How do you deal with the silence and not talking much?

How dreadful it is that your grandmother's children left YOU with this burden to care for her, with such a terrible dementia diagnosis, all on your own, w/o any help and with no escape.

Like AlvaDeer said, I'd give your Aunt your 2 week notice IMMEDIATELY and get out of this situation at once. Not for lack of love for your grandmother, but for sheer burnout and the absurdity of being left in such a situation in the first place. 6 years is 5 years and 11 months too long that you've had this job with no pay and no benefits, so it's time you strike out on your own and find a job that you're paid to do. It's your turn now to develop a social life, find friends and start dating!

Wishing you the best of luck moving out and on with your own life now. You deserve to.

Karn, my heart goes out to you, but you should not be doing this. You Grandma's children need to take on responsiblity to have her placed in care and you need to get on with education (if not done) with job, with your own place and your own life. I would encourage you to consider "giving notice" and doing this. I recognize that doing this may give you a place to stay and enough money to stay alive and have a place to live with food provided, and I recognize how crazy scary it will get to leave what you know and get out there in the world we enter when you are grown, but it is time to consider doing just that so you don't sacrifice your entire 20s, that time when you get out there on your own, get a friends and a life, and begin to mature. I surely do wish you the very best.
I guess some of would say it is "good luck" to have a grandma who is content with quiet as opposed to the difficulties that hit many elder with Lewy's (tho it leaves YOU with no real communication at all).
My brother had a probably early Lewy's Dementia diagnosis, and he died before it could get bad of another cause. To be frank, I think he was lucky; it was what he wanted; he knew what he had and feared where it would take him.
Good luck and best wishes out to you.

Karn2020, speak to the person who has Power of Attorney or whoever should be in charge. 

Politely let them know you will be moving on with your life, therefore, they will need to take over. 

Give the POA a set time when you are ready to go. 

Let the POA know that if they do not take over, then you will contact the Department on Aging in your state to get the help needed to enhance your grandmother’s quality of life by connecting her with services that will help take care of her.

Karn why do you stay ? Are you getting paid a salary ? I would start there . Who is Power of attorney ? There is no way you can do it all . I would suggest a social worker for you and if Possible a psychiatrist . Contact elder services or have the social worker help you . See if you can get someone to clean and bathe her . Too bad if she doesn't Like paying for it . Why are you stuck doing all this work ? 6 years is a long time and I know because I have been doing it for 6 years . Do you have a separate living space for privacy ? Your giving up the best years of your Life . Your 20's is suppose to be fun and adventurous . You need to be compensated . Most people Make $25 a hour . Your definitely being taken advantage of by her children . Who Put you in this Position and dumped you with this responsibility . I would hand them their parent Back and get on with your Life .

Most times in life you have to "make happen" what you want. What you want is a fuller, active life. If you weren't there doing what you're doing, someone else would have to step in. Period. How do you make that happen? - speak up and let others hear your voice. The way your aunt moved out during the week, you must do the same. I do understand that you can't physically move out yet - but you can prepare the family by telling them you need more help and more time to look for a new job, join a gym, take some courses - whatever your dreams are. It is a normal, valid and very basic thing that you are asking for - DO IT!
Your grandmother once had and aide but balked at the cost - no surprise there! Most elderly people can't fathom their hard earned money going to a stranger, nor do they understand/accept what the wages are today. However, I am hearing that the money IS there, she just doesn't want to part with it - and she's thinking why should she when she has you living there? (a little sidebar-I took care of my mom but hired a part time local aide at $20. an hour. I told Mom she had to pay but even when I told her the rate was $10 an hour, she thought it was too high! And she loved the woman! lol).
It's time to talk to your aunt and say that Gram needs part-time outside help now because you need to take steps to get a job and move on with your life. THIS IS YOUR RIGHT. If your Aunt is POA she can hire and pay the aide out of Grams money just as she pays everything else. Gram doesn't need to know the cost - a white lie will go a long way here. If that's not acceptable, Grams children should share that cost.
Last - it's clear you are a kind, loving and caring person who may have become introverted due to the hard life you have had. Nonetheless, you are a valuable person who surely has a lot to offer in this world. Consider taking a nursing course, a very lucrative job that will open up many doors for you. If that's not your interest, please take steps to live your dream - whatever they are. You sound like a very intelligent person with a lot of insight - you just need that confidence and belief in yourself to make it happen. You owe it to yourself.
On another note, while you are living there and helping out, to quell the silence - here are some things I suggest. Talk to your grandmother, even if she doesn't or cannot answer. Talk about current news, how much you love her, and your dreams. Keep the rooms bright and cheery. PLAY MUSIC. The elderly LOVE hearing music from their era, and play some of your own. Exercise. Learn to cook. Take some online courses in whatever interests you, join a MeetUp group - stay active!
This is my last suggestion which may be the hardest one: if no one reaches out to you - reach out to them! Call them up just to say "hi". It may be awkward at first but it will get easier. Explain you and Grams would love some company from time to time. Invite them over for lunch, one by one. Even if just one of those people reciprocates, your loneliness will be a bit less. You are on your journey to a better life and you CAN do it. One step at a time.
PLEASE stay on this site and keep us updated. We care!

Karn From what I read here, It sounds like your family dysfunction left you taking care of yourself long before you should have been expected to do it. Don't rush into any big life changes. Ease into it. I'm wondering if this situation gave you a place to stay and also provided grandma with a caregiver. If so, nothing wrong with that, but you haven't had much life experience apart from all of the family dysfunction.
One thing I realized a long time ago, is that people don't even realize that the role of a caregiver is REALLY, REALLY hard. It just does not dawn on some people that it can be so difficult, until they have been in that position themselves. Those of us here, know how hard it is.
You haven't stated if you are getting paid, or not. You should be. A lot of people are not aware that you can get paid for what you are doing, even if the person is on Medicaid or might someday be transitioned over to Medicaid. Grandma can't take the money with her, but is there a possibility that the POA does not want the money to be used? After all, less money spent on her care, leaves more for the beneficiaries. Not accusing anyone of this, it's just a fact. My sister and I take turns caring for our mother. We get paid for it, but have to keep good records in case she ever has to transition to Medicaid.
Whatever you choose to do, make thoughtful decisions. Ease into changes, it's too easy to jump in before you are ready, but DO reach out and let the other family members know you are overwhelmed and this isn't working anymore.

Karn, how did you end up in such a hopeless situation?

Don't you think your grandmother deserves more socialization and more professional medical care than you alone can give?

Have you had a recent assessment of your mental health?

Who holds power of attorney for health and finances for your grandmother?

What city and state are you in? If local, I would be willing to give some respite care. You need time & space to live YOUR life.

In my area I was able to get some weekly respite care paid for by the state. They also paid for me to receive counseling as a caregiver and would pay for a certain amount of supplies each year (such as money to get a camera for my dads room to monitor him) They also offered educational materials and classes for those coping with caring for an elderly person. Perhaps some support like this is available to you and would be helpful. Also if your grandma has declined this much she may now qualify for hospice care which is enormously helpful. Her doctor can help you with that.

OMG! You are a loving grandson, but this situation is totally out of balance. I concur with the many good suggestions offered here, and the observations that THIS is NOT how you should be spending this time in your life.

First of all, you must take care of YOU. Good for you for recognizing that the situation isn't good for your mental, physical, social health or employment prospects. Connect with a therapist or a support group (many are online these days) Look for one @ www.ALZ.org

Speak with grama's doctor. Hospice is a good idea - it will get someone into the home, to assess grandma's living situation, provide you with options and resources, AND it will be so affirming for YOU just to have someone witness what you are dealing with. That alone will reduce your sense of isolation.

Yes, you can get paid for being her caregiver. Depends on what state you live in. In NYS, see Consumer Directed Personal Assistance Program (CDPAP) (ny.gov) A Social Worker or the Alzheimer's Association can help with this.

Get it documented that YOU have been living there and providing care for grandma. A lawyer can help with this. And if she owns the house - there may be provisions for you to be compensated when the house is sold.

Even if you get paid to care for gram, find a way to GET OUT OF THE HOUSE EVERYDAY - walks, a PT job, a hobby.

Don't wait for others to step up - likely they won't. Continue to write to this forum - to let us know how you are doing.