Is believing someone has stolen something a sign of memory issues?
How have people handled their LO's believing someone has taken something?
What was your experience? Did the problem get better? Go away? Was there something really missing or misplaced.
I feel very sad that my LO believes this, because I just to hug them and say no has taken anything and say we'll find it, because I see how much stress it causes, thinking something has been stolen, but this seem to upset them more.
Is it common issue in old age?
Does anyone know what's at play when something like this happens? I don't mean scientifically, just psychologically. Why does it happen?
What if it was happening long before reaching old age?
I've decided I don't want to get old, can I stop it? This last comment is just humoring myself, but I'm not looking forward to stuff happening to me as I age.
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"What if it was happening long before reaching old age?" Then this is a separate problem, like a personality disorder or mental illness.
"I've decided I don't want to get old, can I stop it? This last comment is just humoring myself, but I'm not looking forward to stuff happening to me as I age."
My 104-yr old Aunt has all her mind. It doesn't happen to everyone. Her sister had dementia for 12+ years and lived to be almost 101. Don't worry about whether you will inherit it, either. For certain dementias, even if your family carries the gene it still has to be passed on to you.
Don't worry about stuff that hasn't happened. Knowlege and then reasonable preparation is as much as one can do.
Everyone's looking for that formula, they what did they eat? what did they do differently? I'm sure most of that is a happy coincidence, although I do believe good quality food can do wonders and good quality water, not this plastic bottle stuff.. In Italy they drink therma water from underground, many Italian live long and healthy lives.
Although my mother does not have dementia at age 98, she has been doing this for a long time. She has normal forgetfulness for a person her age.
Now my stepmother, she loses everything but doesn't care, she is mid-stage FTD, someone actually stole her late husband's electric cart and she didn't give it a second thought!
I don’t think anyone can convince someone of something that they don’t want to believe when dementia is involved. So, what can you do other than reassure them as much as you can. Or try to redirect the conversation to something else.
Hey, if you figure out how not to age and not be troubled by getting older, let us in on it! 😊
I'm working on it Need... :)
She’s in mid-seventies. Everyone thinks it’s dementia but can’t do anything until there’s a crisis.
Best to have her assessed by Geriatric Specialist. Be sure to tell GS your observations and experiences with her.
I'm not saying this is the case for you, just in my situation:
My siblings didn't do much to help my mom including the daughters, for over 20 year after my dad passed away; only one sister has a stable marriage for over 40 years, the other have had no excuse, but the potential of being accused of stealing, has just give them a new excuse to not want to help.
My mom threw away so much and would blame me and my sister for displacing the lost items. I am afraid this does not get better.
It was hard for you Rose, and I'm sorry. Your dignity is still intact, none of it was your fault, plus as hard as things must have been, I'm glad you got on with things, things meaning your life. Yeah, what an awful condition dementia is, not only can it create problems for an individual, it causes tensions with other people, especially family. If some family member are like mine, that have had historical issues, they were just looking for new reasons to pick on others that are doing the right thing.
I hope your mom is in nice comfortable surroundings and you are able to visit her.
You do not automatically get any of these just because you get older.
I believe AI will find cures for the cognitive illnesses and probably much more, as it will be billions of time smarter than the smartest drug maker people, at Merck, Pfizer, and so on.
I guess it would be interesting to see what the stats are for people that live in sunny countries and get a lot of sun and hence Vitamin D
Then, she said her hair clips went missing. I found them in the bathroom, and showed them to her. I said, “here they are”. She said that’s not the kind I like. That kind of sums up this type of ongoing behavior pattern.
Let’s all make use of our good body/mind health now.
I think this is very true. When people have heart value issues with a decrease in oxygenated blood flow, I can see how this would affect the brain and other areas of the body, of course.
Like other people have said, they lose things or hide things and automatically assume someone stole them. My sister gives mom her pills every week and when mom can’t find them she accuses her of stealing them. Why would you steal pills when you are the one distributing them? If she wanted to steal them she could do it without giving them to mom in the first place. It doesn’t even make any sense.
Also, giving or throwing away stuff and then saying it has been stolen also is common. One time mom got on this kick of cleaning up and she threw away all of her photo albums. She didn’t just throw them away but also tore up and destroyed a lot of them. It was very sad when we went to visit and found them all destroyed in the trash. We fished out what we could and kept them for ourselves. We never told her we found them or that we have what was left. She always talks about how someone took them all. We don’t even bother to correct her other than to ask who could have come to take the photos and why anyone would bother to take those.
It’s crazy stuff sometimes: bandaids, phone charger, pens, scissors, prescription glasses, remote control, Oreo cookies, whatever. Her default is “Someone got it.” We know no one did because there is a cam at the house and no one came. Sometimes we find it, sometimes we don’t. She lost $150 cash which she NEEDED to have and claims we never gave it to her. It has never turned up. She probably threw it away or hid it. We don’t give her cash anymore.
When she was away for a while we cleaned up her place and found a stash of vitamins and pills in her dresser BEHIND the drawers. These are pills she had been looking for a long time and claims someone stole.
She bought tires for my sister’s car, which was very nice of her but when she saw her bank statement she flipped out. She said she never did that. She did. I was there. I heard her say she was going to several times. I don’t accept any gifts from her and I advise my siblings not to either but some of them still don’t listen. They will eventually be accused of stealing from her. She thinks we have all stolen money from her. She even told the police that.
It is tiresome and hurtful. We are limiting contact with her because no one wants to be accused all of the time. It doesn’t get better. I would like to think we can try to be more aware of it as we get older and at least less prone to hurtful accusations but who knows?
I really like your user name on the forum; it sums up everything about being a caregiver perfectly. I admire your new found control over not getting into arguments. I can imagine that at first it was a battle of wills, but I think you're right to have changed how you handle things now. We need this for our own sanity.
It's good you can be with your mom and enjoying moments. I wish you plenty more.
I'll definitely embrace aging process, it's aches and pains, and other "stuff" I probably won't be embracing :) I know what you mean though, you mean "live now", enjoy it all, as the years pass on.
I suppose, not wanting the aches, pains, and other stuff I've been reading on this forum about toilet control, mobility, and disability issues, I guess millions around the world that are over a certain age are thinking about the same thing. All people are different, but I think one thing people fear a lot is seeing it out alone.
The old ladies all left in a huff and mom thought the matter was finished. It wasn't. One of the other ladies DID call the sheriff, who came to the AL and knocked on my mother's door with the ED in tow. She had a meltdown and sputtered that nothing was missing from her apartment and proceeded to slam the door and call ME.
I told her nothing was stolen, who'd want ASHES of a dead man in a necklace for petesake? I told her she'd misplaced it, which she vehemently denied., accusing me of "always being against her" which was one of her favorite lines. So why, then, mother, did you SLAM THE DOOR in the sheriff's face if you were robbed? Snicker.
The next day I showed up at her apartment. I pulled out her giant jewelry box from the closet, opened the lid, and guess what was staring me in the face? The "stolen" silver heart necklace with dad's cremains in it. Right where she PUT it. Sigh.
One of many stories about many "thefts" over the years of dealing with dementia.
Btw, my mother was a sun worshipper (who was lucky not to have gotten melanoma) who ate healthy foods her whole life, walked a ton, maintained a healthy weight, never smoked, and still died of advanced dementia.
Your gift to your mom was a lovely one, keeping your dad close to your mom's heart.
This particular situation seemed to escalate, and more people got involved. I know caregivers or family members hearing the repeated "someone's stolen something" can become draining.
Thank you for sharing your experience.
It just goes to show that a good diet is not always the key to prevention or sunshine (vitamin D) exposure. It would be interesting if someone knew if dementia and Alzheimer's cases have increased since the advent of cell phones and cell towers around 1983. My guess is there's the increase it proportional to the increase in mobile radiation, that's tower & the phone.
Even if elderly are not using cell phone's much, it doesn't prevent health concerns of cell tower radiation.
How do you approach this kind of situation, when the person is fully aware that you are taking them to a see someone, because that can cause trouble too. For example, they say things like "what give you the right to say this about me?" or simple "No not going, there's nothing wrong" the person trying to do something about it it can also end up being disliked.
For instance if some said that about me, my instant reaction would be, how dare you think something like this, go take a running jump off a cliff. I pretty much have the same reaction.
Thank you for your reply.
Has any one done any research on how long you have to eat certain foods that are good for health? There's the age old one about eating carrots being good for eyes and vision, is it true? how long before someone says I got 20/20 vision again. Same for garlic & ginger being good for circulation how much do you have to each before noticing health benefits.
I mean how long before people see benefits. Are vitamins a scam for instance? because the first bottle will not change anything, it's only through maybe 20 bottles later and plenty of $$$$, if they're good people start noticing a difference.
Thank you.
I think that's a wonderful reply (your latest reply) and suggestions. Thank you!
ps. Anyone heard from @bundleofjoy, tried PM days ago. bundle, was really active on the jokes discussion and other posts.
Now after my responding this way over and over, she doesn't ask me anymore. She just tells me that she can't find something. And I say, I'll find it.