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Like said on here many times, you don't ask him to take a shower or if he's taken a shower, you TELL him that it's now time to take a shower and lead him to the bathroom. And if need be help him get in and shower him.
Now I know that this is your father so you may not be comfortable doing that, so perhaps it's best to hire an aide to come twice a week to shower him, as the elderly don't need to shower every day, and plus they often listen to strangers better than they do to family members.
You can also use the extra large body wipes and the waterless shampoo and conditioner caps for the in-between times if needed.
Also make sure that you have a shower chair, grab bars, and a slip proof mat before he gets in so that he feels safe.
Good luck!
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This is such a common problem! I was fortunate not to have this issue with my mother on a regular basis.

My mom was afraid of falling. She was also exhausted most of the time. See if you can determine what the underlying reason is for not wanting to shower.

I also found that my mother listened to others better than when I told her to do something. Do you have help? Maybe, hire a caregiver to help with bathing.

Best wishes to you.
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Same problem I've had. I think hiring help is better, as others have stated, they oftentimes do not listen to family members. I've gotten tough, I've asked, I've told, and no dice. She (my aunt) lets the caregiver help her with bathing, but not me.
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My mother did not like water beading down on her face, and would refuse showers or try to get out early. So we shifted to baths, she was far more welcoming to the idea. We still come every other day in her care facility to give her a bath.

You have to be careful, and supervisor them, my mother is also on the young side. That is how we combated the shower issue though, your milage may vary.

If that does nor work have you tried a sponge bath?
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Get a certified Nurse assistant thru Senior care they get a plastic bench chair in the shower , slide the person across and shower with a hand held water head .
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If it were me, I would hire someone.
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This is one of the most challenging tasks of the caregiver. Mostly because your loved ones are afraid of water. Right now, I can only give my husband a sponge bath once a week. But I wash his private parts daily when he is on the commode. That’s the best I can do.
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They have a fear of falling down also - my Dad fell in the tub and was stuck . That’s an issue also so physical therapy may help
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NeedHelpWithMom Jul 2023
NHWM here,

Absolutely! My mom had an awful fear of falling in the shower. She had Parkinson’s disease and dementia. Her fear was justified.

She would often say that her brain sent the signal to more but due to her neurological issues with Parkinson’s disease that her body couldn’t follow the signals. I am quite sure that this was frustrating and also frightening to her.
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You may want to confer with the patient 's PCP who can refer you to some home care services to consider coming into the home to assist the pt with ADL'S ( such as showers). Or depending on how far along the dementia is, you may want to have the Dr. refer for a hospice assessment for possible hospice home services. Both " home care" or " hospice" ( in home care) can provide CNA'S skilled and qualified to assist ( as well as other medical professionals such a as RN, SW, etc) to help relieve the burdens of care.
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