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I’m not sure what level DH is right now, top AL or bottom MC so I’m looking for a facility with both. But if he should eventually need nursing home level care, having to move him again would be difficult and upsetting. There’s also a pretty big jump in price for all levels, across the board, in facilities that have an onsite nursing home.

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Memory Care normally agrees to keep a resident until death, as it's intended to be their last home. Hospice is called in when end of life approaches, for extra help, and if Skilled Nursing is needed, you'd be applying for Medicaid anyway I'd think, which means a move. My mother was incontinent, wheelchair bound, falling constantly, had CHF and other issues like Sundowning agitation, and MC had no issue keeping her. Her rent in 2022 was $6500 a month. Not including meds or Depends, until hospice came in and then that's all covered by Medicare too. That was in the greater Denver area at a beautiful 23 bedroom Memory Care Assisted Living facility.

If DH gets placed, be sure to find out what their policy is on keeping residents till death. Of course, you cannot anticipate behavioral issues but a good MC will work with a geriatric psychiatrist to get the right meds prescribed. The docs come into the MC, along with lab techs. Its very convenient and a Godsend. I even had travel dentists come in to extract teeth for mom. Very high prices, but very convenient as they work on the resident in their own recliner!

Best of luck.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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Each state is different in terms of how these facilities are licensed, regulated and what guarantees for which care are in the contract. An AL or MC in one state may be totally different from another. As such, there can be forced moves when the care required is beyond the scope of the AL or MC.

Nursing homes (skilled nursing facilities) on the other hand are regulated by the Federal Gov and are Medicare and Medicaid approved. That means that the rules and requirements for what is covered, staffing requirements, other quality metrics are required across all states so it is more of an apples to apples comparison. Nevertheless, that does NOT mean they ALL are the same quality.

Then there are so-called "continuum of care" or "life care" facilities that one pays a high fee to inter when one is independent. As one might need care for Al or MC, in theory, it is guaranteed. Some have arrangements with SNF or Rehab facilities to take that on if needed. But other than the SNF/Rehab aspect, these too are state regulated. Some have had solvency issues, and went under. The upfront fee is lost and if the facility goes under, one still has to move.

I would strongly recommend engaging a licensed elder care attorney in your state to help navigate this. They often know the best facilities and can help with planning for Medicaid if that may be needed later on. They too can help review the paperwork one has to sign as that is a binding contract and many facilities have "trick" language. Once one signs the paperwork there is no do over. Get legal advice on this before signing anything.
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Reply to Sohenc
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I think it is nice and I think it's convenient and I think you need to be basically made of money. The "nursing home" connected to a private pay ALF is usually "memory care" and usually runs on average close to 20,000 a month. These facilities are really wonderful in that it is familiar surroundings (my brother in So Cal had this set up in cottages that housed about 14 persons each in a beautiful park-like setting, and one of the large cottages was the memory care). Moreover, if there is a couple, and one in need of memory care and the other in ALF still, then that works well. And they have familiar faces and places around them.

It is a matter of what you an find, what can work for you.
My parents in Missouri had basically a Village, where they started in IL in a condo, moved to apartments, then to ALF and then for my mom briefly to MC. Worked wonderfully for them. Again, private pay and a matter of affordability.
I wish you the best.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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I have experience (more than I wanted) with this in California. SL/AL/MC are great if you have upfront knowledge of the costs as your LO devolves and requires more care. In my experience, memory care tends to be one-size fits all. If your LO wanders or sundowns, they will recommend MC so they don't disrupt the SL/AL residents which leaves your LO captive during the day with people who are much less functional than they are. NONE of the above are covered by medicare and their capabilities vary widely.

SNFs (nursing homes) are covered if your LO has a medical need. Check how long they are covered. Often, they are limited to X days after discharge from the hospital. Unless medicaid is your coverage, you probably cannot use this as a Federally paid care plan.

I HIGHLY RECOMMEND Board & Care facilities. They cost close to the same as MC, but the ratios of care givers to residents is lower and more personalized. I moved my LO to one a year ago. I wish I did it sooner!

You didn't share the diagnosis, but if your LO has a cognitive diagnosis and conveyed interest in MAID, you will not get support at a SL/AL/MC. It's in their financial interest in keeping your LO alive and needing their care as long as possible.

My LO doesn't qualify for MAID, but our hospice is aware of this and supplied "comfort" medication. While the owner of our BC has conveyed that they do not support MAID, the care staff and our hospice LVN gets it and has been helpful. Otherwise, I would have needed to move her to my home and manage all this myself.

Board & Care is the way to go!
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Reply to PMG925
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Peasuep 10 hours ago
PMG, this is new information to me. I have not seen the term ‘Board & Care facility’ used in any of the resource materials I’ve received. Are you referring to Residential Care facilities, as in a private home? If so, for some reason I’ve avoided looking in that direction due to a prior bad experience but maybe I need to reconsider.
Yes, DH is heading toward a dementia diagnosis and no, we will not qualify for Medicaid. Thanks.
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Whatever the choice, when the elder moves, someone is hired or family moves things. Family should be around for item placement in the room. Upon death, family needs to remove belongings within a few days so as not to incur another month of rent. When transitioning to SNF the elder might need fewer furnishings.
I moved my mom from 1 MC to another in a different state with multi levels. She passed in MC so she did not need the last step. However when moving things out, a single bedroom only required a small UHaul and less than 3 hours with sorting out what goes to donate and what goes to trash and those 2stops plus 1 to drop items to my home we're all completed in that final trip.
As far as services within her multi facility, each unit ran independent of staff with the exception of med techs. If a higher level of nursing care was needed, mom would have to move to the next unit to receive that care or I would have had to hire outside help.
As far as increasing costs, yes, I am familiar. The more your husband needs, the costs go up. Expect this with yearly cost increases as well.
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Reply to MACinCT
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This is my opinion and may not fit with your plans or with anyone elses opinion.

i first started looking … years ago … for assisted living and found one with connected access to memory care. Now there are several.

but it has occurred to me that it is more likely that one of us might not need memory care and found an assisted living facility with inside access to long term/skilled.

often there is a memory care section inside the long term section anyway.

BUT this particular facility is not as ethically nice as the assisted/memory care facilities which offer meals all day, van rides, games, movies, other activities. (For instance no holiday festivities at this one for residents and family and interested visitors.)

but since it offers combined assistance living and skilled i’ll put up with the on-the-way-to-being-outdated facility.
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Reply to Betsysue2002
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Depends on what condition your husband is in to determine the level of his care. Each level of care, IL, AL, SN and Memory Care, gets progressively more expensive. If DH has been diagnosed with memory issues, place him in memory care. Check with a licensed social worker for Medicaid-licensed in the region where you live.
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Reply to Patathome01
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Peasuep: Prayers sent for you and your DH.
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Reply to Llamalover47
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Peasuep 5 hours ago
Thanks Llama, I’ll take every prayer I can get! Tomorrow is his neuro-psyche eval that we have been waiting 3 months for. I am worried sick about getting him there, through the 3 hours of testing, and back home again without mishap.
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Some places offer "aging in place" where they adjust level of care for each resident depending on needs. However, those places will be a bit pricey.

Any change for a person with dementia is going to create difficulty for a bit. The goal is to create consistent environment and consistent routine. Knowing and re-creating those is half the battle.
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Reply to Taarna
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When mother developed Dementia, we were forced to move her to an AL or MC. We opted for the smaller AL facility, which we felt would give her better care, and also kept on her caregiver/companion of several years. The AL assured us she could age in place there unless she became belligerent or a runaway. As her dementia progressed, the facility accommodated (with an extra step-up fee of course) her dietary and transferring needs. When she was at the end, we had her in Hospice which was another Godsend, providing extra care and attention.

Altogether, the cost of the facility and personal companion was cheaper than the ALtoMC facilities we looked into. We are in Texas, so I'm not sure of the prices you're looking at, but check with the AL and see if they have step-ups which allow him to age-in-place.

The only real difference we saw in the AL and a MC is cost and the size of the facilities. I didn't notice a significant difference in the care level, only that the MC is required to have a RN on staff 24/7. The AL RN was on staff 5 days/8 hours, then on 24 hour call. This meant that whenever a fall that involved a head injury (not sure if this wouldn't be the same at a MC, though), an emergency visit was required by law. After she was in Hospice, their nurse and doctors came out and made the call. Even brought in an xray machine one time!

That said, I'm sure you know that everything depends on the facility. Do your research until you're comfortable with your decision. I agree that moving them after they've become familiar with a place can be extremely detrimental.

As you can see, you are not alone. I feel for your situation and wish you all the blessings that come with a caregiver's crown.
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Reply to MamaChar
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