Have a 40 hour per week caregiver. Very good with them.
Dad-high fall risk. Diabetes untended. Bad heart. Maybe mild Alzheimer's? Gets angry when we talk about hiring another caregiver.
Mom-has pulmonary hypertension-terminal (probably 1 year or less). She can't walk and breathe at the same time. Took care of dad until the last few years. She wants help but doesn't want to live with the consequences of going against dad.
I live in Florida and they live in Oklahoma. I've been here 8 times in the last year, 3 weeks this time. I have a family and business at home.
To your parents, you're "the kid" and know nothing. Get a doctor or other professional to tell them what their needs are.
But you need to draw a boundary as well. If they are competent enough to decide not to have 24/7 coverage, then point out to them that you are no longer flying to their sides for their emergencies.
All the pleading in the world (We're so worried about you!) went unheard. Scaring them is what worked, as cruel as it sounds.
We also had to give ourselves space to just let the worst come true and let something happen to one of them.
Be aware that overnight care is terribly, terribly expensive. $25 an hour here in Texas. That's $200 for an 8 hour night. $6k a month! Also, if the folks have Long Term Health Insurance, it WILL NOT cover home health care of that sort.
Let us know how things turn out. You are definitely between a rock and hard place.
I personally feel that your/their money would be better spent on an Assisted Living. Then you know they are safe. Maybe you can get Dad to go along telling him he needs to do it for Mom. If he loves her, make her final year comfortable with no worries.
You could also enlist help from a social worker. That’s about all you can do.
If she's concerned about what happens when her back's turned, and especially if she has any ideas about how to fill the gaps in the care schedule, she might be a very useful person when it comes to changing your father's mind about this. How long has she been with them?