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My brother is her financial POA, is on her joint checking account, the executor of her will. She has no health care directive. I am concerned if he should die and she is incompentent, who will pay her bills, take care of her business. I have tried to talk to my brother and mother about my concerns but they just don't seem to care. My brother says, "You can just get guardianship", well gee thanks.

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That's funny, here in Ohio my foster dad was never alerted as far as I know that guardianship was being processed. That's why it came as such a shock to us when things started happening that we didn't see coming. We were never warned it was coming, it just happened secretly without us ever knowing. It makes me wonder if someone had a secret agenda of just grabbing everything dad head which is exactly what ended up happening. You would've thought here in Ohio though they would've given the person a warning and a chance to contest it but sadly that never happened
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Go see an attorney now. Sis is a thief and a vindictive bully, or she imagines that Mom would be all better if only HER care plan and not yours was in place. Is there anything realistic Sis could point to that could be a problem with having Mom receive care in the family home? Does Mom always have someone with her (it sounds from your description like she needs that?) Or was that basement hoarded or hazardous? Without guardianship or very strong documentation of Mom's incapacity, if Mom agrees to go with Sis and is then induced to sign new POA papers, your relationship with Mom is over. If Sis is as much in the wrong and as unreasonable as you have portrayed, you really need to take measures to stop her.

If Sis has any kind of a valid perspective and is not just off the deep end or being brutal, another option could be an elder mediation service. Has she ever voiced a reasonable perspective on any of this to you, beyond just wishing to be POA, which does not seem like enough of a grievance to go as far as she has, so you have more of an idea of where she is coming from?
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I have POA, Durable Medical and am the executor for my mom. My youngest sister is still so angry thst she wasn't named POA that she is becoming increasingly difficult in her demands regarding our mother's care. My sister lives 3,000 miles away (I live 15 minutes away) but she still aspires to take over. She has removed all the items from my mom's safe deposit box and taken the stock certificates, bonds and treasury bills back to her house. She removed my mom "cold turkey" from her Ativan for 52 hours without consulting any of mom's doctors. Mom had full blown withdrawal symptoms which could have been life threatening. She lied and told the local pharmacist that she was mom's caregiver and demanded a print out of mom's medication history, the prescribing doctors written orders and the dosages for all her meds (clearly a HIPAA violation besides lying). The final straw was when she completely cleared out mom's basement and either donated or trashed all mom's belongings that were housed downstairs saying mom needed to "get rid of everything now"! She has told several people that her goal is to move mom to a nursing home about an hour from her house 3,000 miles away. Mom is 90, completely incapacitated from vascular and fronto-temporal lobe dementia, and has the most amazing caregivers who are with her 24/7 so she can stay in the single family home where she has lived for 25 years. She recently told the main caregiver that she intends to take mom on a "vacation" the next time she visits and won't need the caregiver's help. We all believe she is planning to forcably take (kidnap) mom at that time. Do I need to get Guardianship or is a restraining/peace order enough? Is my POA and Durable Medical enough to block my sister from removing my mom from her home without having to go to court to get guardianship? Help! My sister may return as early as two weeks from now!
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Mother95, it should not be allowed to or not, but what's really best. Unless you think the guardianship was fraudulently obtained, work with your sister to see that Mom gets the care she needs, even if she does not want it and sincerely thinks she does not need it at all. You and I know that wishing things were different won't make it so, but for Mom thinking your sister is the cause of her problems may be easier than facing realities. If you and sis team up and even play good cop / bad cop if you need to, maybe Mom will be able to have a less anxious quality of life where she is.
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Emergency Temporary Guardianship was granted to my sister. My mother is furious and does not want to see my sister. She is terrified whenever my sister comes to visit. Is my mother required to allow my sister to visit at her apartment in an assisted living location?
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Dignity,you'll need a lawyer and a pocket full of money.If it's uncontested you should have no problem unless your husband passes away before the court date then it's a waste of time and money.
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Please help me obtain guardianship papers for my husband ASAP. He has end
stage Alzheimer's . I want to do the right thing for him. I had no idea the hospital
wants me to let my husband stay in a room with no water or nourishment until he passes .Please help me!
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my two sisters obtained a POA I have no problem with it however they immediately want to put her in Assisted living she is no threat I live with her since my sisters have POA does my mother have any say so if she goes or not she wants to live me I have been taking care of her for the last 10 yrs Does a POA have the right to put a elderly person in assisted care when she doesn't want to go?
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I have medical poa for my mom. my nephew is stepping in and trying to take over what can I do?
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I was POA for my mother for 4 years. I also had been living with her and taking care of her finances and home and health needs. She recently fell and spent only one day at the ER. She was diagnosed Paget's disease. My daughter, her granddaughter, and I agreed that she should go and stay with her and her husband temporarily because there would be more help to lift my mother up and down from a wheelchair. Within the space of 3 weeks of staying with my daughter, she had convinced my mother to change her bank accounts, change her POA and her living will, stripping my name from everything. After explaining to my mother what has happened more than once, she never seems to recall doing any of these things, eventhough, her signature is on all the documents. My daughter is not financially sound and my mother does own her own home and does have a moderate amount of savings. I talked to a lawyer and she told me to go for legal guardianship. I am worried that my mother will lose everything and that my daughter now has the power to put her in a nursing home which is the one thing my mother has never wanted. She has enough savings to have care in her own home. Has this happened to anyone else?
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BillyJ, it is generally legal to use parent's money for their legitimate legal needs. Ikey, your sister is in the process of doing exactly the right thing by going to court and getting brother legally prevented from further appropriations of mom's funds, and if you have the nerve, you can sue him and attempt to get some of it back because that is blatant abuse of the POA. Guardianship prevents Mom from giving POA back to him is she recovers to the point where she could try to. Sorry this happened to you. It is very hard to go up against a family member but it had to be done.
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My brother was taking care of our Mother we had no problems with this until a fire had them leave their home. She ended up in a temporary stay at a nursing home he immediately had someone come in to do a POA on her. He then had control of her money she received from the fire (22,500). He spent it on everything except getting them another apartment which he promised her he would do spent money on fixing up his ex wifes house paid her bills bought himself and his family members new clothes and a lot more all out of my mothers fire insurance money. SHe ended up with another of my brothers who ended up kicking her out due to his own agenda with his wife. But my sister had to step in and have his POA dissolved in order to protect my mothers SSi check and retirement checks. He spent those also for 3 months on his own personal stuff. Mom ended up in a hospital on a vent and when it came time for her to come home he already had spent all her money(3weeks) it took him to go thru all her money, put her account in the hole at the bank, its just a mess. My siste is now going for guardianship of Mom which I support to the fullest. Mom is in the nursing home now due to my sister and I both have back injuries from work and cannot lift her. This is killing both of us now he keeps telling her is going to take her out of the nursing home to his "new" apartment he was to get long ago. He cannot make it financially without Moms checks is the only reason he wants her with him. He couldn't even afford to get her scripts when she got out of the hospital cause he spent all of her money. Is there someone who could help us and try to keep him away from moms checks each month. By the way he is her golden boy and would do no wrong in her book. She will tell you she has blocked what he has done then goes off into her own little world talking about crazy things and yes she has dementia. any help or answers for me?
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I'm not sure if you can use your mothers money for a guardianship that you are trying to get.It sounds illegal to me.
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I'm sorry to hear of your situation. Guardianship of a parent is a blend of Elder Law and Family Law and differs from state-to-state. Maybe by visiting the website below you can decide on some things before you contact an attorney for a consultation. Something this important should be discussed with an attorney in your governing area. Best of wishes.

http://www.clarkcountynv.gov/depts/public_guardian/Pages/TypesofGuardianship.aspx
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How do I start the possess of getting guardianship over my father
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Forget trying for guardianship. It's very time consuming, expensive and (court system) stressful. Go with what 'vstefans' suggested, however, most attorney's will not change someone else's (your mother's) legal document(s) without her signature/authorization. However, her attorney could explain to her that your concerns are valid and realistic. If she won't listen to you, she might listen to her attorney. Most POA's have a 'back-up' person written into them (surprised her attorney didn't counsel her on that at the time the papers were drawn up) and Wills should have alternate Executors. Without alternates - Wills can end up in Probate - especially if there are others named in the Will. Do you have any other siblings? Do you have a copy of the POA? And yes - as cmagnum indicated, you really should have a DPOA for financial AND medical purposes, along with a POLST (in California); DNR and Health Care Directive.
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Your right. However I nor my siblings have the money to go for guardianship at the prices I was quoted by two attorneys. I'm going to go this weekend to where my mom lives and take her back to social security to see if this can be resolved. My sense is my sister, who along with her husband, have plenty of $$ so if they want to go for guardianship I'll let them spend their $$ and I and other siblings will contest it. It's my belief my sister wants to take my mom to her house and as payback for childhood issues won't respect her wishes to die at home. It is evil in my opinion.
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@beechgirl...You may have gone to a law office where they do not understand Medicaid well. The truth is whether he transfers the deed to you or not, a home is not a countable asset and you are a "community spouse" in any event and they are supposed to leave you enough for the upkeep. If he did give the home to you, it could even be construed as gifting but that gets complicated. I take it he would not agree to sell if that was the best option for you?

I too was occaisonallly floored by some things requiring my Dad to sign even though he had no clue whatsoever what he was sigining. I was there and could tell lhim it was OK to sign, but it made no sense that I coudl not sign as POA instead.
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Maccheesy, this means your sister, as rep payee, gets control over the social secuitry check. You probalby can't afford NOT to lawyer up at this point. If Mom is competent, she is allowed to change her POA and could obviously be bamboozled into it - if I am reading this right, sis came in from out of state and took mom for an outing to the SSI office? Holly Cow, that's cheeky. Don't underestimate her and what she may do next if her goal is to steal from your mom. If you can document you have been handling her finances properly and sister did not, then you ought to be able to prevent that from happening.
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I am the POA for my 85 yr. old Mother. I have an older sister who's caused so many problems over the years I've taken the POA over. She was the previous one and my mom asked to have me because she is concerned my sister will not follow what she wants. My sister recently took my mom to Social Security and put herself as payee representative and made some serious allegations about my handling her money and caring for her. The POA in Illinois means nothing to SS so I need to appeal it. I just want my sister to leave us alone. She resides in another state and myself and 3 other siblings live in the state where my mom resides. None of us really have any money and it sounds like its pretty expensive to get guardianship. Any suggestions would be most helpful.
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helenb, talk with the nursing home social worker about working on your mother becoming a ward of the state since you cannot afford guardianship.

How long ago did your mother give you and your sister some money? Depending on if it was less than 5 years ago and how much it was, that gifting might come back to bite. I hope not.

Let us know how this works out.
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I recently had to put my mom in a nursing home.I am paying all of her bills and do have POA for her medical directives. While mom really doesn't have or own anything valuable she needed someone to direct her Social Security checks to the nursing home. My sister and I were both given money by mom months before getting sick and going into a home.My sister doesn't want to deal with the bill paying etc...and now I am having to pay many out of pocket expenses.I tried to get POA but the lawyer says I can't if my mom is not mentally capable of signing something.What do I do? I don't have enough money for the forms for guardianship.
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I recently had to put my mom in a nursing home.I am paying all of her bills and do have POA for her medical directives. While mom really doesn't have or own anything valuable she needed someone to direct her Social Security checks to the nursing home. My sister and I were both given money by mom months before getting sick and going into a home.My sister doesn't want to deal with the bill paying etc...and now I am having to pay many out of pocket expenses.I tried to get POA but the lawyer says I can't if my mom is not mentally capable of signing something.What do I do? I don't have enough money for the forms for guardianship.
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Thank you all for your answers. In the past four years almost nothing has changed. My mother has been actually pretty healthy but something is going on with her now. My original question was based on the fact that my brother had control of everything to do with mom and I was totally left out. Nothing has changed except me. I will not seek guardianship if he should die and she will have no one to pay her bills if he should do so tomorrow. Much bad blood has passed between us over the past four years but now things have just sort of settled into an uneasy peace. I think her health may be taking a turn for worse since she is going on 85. We will see. I just know that if my brother should not be able to take care of her business, she has no one else and I will not seek guardianship. I have explained to her numerous times the foolishness of being so paranoid and playing favorites. But that is her choice and we have a very poor relationship. It is what it is.
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Can 2 people have guardianship over our mother (two sisters)?
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My husband is in a nursing home , he is only 61 but has competency issues due to an injury combined with too much alcohol. The problem the psychiatrist says he isn't competent to transfer the deed to our home over to me. This must be done prior to the medicaid application going in. I cannot afford the upkeep as we don't reside together . They donot allow you to rent it. I t's paid off and we'd loose it. The nursing home has had him sign papers that they needed that only he could sign so they can get paid by medicare. If he is competent to sign those, I'm confused and afraid. The attorney which cost $250 to talk to only advice was to call the nursing home administrator and have him have the doctor chsnge the diagnosis.
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The trustees(my cousins) have kept my out of the loop with my fathers care,a lot of money is also unaccounted for .Elder abuse was called and my father is not able to make his wishes known what can i do?
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Perhaps I am misunderstanding, but your brother has POA and is the Executor of her will. While she alive he helps her pay her bills and helps her take care of her finances. I do not know if he has a durable power that is also good if person becomes mentally incompetent. When she dies, your brother as executor is responsible for taking care of her estate. I don't understand why guardianship is being talked about here.
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My father just passed away and my mother (89) has Alzheimer’s and is in assisted living for memory care. My father was my mother's POA and I was my father's POA. I have a medical POA for my mom that went into effect when my father passed but there is not a contingent POA for me to continue to handle my mom's finances. My mother is my father's beneficiary so she now owns everything solely but is incapable of handling any affairs. My father named me in his will to be appointed as executor of his estate and that process has started, but since my mom had joint accounts with my dad, I am unable to pay their bills with the money he has in the bank because my appointment ended with his death. Meanwhile the bills are piling up and I am unable to utilize their monies in the bank to continue to pay their bills as I have for them the past two years when my father took ill. My father's lawyer and probate court told me that I will need obtain guardianship (which according to the lawyer will cost approximately $4000.00) I cannot afford to pay this nor can I afford to take care of my mom's $3400 monthly rent at the facility in which she has resided for 5yrs. My mother owns 4 properties now and the bills need to be paid. I feel overwhelmed with the thought of the time that is going to take to get me the authority to continue taking care of my mother and handle her financial needs. I have 7 living siblings scattered across the nation, but I have solely been responsible for my parents for the 10 yrs. that they have lived in the same state with me. They have allowed me to take care of our parents, but I keep hearing that this could suddenly change when it comes to managing their money. I am in desperate need of advice. I will follow some of the advice of some of the posting, for example; contact the office of aging to see if I can obtain some direction. Has anyone been close to my situation?
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I applied for guardianship for my husband after 25 years of marriage, but his daughter also filed. I was told by the court that a court appointed guardian would be better because we do not get along. So I agreed. It has been 1 1/2 years and I am so unhappy with this arrangement. The guardian does not read my emails and does not return my phone calls. Can I have her removed or made to act in my husband's best interest? I would not recommend this to anyone.
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