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My mom fell ill and ended up in the hospital for a week. Went the a rehab facility for 4 days and came home early bc she did not want to stay there. The case worker arranged to have a physical therapist come to the house a few times a week. She has only had them come a few times and is all ready saying she wants to stop getting therapy. She thinks the pt wants money from her. They asked about her insurance and for whatever reason my mom took it the wrong way. I told her she does need to try to continue with it so she can start walking up the stairs again.

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Arrange those appointments so someone can be there with mom. Who helps her do the exercises she should be doing, at least, once daily.

Sounds like she might be at the beginning of dementia. Paranoia is a frequent symptom.
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She's a little young to be having Sundowning from dementia, so I would have her checked for a UTI, especially if her hospital stay included being catheterized. And, if she had anesthesia during that stay, it might have temporarily impacted her cognitive abilities.

At her age she should definitely move forward with PT to regain mobility. Are you able to be at the home appointments with her? Can the appointments be made for mornings?

If she's paranoid, you won't be able to "reason" with her about the importance of PT... therefore, start by addressing this symptom right away. Talk to her regular doctor about your concerns for her. A UTI can be treated with antibiotics. Hospital delirium (from anesthesia) may take longer to go away. If it's dementia or ALZ... that's another issue for which you and brothers will need to educate yourselves in order to deal with it and get her an accurate diagnosis. I realize it's a hot mess with her physical problems right now. I wish you success in helping her.
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Your Mom has dementia?
If the answer to that is yes, then there is honestly so little you can do to help. It was likely a great mistake to let her rule the roost in deciding when she would come home. Rehabs are used to dealing with this and would have got her up and moving. At some point, after injury and illness, the tendency is not to want to do that, and for us elders it is truly use it or lose it. I am 80. I walk daily but of late lots of rain for us, and I have been so much more sedentary, sitting here tapping away. That isn't good. And I can feel it already in increased aches and pains, in balance issues I always deal with, so today, like it or not, out I go. It isn't something we stick to with dementia. We give up.
Paranoia, as you will understand, is common, also to dementia and the elder's failing mind.
I understand how difficult it is to make Mom get moving again. Speak to her doc if you are MPOA and discuss whether or not a mild mild anti depressant might help. It sometimes does. Ask if he has other ideas for you. I wish I had more. And wish you the best of luck.
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My MIL refuses to have anyone in her home but her daughter and my DH. Literally no one.

When she has required PT (after a series of falls) she did what they made her do in the hospital and then went home and didn't do a thing.

You can't force them, you can't shame them--if they do not want 'strangers' in their home, then that's what's going to happen.

For SIL and DH, this wasn't the hill they wanted to die on. She's very difficult to deal with and they are just trying to stay on her 'good side' so they can get her the things she does need.
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Does your mother live with you? If she is only in her early 70's, what happens as she needs increasing help? Do you work? Are the plan for increasing help as she ages?
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Mlynn8660 Mar 2023
My brothers live with my mom. One works morning the other works evenings. She not home by herself all the time. We are hoping she will be able to get around the house herself, but we do not have set plans if she gets worse.
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Please encourage your “too young to be immobile for life” mom, to continue PT. My mom stopped being an active person, in her late 30’s, never was big on working out, hiking, biking, and as she gained grandchildren, she turned into a person, who simply held the babies on her lap, and stayed out in her recliner. When she had her double knee replacements, she rode her bike less than two weeks, and did not do what one must, to stay moving. Never did PT for any of her falls.

Mom was hospitalized a couple months ago, was only release. To her home, with dad and our youngest caregiving sister, who has lived with them her entire life. Our sister rejected the SNF highly suggested recc, and now, for the first time ever, miraculously, mom is 5 weeks or so into PT, has made a connection with her therapist, and was upgraded to more sessions a week.

I have seen none of this with my own eyes, and after this past weeks struggles between us four daughters, we are going to have serious difficulties ahead. Yesterday brought news that our mom had her first mental break, having no idea who her daughter and husband was, and mom was totally in her own world, losing it. So, we updated four days ago, that mom was able to use her walker alone, could get up easier, and had made progress with mobility, and yesterday brought us the overly emotional way dramatic update that mom is finally beginning to lose it, and her fulltime, only daughter allowed to caregiver them, told us she is hoping this will not become a regular thing now. Unreal. This is a hard journey, but if one has mobility, it is much easier, because my MIL has full blown Alzeheimers, but she was always dedicated to exercise and movement. Please do what you can to impart on your mom, that it is true if we do not move, we lose our ability to move. Simple. Wishing you luck, hugs.
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Ask the PT staff to only address their questions to the family members and not to your mother directly.

My mother was very hard of hearing. She would wear her hearing aid but she couldn’t hear them correctly if they spoke too fast.

I was always present during the time when mom’s physical and occupational therapists came. I asked them to ask me any questions that they had.

Maybe this will help in your mom’s case as well.

Best wishes to you and your family.
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