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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Find one in your own area by looking online, our new yellow pages. Good luck. And do know that this is self-limiting. At some point, being both 89 and having brain cancer does limit ones ability to manipulate their world at all. Do consider care placement with Hospice when things become too much to handle in a home setting. Which I can only imagine happened yesterday.
Your profile says that you're the "lone caregiver" for your mother, and that you're not only suffering from mental issues but physical ones as well because of that. That in itself should tell you that something has to change NOW or you will be in the statistics of the caregiver dying before the one they're caring for. PLEASE don't let that happen! You are important in this equation as well. Your mother needs to be placed in the appropriate facility, where she will receive the 24/7 care she needs and you can get back to just being her child. Caregiving is the hardest job any of us will ever do and when you add someone that's mentally ill and manipulative on top of that, well that is really more than anyone should have to deal with on their own. So please start the process today to get your mother placed and look into bringing hospice on board as well. Then you can start the process of dealing with the damage that's been done with a good therapist or counselor. I'm wishing you the very best in getting your life back on track and healing old wounds.
Does she require hands on caregiving ? If so are you providing that or does Mom have help coming ? How about meals etc , laundry cleaning ? More info would help.
Perhaps it would be best for both of you if your mother was in a facility . You could visit and leave when needed .
I'd ask my PCP for recommendations. Ask friends also.
Be prepared for it to take a few visits to establish the trust you must have with a psych doc.
And be prepared for the fact that your mother seems to be at her EOL. No amount of therapy can completely prepare you for the passing of your mom.
I was not on great terms with my mom when she died last year. My psych doc really helped me to come to terms with it and not feel guilty 'after the fact'.
If you are caring for mom now--you already have some issues, right? It's good you are not in denial about how tough this could be.
Since you want a psychiatrist for yourself to help you cope with the caring for your mother, maybe a therapist might be a better match, unless you are thinking you have a mental illness?
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
That in itself should tell you that something has to change NOW or you will be in the statistics of the caregiver dying before the one they're caring for. PLEASE don't let that happen! You are important in this equation as well.
Your mother needs to be placed in the appropriate facility, where she will receive the 24/7 care she needs and you can get back to just being her child.
Caregiving is the hardest job any of us will ever do and when you add someone that's mentally ill and manipulative on top of that, well that is really more than anyone should have to deal with on their own.
So please start the process today to get your mother placed and look into bringing hospice on board as well.
Then you can start the process of dealing with the damage that's been done with a good therapist or counselor.
I'm wishing you the very best in getting your life back on track and healing old wounds.
Does she require hands on caregiving ? If so are you providing that or does Mom have help coming ? How about meals etc , laundry cleaning ?
More info would help.
Perhaps it would be best for both of you if your mother was in a facility . You could visit and leave when needed .
Be prepared for it to take a few visits to establish the trust you must have with a psych doc.
And be prepared for the fact that your mother seems to be at her EOL. No amount of therapy can completely prepare you for the passing of your mom.
I was not on great terms with my mom when she died last year. My psych doc really helped me to come to terms with it and not feel guilty 'after the fact'.
If you are caring for mom now--you already have some issues, right? It's good you are not in denial about how tough this could be.
((Hugs))