Hello All!
I am a personal support worker currently working at a nursing home. There is a resident whom I have became very close with and he often confides to me that he wants to leave the NH and he would love to take a trip elsewhere. He says he could hire me as his fulltime caregiver and I have no idea what to do in order to make that happen and something inside me is telling me I should do it and give this man his last chance to live his life the way he wants to instead of wasting his life away alone in his room.
Right now my Resident is completely cognitive. We have full on conversations, he can walk a few steps, stand, everything a cognitive person can do except his ADLs which I can gladly take care of. He does not need any other nursing care other than meds. This man came to the nursing home WAY too early.
My resident has a rare progressive brain disease that basically kills brain cells. It is different in every case and progression seems very slow as he needs LIMITED assistance right now.
I am reaching out to you all to help me get this man out of this nursing home and to live his life to the fullest as I am 100% willing to do anything I can. Also did I mention that his wife is resistant to him leaving the NH and going on the trip? PLEASE HELP! And give me your input on whether or not I should do be his 24/7 live in caregiver.
Also I am in my early 20s if that makes any difference.
Thank you all soo soo much!!! :)
If you have genuine concerns that your resident's rights are not being respected, report your concerns to your line manager.
If you can't do that, or it doesn't go anywhere, go to your state's care standards regulator and find out how to report potential abuse.
If you, as a support worker in a nursing home, take any steps to assist this man to leave the nursing home, or to undermine his wife's legitimate decisions made in his best interests, you will be in more trouble than can be easily explained.
I suspect you also have a lot to learn about dementia.
Look. By all means continue to have enjoyable conversations with your resident about the road trips he'd like to make, and encourage him to talk about his memories of travel, and then other aspects of his life too. That is fine, that is good work, that is enriching his quality of life.
But taking at face value what somebody with a progressive brain disease says about what he wants to do and acting on it would be so unbelievably irresponsible I can't think what you're thinking.
have you considered that what you experience with him is just show timing? I think it’s reasonable to assume you aren’t with him 24/7. Even if he is still at a mild stage. Do you understand what is to come? Are you trained to deal with violent outbursts? You will be his sole caretaker. Are you aware that your physical well being may be put at risk? Not to mention the emotional toll this will take on you. Like I said, I think your heart is in the right place but this is a terrible idea. Not to mention the ethical and moral aspects.....
IF you and his wife were working together to help him fulfil his bucket list I would say go for it, but this really just sounds like a wonderful fantasy to me... aside from his physical limitations you have no idea if he (and his wife) could even afford it.
You provide care for a resident in a nursing home setting. How long has he been your client? Is he your only client? Which shift do you work? How long is your shift? How many others care for him in a 24 hour period? Are you the worker responsible for your client's bathing, shaving, dressing for the day? Can your client toilet by himself to include transfers? Does your client feed himself? Does he eat in the dining room?
I ask these questions because it sounds as if your resident has a big old case of cabin fever! His physical abilities have declined ahead of his mind. He is fantasizing a larger more exciting life! And really, who hasn't had the same thoughts one time or another? A dream trip with a personal aide & no financial worries: the line forms behind me!!!
Seriously, your client needs more stimulation every day! You say he is completely cognizant. He needs to be out of his room & interacting with others as soon as he is up & ready for the day. Even if he is just saying good morning to the housekeeping staff, get him out of his room & interacting with others! He eats in the dining room, he attends activities & even suggests activities that interest him!
Work with the rest of the staff to find jobs he can do: pass around craft supplies, read to another resident who has vision issues, pour juice, pass around snacks, play cards with another lonely guy.
As for experiencing a new location, have the activity director see if his wife is open to getting him a virtual reality device & travel videos.
One of the saddest things about neurodegenerative diseases is the unpredictability of progression. Your client's cognition has remained while his physical abilities have declined. Tonight, tomorrow, next month, his cognitive status may decline incredibly quickly, without warning & without returning.
Put your care & concerns to work right now on quality of life measures for your client that can be implemented in real time & real life. Don't waste his precious cognitive time pursuing a pie in the sky project.
I would love to have her as a support worker as she obvious has the ability to show compassion and caring for another individual. Too many care workers are burned out because they have too many patients and too much record keeping in addition to meeting family and patient needs.
Yes she could possibly get in trouble for helping him live his life free of the human cage. His family who obviously don't care enough for him to keep him part of their circle. He had become part of our disposable society. If he had enough money to move and hire a personal giver then I would suggest they get on with it but make sure they hire a lawyer who is well versed in such situations, get good advice and keep him on retainer until the feathers settle.
As for you Vegas lady, get more advice and compassion before you attack a person for trying to do something properly.