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How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
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Are they experiencing any memory loss?
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Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
In the same boat right now . We are waiting for mother in law to fall (again), or end up in the hospital with a medical problem to try to set up care. But often we don't find out until she's back home again. Nothing we can do since she is competent, she also refuses to assign POA to anyone if needed some day. She is currently still living at home with a blood clot in her leg at the moment. Needs a walker and refuses. She needs to have an aide coming to the house or move to assisted living and she refuses.
A wise social worker once told me some of them have to fail before they will accept help. Something will happen (like a fall, or medical emergency )to force a change.
Is your mother in law competent ?
If you think she has dementia and is living alone unsafe, you can call her local County Area of Aging for a needs assessment, or APS.
Also you do NOT need to BE the help. You AND your HUSBAND can set up help to come to her, or help her find a place to live where she will have a full staff of help. Do not volunteer yourselves to be slaves. I already did that because my parents refused help to come into the home. DON'T be the slave. My MIL lives 4 hours away, we can not do hands on , however, she needs help.
Also do not have a difficult elderly person move in with you, and don't move in with her. Good Luck
If there’s a dementia diagnosis and she’s unable to make sound decisions your husband or other family member makes decisions on her behalf despite any protests from her. This is the time she’s in a place of relying on family to look out for her when she’s no longer capable of doing so for herself. If there’s no dementia diagnosis and she simply doesn’t want help, you back off and leave her alone. This is the only way she will ever see any need for help. The wise social workers say “events will happen that will force change” and it’s very true. Meanwhile, don’t argue and cajole, let her figure it out
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Can you give us more to go?
A generic answer would be she may have some dementia and she is scared her independence will be taken away from her
Has she been unevaluated ? does she still have official decision making capacity?
I assume since she doesnt want any help, no one has been appointed power of attorney (POA) or anything like that?
Do any family members live in proximity to her?
What help have you tried to provide for her to date?
What are her specific daily needs, or dangerous living conditions (like does she wander outside, drive unsafely, leave an empty pot on a burner, etc)?
A wise social worker once told me some of them have to fail before they will accept help. Something will happen (like a fall, or medical emergency )to force a change.
Is your mother in law competent ?
If you think she has dementia and is living alone unsafe, you can call her local County Area of Aging for a needs assessment, or APS.
Also you do NOT need to BE the help. You AND your HUSBAND can set up help to come to her, or help her find a place to live where she will have a full staff of help. Do not volunteer yourselves to be slaves. I already did that because my parents refused help to come into the home. DON'T be the slave. My MIL lives 4 hours away, we can not do hands on , however, she needs help.
Also do not have a difficult elderly person move in with you, and don't move in with her.
Good Luck
As hard as it is, step away. Your husband can do whatever he feels is best.
You don't help. You husband helps his mother. You support your husband by helping him.