She knows her name, the year, sharp as a tack on politics, knows where she is but has no memory of turning the water or stove on or what she did yesterday. She believes there is nothing wrong with her, despite $200,000 in water damage to the people below.
I am caring for my mother Mom, who is 95 years old with age-related decline, alzheimer's / dementia, broken hip, hearing loss, heart disease, incontinence, mobility problems, osteoporosis, and urinary tract infection.
About Me
Twenty year caregiver to mother with dementia, NPD and BPD with chronic illness.
Why, I wonder, has your mother not been evicted for causing all this chaos??? I'm shocked she's still allowed to live in a rental, unless she owns it.
I take it she lives alone, at 95, with all these health issues going on? Which is horribly unsafe as evidenced by the damage she's caused by her short term memory loss. Short term memory is what keeps us functional and understanding the processes involved in daily tasks. Your mother is obviously not functional, despite knowing her name and being aware of politics!!! She needs 24/7 care either in home or in managed care.
Mom needs a full medical and cognitive work up to determine whether she's incompetent. If she is, and you have POA, you can place her against her will in a safe Memory Care Assisted Living facility or Skilled Nursing care, depending on finances.
Good luck.
Agnosias are a group of conditions where damage to your brain interferes with how it processes or understands information coming in from your senses. Your senses, such as vision or hearing, work fine, but your brain can’t process the information. That can disrupt your ability to understand or navigate the world around you.
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Because of dementia, she's unaware of the connection between her behavior and her diagnosis. You won't be able to convince her.
Looks like she can't manage her daily tasks well enough to go on living alone. Agnosia has been mentioned, and I suspect loss of executive function. She isn't well and shouldn't live in her home now. She needs facility care.
You might be tempted to move someone in with her to keep an eye on her. The problem is that no eye is open 24/7. To police her at home wouldn't be possible because you don't know what she could do next. Whatever she does next time is likely to be a completely different thing, like locking herself in the bathroom and flushing rolls of toilet paper.
I hope you can find a good place where she and everyone around her will be safe.
I agree with others that she is unaware of her condition and is a danger to herself and others. She needs more oversight on a full-time basis. Take her in for her free annual Medicare wellness check where they will give her a test and thus a diagnosis. Or, have a social worker come to assess her for in-home services. If your Mom doesn't have an assigned PoA it may be too late (or she may not want to do it) in which case she would need a legal guardian assigned through the courts. But first she needs an actual diagnosis.
I do not know if this is a condo or if this is her home or apartment. But this will soon become an eviction/insurance/lawsuit issue.
APS should be called.
This is quite clearly a safety issue now.
They were also both up to date on politics and news. They could both carry on a conversation and have people think they were fine .
But they were not safe alone in the kitchen . They couldn’t manage a checkbook , pay bills , or realize they needed a shower or to change their depends or clothes often enough ., or other simply daily things . They thought nothing was wrong with them .
Your mother can not live alone. And she’s putting her neighbors at risk .She needs 24/7 supervision in a facility .
No one I’ve spoken to has indicated that there’s any legal basis for a declaration of incompetence based on the neurological testing she’s had. It’s mind-boggling.
So many of us have had parents pass a silly memory test but WE know they can’t live alone .
Families hands are further tied when LO refuses to get further testing .
The legal system has not kept up with modern medical issues in more ways than one.
I’m sorry I don’t have an answer , but I wish you luck.
Also, this has made me think about my Mom's situation, too. The difference is she's 85 and lives in a house. But I still worry about the forgetfulness issue.
Unfortunately we have to wait for the inevitable to happen and that's life threatening risk.
Im sorry this is all happening with your Mom.
Take care.
A short screening tests may or may not uncover short term memory loss. Of course that takes concent from your Mother to allow her Doctor to do. More thorough neuro testing would uncover much more detail regarding memory, processing, judgement etc. Needs a referral to approproate professional & again, your Mother's consent.
The big issue here is safety.
Is Mom still safe to live alone?
Regardless of tests, Mom's Doctor could discuss recent accidents. To ask her to be open to considering changes. eg Getting in home help or meals delivered, moving into accomodarion with more supervision/assistance.
Mom can say no. If there is denial or lack of insight, expect no.
Leaves you in a tough spot!
"The issue is THE LEGAL SYSTEM and their criteria for incompetence. I’m well aware that she has dementia".
Ask Mom's Doctor what is required.
Do you have a springing POA that will be activated? If so, seek legal advice to what will activate it.
A dx of dementia by 1 Doctor?
Two Doctors signatures?
Where I live, as everyone is assumed to have decision making powers unless proved otherwise, it sometimes takes an application for Legal Guardianship. The court can insist on a neuro-psych exam to investigate capacity for decision making. Then the court rules on a Legal Guardian being required or not.