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I never thought I would ask this. My father has late stage dementia and sleeps a whole lot. I have just become the caregiver since my mother is in rehab and I can't believe how incredibly hard it is to change, clean, and reposition him in the bed after he has had a bowel movement. I can't seem to get him fully on the mattress and his legs are off the bed. He is dead weight and I am exhausted from trying to move him up. Does anyone have advice on how to make the process more efficient? (By the way, he just got on hospice and a hospital bed will be ordered and a team will come next week, but in the meantime I need help.) Thank you all for your responses. This is the best site for caregiver support!

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There was no way I could have handled my father. I was not strong enough and he wouldn't work with me to do things. If you are having trouble, you might want to consider hiring a caregiver or placing your father in a facility. Sometimes hospice organizations will have a facility that can be paid for by Medicare and Medicaid. I know you want to keep your dad at home, but sometimes it isn't practical. You can end up hurting him and yourself if you aren't strong enough.
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BTW, you can hire attendants to come in to give your father a dry bath two or three times a week. Some hospice organizations offer this. Ask them if they do or for a recommendation of an individual to help.
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Following (as I may be in this position if Dad has to leave MC).
JessieBelle, what is a dry bath -- is it like using dry shampoo?
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I have seen petite women handle big men on their own
While it helps to have an extra set of hands this might help

Lay three Chux on the bed - center and one on each side of center - these will help you roll him side to side
You use the Chux to roll him and place a pillow near his back to help keep him place
Staff at mom's care center uses no rinse cleanser but also warm water with wash cloths to clean her
Use diaper cream too with zinc oxide
If the Chux gets wet then replace it since it's not fully under him
To roll him back pull on the opposite Chux and place a pillow behind his back until you've got his diaper in place

Mom sleeps with a pillow at each side and under her legs
Repositioning her to each side during the night 3x to help prevent bedsores
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I think it will be very difficult to stop him from sliding down until his legs are dangling off the bed's edge. It's also difficult to try to pull him back up without having a headboard to help you lean against as you lean over to pull him back up. You can seriously hurt your back doing this on a regular bed. My mom was bedridden and completely vegetative-state. She couldn't even move her head nor her finger. Even on the hospital bed, she would slide down until her feet is against the foot board. And even that didn't stop her sliding. Her feet ended up curling awkwardly from being jammed against the foot board and her body sliding down. We had to constantly pull her up... I found that if I put a pillow beneath her legs, it would help slow down her sliding body. Are you able to use a smaller dresser or something solid to lean against the foot of the bed? And then put a thick pillow between his feet and the dresser? My dad's solution, instead of the pillow, was he used one of those soft boxes (like my ice coffee box, etc..) and stuff it with old clothes. He taped the box to strengthen it. Then he put that box against the foot board. I then bought those triangle pads for bedridden patients to prevent pressure foot sores to wrap each of mom's foot in it. She would still slide down but not as fast as before.

As for pulling him up, that's difficult without the railing (for him to help you) and the head board (for you to lean against as you pull him back up.) My dad weighed much more than mom. There was no way I could have pulled him up without his help. He was kind of paralyzed on the left side but he was still able to help me by kicking his feet to push him up. I keep trying to imagine how you can do this on a regular bed....

Another option, if you can use a tight fitted bedsheet on the mattress. Then, get a heavy duty flat blanket (thick enough for you to be pulling your dad up) which we call a 'lifter.' Because you're by yourself, you will need to lay this blanket folded twice, lengthwise (it will cover past the top of his head and down the foot of the bed) but it must cover most of the bed. You will need to find the most comfortable and not so bad a straining of your back (use your legs as much as possible, not your back) position - at the head of the bed. Lean over, grab the lifter and Pull your dad towards you. He, along with the lifter that's below him, will slide towards you as you pull... A bit of tip that I learned the hard way. Make sure that the length of the blanket has more sheet dangling off the foot of the bed. Mom and dad would slide down. And sometimes, by the time I'm going to pull them up, their feet is off the lifter blanket. It makes pulling them up towards you harder because their feet will be dragging against the bedding, instead of completely on the lifter and sliding towards you.

As for cleaning him, I'd google some YouTube videos and see how they do it. Take what you think would work for you and your father. I did that with my mom. Most didn't apply but I did glean some tidbits.
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I googled "how to give a bed bath" and You-tube videos showing people doing it. demstress, you may find them very helpful.
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They sell special slide sheets, but a cheap effective solution to help with moving them up higher in bed is to tuck an ordinary trash bag under their incontinence pad, it helps them slide much more easily. If your pee pads are not very large or strong you can also use the old nursing trick of laying a folded sheet across the bed to help with re-positioning. Remove the bag when you are finished and stash it with your incontinence supplies.
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