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She lives alone. She doesn't take care of herself. Takes oxycontin regularly along with a myriad list of other medications. Also drinks alcohol every day. Doesn't eat right. Won't admit there is any problem. My brother lives nearby but she won't take help. Her Dr. won't speak to either of us because of the law and we are not listed on her HIPPA form. What do I do?? She is going to kill herself.

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You don't say how old your mother is, or why she got on oxycontin to start with, and what her medical condition is like. If she gave up alcohol and drugs and started eating right and exercising, would she be a well woman? Or would she still have cancer or dipolar disease or congestive heart failure, etc?

Other than refusing help, does she have a decent relationship with you and your brother?
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To jeannegibbs: She is 81 years old and had a mini stroke 6 years ago and was told she has "thalamic pain syndrome" where her brain is telling her that her arm hurts but there is nothing wrong with her arm. She was given the oxycontin for that pain. She has increasingly gone downhill since starting to us this drug. The drinking is what scares me the most. Oxycontin is the same as heroin. I've researched it. She doesn't communicate with my brother or myself much because whenever we show concern she gets angry and says everything is fine. She just visited me in Florida a month ago and was like a zombie in her own little world. The doctor just refilled the Rx the week after she got home. This seems like malpractice to me that a doctor wouldn't evaluate all the meds she's already taking for interactions. I feel helpless to do anything if she won't admit a problem.
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Write a letter to her doctor. He does not have to discuss her with you, but you can discuss her with him. Spell out your concerns very specifically in the letter. Write down all of your observations. That letter will become part of her medical record and the doctor will address your concerns; not with you, unless your mother gives permission, but he will address them with your mother. Also, if your mom is amenable to it, you or your brother can accompany her to an appointment and the doctor can talk to you in her presence.
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To: Isn'tEasy Give a Hug: My brother wrote a letter in great detail about our concerns in February 2012. He got no response. Then in my mother's last visit with the doctor in May she got another Rx for oxycontin so obviously the doctor has no concerns about this. I know she got the Rx because she told me. My mother refuses to allow my brother or me to accompany her to her doctor's appointment to discuss her meds. I told my brother to make an appointment and just take her and don't tell her where they're going but what is he supposed to do? He can't drag her out of the car to go to the appointment. We've tried pretty much everything so far.......thanks for your response.
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I'm not so surprised that you didn't hear from the Dr. He might feel that even responding to you is a violation of confidentiality. But, your brother's letter does constitute an official record of your concerns. I feel for you. You're in a really tough predicament. This ball is largely in your mother's court. However, if you feel that your mother is has become a danger to herself and others, you can ask for an Adult Protective Services assessment.
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I'm going through the exact same thing with my Mother. I wish I could be more help but I can't. I love my Mother but through the advice of a social worker was told to cut her out of my life. Since, I can't watch her kill herself she is only 57. She has been to the hospital many times for Over dosing on oxy's. However, her Dr. Still prescribes them. Frustrated yes, love her to death yes, watching her kill herself no. =(
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If anyone is still reading this thread: Oxycontin is NOT the "same thing" as heroin. That's like saying Coca-Cola is the same thing as cocaine. Heroin is a derivative of Oxycontin but before Oxy was around heroin was a derivative of morphine.
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Im going through a similar situation as well.... Before i started taking care of my mom she was very addicted to percoset and vicodin. She would even share it with her brother and son. I got involved and now her POA. Ive stopped all pain medications. Just last evening i found her taking Lyrica (pill used to treat a pain in her leg but dr stopped it because she was ver unstable) sheʻs on a whole bunch of other pills already. The best part is that i had this lyrica hiding in my cabinet upstairs in my room. She must of snooped in my room to get it. After questioning she denies knowing it was in her drawer, denies taking it but then found open wrappers in her walker bag. I dont know what to do but know i cant trust her alone in my home. What do i do? I dont know... Im her caregiver 24/7. Any advice?
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I hear you and others. Just msg me. I have more.
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