wouldn't. As mentioned they may harass you and make it hard for you but you can program your phone to not have a ringtone for the hospital if you program this on a modern phone with programmable ringtones. You can have none and just have it silent and you can even turn off any voicemail or answering machine you may have. If someone comes to your doorstep, don't answer. Keep your doors and windows locked, your drapes shut and just don't acknowledge no one during this time. In fact, hunker down in your home and stay quiet. This should be easy if you're normally quiet.
As suggested take him to the ER with whatever you can think of and refuse to take him home and leave. They won't dump him on your doorstep. They will however give you a hard time and may get quite agressive so be prepared for that.
The facility should also be keeping TK up to date on any communications between them and Medicaid, and if TK asks for information about the application, it should be provided immediately. If she has the application number, she should be able pull up the application and see what the status is.
When they clear him for release, tell the social worker that there isn't a safe place for him to return home. No doubt in the 3 unquestioned days Medicare pays for, they will have noted his behavior. Tell the social worker he is Medicaid pending. And even if they try to pressure or guilt you, stand firm. He does not have a safe place to return home. The hospital social worker WILL expedite the paperwork and find a nursing home bed for your dad.
Ask for the nursing home of your choice, but realize they may not be able to place him there. BarbBrooklyn's advise was excellent; start researching other facilities you would find acceptable, at least on a temporary basis. Have a few acceptable options to give the social worker, but also realize that he may have to go to your 2nd or 3rd choice until he can be transferred where you want him. But he will be somewhere he can be cared for, and he will be safe while your family recovers. Good luck to you.
You need to be extremely proactive about this, even to daily phone calls.
Best of luck,
Margaret