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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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It depends on what you mean by "deal with" and "falling in love with."
I think if I were 98 and I were being nicely looked after by a sweet, kind young person who showered me with attention and approval, I might be a little bit in love with her too. I'd talk about her a lot, and be smitten with her virtues, and all of the other things that look like the budding of romantic attachment.
Are you genuinely concerned that he might be at risk of abuse or exploitation if you just let him enjoy it?
A good aide will know how to handle herself in this position. As long as he isn't trying to be physical and its just a crush, I wouldn't worry about it. If the aide incourages the attention, then I would get another one. There have been stories on this forum where the aide overrides the wishes of the POA. One moved her family in. Another thought because she was a live in, was entitled to be able to live in the house after the clients death.
U need to talk to the aide, see if she is uncomfortable. I agree, watch the situation. If he has Dementia he probably thinks he is her age. Won't be able to change that. The aide has to discourage him. Telling him she is married with kids. Has a BF.
Hammer13, just curious how you know this is happening? Is this something that the 98 year old is telling you? If yes, he could be just smitten by the Aide because she is there to help him. He might be reading more into this crush than what is actually happening.
Ask the Aide if the 98 year old is approaching her? Or is he just flirting? As JoAnn had said, a good Aide will know how to handle this situation. If the 98 year old is getting fresh with her, she would contact her Agency, and the Agency would contact you.
Hammer You have given us very little information. Does the elder have dementia? Why do you have to deal with a 98 yr old falling in love with his aide? Is this your relative? Are you the aide? When you say “his” aide I assume this is for an elder living at home? If the aide is bothered by attention, or the attention is inappropriate or causes a problem then the aide should be replaced. Give her a great referral and time to find another position and appropriate intervention. Hopefully the aide is not encouraging him.
Just be aware that, depending on the details of your situation, your LO may be ripe for elder financial abuse. From family experience I can tell you that an aid to my cousin's half-brother seemed to be just an angel and "cared so much for John". My cousin wasn't monitoring the situation closely enough. Well that aide got him to sign over everything to her. Not saying this is the case for your LO, but approach the situation with your eyes wide open.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I think if I were 98 and I were being nicely looked after by a sweet, kind young person who showered me with attention and approval, I might be a little bit in love with her too. I'd talk about her a lot, and be smitten with her virtues, and all of the other things that look like the budding of romantic attachment.
Are you genuinely concerned that he might be at risk of abuse or exploitation if you just let him enjoy it?
U need to talk to the aide, see if she is uncomfortable. I agree, watch the situation. If he has Dementia he probably thinks he is her age. Won't be able to change that. The aide has to discourage him. Telling him she is married with kids. Has a BF.
Ask the Aide if the 98 year old is approaching her? Or is he just flirting? As JoAnn had said, a good Aide will know how to handle this situation. If the 98 year old is getting fresh with her, she would contact her Agency, and the Agency would contact you.
You have given us very little information. Does the elder have dementia?
Why do you have to deal with a 98 yr old falling in love with his aide?
Is this your relative? Are you the aide?
When you say “his” aide I assume this is for an elder living at home?
If the aide is bothered by attention, or the attention is inappropriate or causes a problem then the aide should be replaced. Give her a great referral and time to find another position and appropriate intervention. Hopefully the aide is not encouraging him.
But it may apply to this situation....
OH, and make sure you have POA and etc et.... Does he have a living trust alaready? Make sure he is or isn't mentally distracted.
As long as the aide is professional, and not falling back in love with him...this should be a positive situation.
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