My 89 year old mother had a fall four months back and had to undergo a hipbone surgery. Although a physiotherapist comes home every single day and gives are the excercises, she is refusing to stand up. She sits up only for 30 mts a day. She is attended to by two nurses 24 hours a day. Toilet needs, wash, eating, drinking fluids, everything takes place in bed. On top of it, she refuses to use her hand and wants to be fed like a baby, that too only by her children.
Otherwise all her physical parameters like BP, sugar, blood picture are near perfect. She eats well and mentally razor sharp. She has not developed any bed sores, so far because of the good nursing care.
Now our problem - I am 67 and working still, my brother is 70 and both of us find it extremely taxing to be around our mother on a 24x7 basis. My mother is very demanding, and insensitive to our stress. She has no outside interests and does not even watch TV.
We are unable to outsource any of our activities to other family members, as they are busy and also not acceptable to my mother.
Although we feel very guilty, we some times look forward to a relief either in the form of her coming back to normal life, or her passing away. After all we also ar ein our sunset years.
My question - how long one can last in bed taking normal food at a ripe old age?
If we know the answer, we can think of some solutions.
Any suggestions?
I think you need a better solution, myself, but it is up to you.
She could live this way for years or die tomorrow. There's no way to tell. But you can't live this way for years. Please look into care options where you visit but are not on call 24/7. You've given a great deal and will continue to be part of her care. But you deserve a life, as well.
Carol