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I think the key word here is “secretive”. Have you asked and been denied information, or is she not offering up information as you expect she would?From your wording, I’m suspecting a communication gap, and maybe someone (you) feeling out of touch with Mom’s day to day life, that your sister seems to be handling on her own? A POA is not required to share any financials unless there is suspected fraud, in which case a lawyer will need to be involved. Depending on your sibling relationship, it would be easiest and cheaper (legally) to ask her what questions you are curious about, and see how she responds. You may be building a fence that doesn’t need to be there. I hope that helps. It can get tricky! Good luck.
With so little information here, I would say the way to 'deal with' is by asking her and sharing what you want to know. If she resists, ask her what this is about. If you are concerned with theft or your sibling taking advantage of your mother, you might need to hire an attorney.
A lot depends, too, on the mental health / brain functioning of your mother. Does she have dementia? Can she make her own decisions?
What is your relationship with your mother - and your sister? It starts with communication and take it from there.
The POA is a Fiduciary duty. The POA acts as directed by the appointing principal (your mother). If your mother is have dementia then the POA acts in her behalf and keeps records of every penny into and out of accounts as well as files about bill paying.
THE POA DOES NOT SHARE INFORMATION WITH YOU OR ANYONE ELSE ABOUT THESE FILES AND PERSONAL FINANCES OF YOUR MOTHER'S.
If you have reason to suspect fraud you will: 1. Call in APS and ask them to speak with the POA and examine records. 2. If the APS tells you they cannot act in this manner you will go to your own attorney and ask that the POA records be examined by the court. You will PAY for this. The court will examine the records the POA is keeping and decide whether the duties are being carried out as expected. 3. YOU will not be informed by the judge. The JUDGE only will see the records. Unless there IS fraud you will be in no way notified.
Again, the POA should not/must not/care not share PRIVATE personal information with you unless allowed by a competent principal (your mom). Do research POA and Privacy online for more information.
I think you need to talk to a lawyer and see whatvthe lawsvin your State are in reference to POAs. States maybe changing their laws because people have been frauded by POAs. My one pet peeve is that avperson can be made POA without knowing about it. I think a person should sign saying they except the responsibility. I had POA for my Mom, now my nephew, and in neither did I need to sign.
Are they refusing to answer questions, or do they just not offer up information? I am mom's guardian. I am in control of decisions re: care and finances. My brothers don't reach out with questions. I offer info,even through text re: changes, falls, etc. Perhaps a conversation with your sibling about your needs and desires moving forward.
I am sorry, but unless the POA is involved with abuse or criminal activity, you don't need to be concerned. I am my mom's Guardian and I don't want anyone interfering. Please don't let that deter you from spending quality time with your mom.
Your sibling is NOT at liberty to discuss her Principal's (your Mom) finances with you. The POA operates for and by the direction of the principal (your mom). If your mom is no longer mentally capable of acting on her own your sibling as POA acts to the best of her ability to handle things as she believes best benefit and are in the interest of your mother.
It is not your business to ask for nor to discuss your mother's private financial information with the POA and it is not the POA ability/right/duty to discuss mom's finances with you.
Now, if you believe that there is fraud or embezzlement or other financial abuse do take your evidence first to APS and ask them to investigate and ask for the records (which they will NOT share with you). APS will either reassure you, or they will open a case and ask a judge to investigate the financial records. THAT is your right and duty if you have evidence of fraud.
I have twice been a POA for family members with dementia and I emphatically disagree with AlvaDeerr's advice when a trust is involved. By law, at least in my state, the POA is legally obligated to provide in writing an annual accounting of all financial decisions to all beneficiaries. This includes income, expenses, investment strategies, real estate, etc. Failure to do so can result in prosecution by the district attorney's office.
If you are doing a lot , you can refuse to do more until they both start sharing, and if your not you can try to help out more if nothing changes for get about it, let it be there problem, if this is what POA wants let her have it. They are doing you a favor in the long run, by making it not your problem
"A financial power of attorney is generally not obligated to share financial information with the agent's family unless the power of attorney document explicitly states otherwise; the agent's primary responsibility is to act in the best interest of the principal, not necessarily to inform their own family members about the principal's financial details."
The POA isn’t obligated to provide information. Is it possible the POA, due to living closest is providing most of the help to mom causing her to become a bit resentful or defensive? Perhaps working with her and offering help in place of trying to get information would help
If she is POA she does not have to give you info of personal, financial status and if she is POA for Health matters she does not have to give you a report on that either. (If you are listed on mom's HIPAA forms you can get information from the doctors office if they want to give it to you.) If you suspect that there is abuse of any kind you can report it and there will be an investigation.
If mom is not cognizant and you suspect abuse you could see an attorney and seek Guardianship. This can be an expensive process and it will destroy any relationship you have with your sibling.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
A lot depends, too, on the mental health / brain functioning of your mother.
Does she have dementia?
Can she make her own decisions?
What is your relationship with your mother - and your sister?
It starts with communication and take it from there.
Gena / Touch Matters
THE POA DOES NOT SHARE INFORMATION WITH YOU OR ANYONE ELSE ABOUT THESE FILES AND PERSONAL FINANCES OF YOUR MOTHER'S.
If you have reason to suspect fraud you will:
1. Call in APS and ask them to speak with the POA and examine records.
2. If the APS tells you they cannot act in this manner you will go to your own attorney and ask that the POA records be examined by the court. You will PAY for this. The court will examine the records the POA is keeping and decide whether the duties are being carried out as expected.
3. YOU will not be informed by the judge. The JUDGE only will see the records. Unless there IS fraud you will be in no way notified.
Again, the POA should not/must not/care not share PRIVATE personal information with you unless allowed by a competent principal (your mom).
Do research POA and Privacy online for more information.
Some siblings let the power go to their head and act in their own interests rather than mom’s which is what they should be doing
I am my mom's Guardian and I don't want anyone interfering.
Please don't let that deter you from spending quality time with your mom.
The POA operates for and by the direction of the principal (your mom).
If your mom is no longer mentally capable of acting on her own your sibling as POA acts to the best of her ability to handle things as she believes best benefit and are in the interest of your mother.
It is not your business to ask for nor to discuss your mother's private financial information with the POA and it is not the POA ability/right/duty to discuss mom's finances with you.
Now, if you believe that there is fraud or embezzlement or other financial abuse do take your evidence first to APS and ask them to investigate and ask for the records (which they will NOT share with you). APS will either reassure you, or they will open a case and ask a judge to investigate the financial records. THAT is your right and duty if you have evidence of fraud.
If you suspect that there is abuse of any kind you can report it and there will be an investigation.
If mom is not cognizant and you suspect abuse you could see an attorney and seek Guardianship. This can be an expensive process and it will destroy any relationship you have with your sibling.