My mom is 84, she has emphazema and a pacemaker. Over the past 10 months has been admitted to hospital 3 times. Twice we were told they didn't think she would make it because she wanted to die. She is tired and ready to pass on. On Tuesday she was admitted again due to chest pains and battling to breathe, she has pneumonia in one lung. She hasn't eaten anything since being admitted. I think she is starving herself as the last time she was in hospital a lady in her ward did exactly that, refused to eat and died. My mom said if ever she is admitted again she will do just that. She says she isn't hungry. What I would like to know is how long can someone survive without eating? Will she be in pain? She has 2 DNRs and will refuse any invasive life saving treatment.
Your mother can have hospice care at home, in theory at least, although do listen to advice about it because there may be good reasons why it isn't the best option for her. Talk to the hospital teams and find out what's possible. I'm so sorry you're going through this - do you have anyone to support you?
Talk to her doctors and the discharge planning team about getting her discharged home with hospice care. ((((Hugs))))))
There is no cost for Hospice, as Medicare will cover everything involved, if your Mom is moved back home. But please note Hospice isn't at the house 24 hours per day, someone will need to be Mom's caregiver during that time frame.
First Aid for the next 48 hours - arrange to call your sister at set times, say nine this evening, nine tomorrow morning and then after the dust has settled from tomorrow's party. If you've fixed the times in advance it will be easier to throw yourself into the "fun" (aaarggh! A houseful of excited 5-7 year olds? Rather you than me!) knowing that your sister knows that you're not forgetting them.
And you'd better agree with her, too, what she should do should anything develop in the meantime. Do you want her to let you know immediately or hold off?
Do you have back up organisers just in case?
I don't underestimate how important it is for your little girl to have fun in spite of the crisis. You must feel torn. Hugs.