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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
When your husband becomes violent, call 911 and have him transported to the ER for a psych eval.
Refuse to take him back home. It is an "unsafe discharge". Repeat these words as often and as loudly as you have to over the phone. Do NOT show up at the hospital.
Have you contacted a certified Eldercare attorney to help you apply for Long Term Care Medicaid for him? Medicaid has no wish to impoverish you, the Community Spouse.
"Out of control" means you are in danger. If your husband is diagnosed with dementia, or undiagnosed but in need of a workup call an ambulance. It is crucial that you say your husband is "out of control" and that you are "in danger". When they come he will likely act up a lot, which will make it even more likely that he will get taken to the ER. Once there ask to speak with Social Services and tell them that your husband cannot return home. See an elder law attorney to help you to apply for medicaid or whatever else you can, to get division of property going. Your home will remain out of the equation and they will fix it so that some of his finances go to his care, with medicaid supplementation, and that you have monies for your own living. I am so sorry, but you badly need professional help. Start with Social Workers and tell them the facts, then move on to the Elder Law Attorney if needed. You don't tell us a lot about your situation, but this is a place to start.
My dear sweet uncle with dementia started wandering, so his wife installed deadbolts that she had the keys to. Put them on a ribbon around her neck.
He was determined to "wander" out on the highway. He beat her black and blue trying to get the keys. This apparently went on for months when one of their "kids" showed up for a surprise visit when on a business trip.
His dad went to memory care the next week. Sadly, my aunt passed away a few months later, we have no doubt due in part to the stress she endured during the months he was violent, her stress at keeping this secret from the family and the "shame" of having to place him.
Ironically, he lived for an additional two years after her death; he positively thrived in MC.
your story so sad barb … but we often hear caregivers die earlier than the one cared for. Not all dementia is gentle … lots aggressive violent behaviour with non stop stress … physical and mental for caregiver… we need to realize when it’s all too much for us to handle… despite the guilt … care places vary … and try find best you can ,visit often , and be a loving family advocate for the one you love … instead of the mean bitter exhausted caregiver with no love left to give.
Yes. Go see an elder care attorney immediately to ask about Medicaid and what to do to apply for it and/or how to get your husband placed in Skilled Nursing and not leave you penniless in the process. BEFORE he sends YOU to the hospital or, God forbid, kills you.
Dementia can turn a wonderful person into a violent one in a New York minute. Don't think otherwise. Read what BarbBrooklyn had to say and take her words to heart. Seriously.
Then make an appointment with an elder care attorney right away. And call 911 if he as much as raises a hand to you in the meantime.
No clue. The state but do not spend you’re money on him please do not it will be the hugest mistake you could make. You’re money will run out. It’s not you’re problem that sounds harsh I no but how about it’s not fair to you. It is an emotional roller coaster
Medicaid allows for splitting off assets. My GF's father needed care her mother became the Community Spouse. They had 60k in assets. It was split 30k for him, 30k for her. His 30k was spent down and Medicaid applied for. She remained in the home and had a car. She received enough of their monthly income, SS and pension, to live on.
You need to see an elder lawyer as said. They are versed in Medicaid.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Refuse to take him back home. It is an "unsafe discharge". Repeat these words as often and as loudly as you have to over the phone. Do NOT show up at the hospital.
Have you contacted a certified Eldercare attorney to help you apply for Long Term Care Medicaid for him? Medicaid has no wish to impoverish you, the Community Spouse.
I am so sorry, but you badly need professional help. Start with Social Workers and tell them the facts, then move on to the Elder Law Attorney if needed. You don't tell us a lot about your situation, but this is a place to start.
You need an attorney and all your pertinent paperwork, if you have not already made out a trust/will.
In our case, if I were to place DH in a facility, I would not be destitute from paying for his care. But it needs to be set up in such a way.
Refuse to take him home. Then stick to your guns.
My dear sweet uncle with dementia started wandering, so his wife installed deadbolts that she had the keys to. Put them on a ribbon around her neck.
He was determined to "wander" out on the highway. He beat her black and blue trying to get the keys. This apparently went on for months when one of their "kids" showed up for a surprise visit when on a business trip.
His dad went to memory care the next week. Sadly, my aunt passed away a few months later, we have no doubt due in part to the stress she endured during the months he was violent, her stress at keeping this secret from the family and the "shame" of having to place him.
Ironically, he lived for an additional two years after her death; he positively thrived in MC.
Please...get help from 911 soon.
we need to realize when it’s all too much for us to handle… despite the guilt … care places vary … and try find best you can ,visit often , and be a loving family advocate for the one you love … instead of the mean bitter exhausted caregiver with no love left to give.
Dementia can turn a wonderful person into a violent one in a New York minute. Don't think otherwise. Read what BarbBrooklyn had to say and take her words to heart. Seriously.
Then make an appointment with an elder care attorney right away. And call 911 if he as much as raises a hand to you in the meantime.
Good luck
You need to see an elder lawyer as said. They are versed in Medicaid.