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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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My mom is on her last days of life, but I do believe in miracles. She has COPD and she had COVID. COVID did a number on her lungs. I notice everything is a yes with a nod and she stares up at the ceiling. Is this common?
She isn't looking at angels o speaking to God. She is probably only half conscious and not looking at anything. You have to accept reality no matter how cruel and unjust it appears. This frank attitude will help you overcome the bereavement that will follow her departure. Fantasies and denial will only make your suffering last longer.
You can’t say what she is looking at either, tchamp. Are near death experiences the mere response of a dying brain, or portends into a world to come? Or both?
Sorry about the harsh response from TChamp. That was uncalled for.
I would say your mother is semi-conscious and not really focusing on anything. It's a gradual downward slope toward death, and she's likely just slowly drawing the shades down, so to speak.
When my 98 year old uncle John was lying on his deathbed in a coma, he suddenly sat bolt upright one day, opened his eyes wide, a smile split his face wide as he looked up at the ceiling and yelled MAMA! There was a look of pure joy on his face as he spoke that word, my cousin told me. He passed a few hours later, with a smile on his face.
What your mother is 'seeing' when she stares up at the ceiling nobody can say except her, and she's not speaking about it. It's quite common for someone at end of life to see and visit with their departed loved ones who come to visit with them before they depart. There are many, many books written by hospice nurses on this very subject. My favorite is Peaceful Passages: A Hospice Nurse's Stories of Dying by Janet Wehr
Read a brief summary of that book here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B014K603QA/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1
Your mother likely has one foot here and one on the other side, as my mother's hospice nurse explained to me when my mother was transitioning in February. That is quite common during the end of life process, and probably why she is staring up at the ceiling not saying much; she's preparing to leave this world for the next.
Wishing you peace during this difficult time. I know how hard it is to lose a parent and what it feels like to go through this process. Sending you a hug and a prayer as well.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I would say your mother is semi-conscious and not really focusing on anything. It's a gradual downward slope toward death, and she's likely just slowly drawing the shades down, so to speak.
What your mother is 'seeing' when she stares up at the ceiling nobody can say except her, and she's not speaking about it. It's quite common for someone at end of life to see and visit with their departed loved ones who come to visit with them before they depart. There are many, many books written by hospice nurses on this very subject. My favorite is Peaceful Passages: A Hospice Nurse's Stories of Dying by Janet Wehr
Read a brief summary of that book here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B014K603QA/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1
Your mother likely has one foot here and one on the other side, as my mother's hospice nurse explained to me when my mother was transitioning in February. That is quite common during the end of life process, and probably why she is staring up at the ceiling not saying much; she's preparing to leave this world for the next.
Wishing you peace during this difficult time. I know how hard it is to lose a parent and what it feels like to go through this process. Sending you a hug and a prayer as well.