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My mother’s stepson took over all dad’s accounts including the checking account with my mom’s name on it. Police will do nothing since son has POA, which he forcibly obtained from his sick dad.


My mother had taken care of this man (that also has Alzheimer’s) all by herself for 13 years. Then the stress gave her memory issues as well.


My mom has run out of money and I cannot afford the costs. Her spouse is wealthy thanks to my mom's help.


I was told my mom cannot qualify for financial aide because she is married to someone that has lots of assets.


Every lawyer I talk to turns me away. When I try to get back what the stepson took from my mom, they say it’s too difficult and that the son has all the power due to his POA.


All I want to do is help my mom. She cannot afford to keep paying these high costs of assisted living. I sold her car and her house. Now I’m into my own savings. She is way too hard to deal with. I tried twice. They kicked her out of last place because of her crazy behavior. It’s like she had a psychotic mental breakdown after the stepson took away her husband.


I was basically told that if mom was not married she would qualify for aide, but since she is married they count the husbands income and assets. The son has totally used my mom for his own benefit. When she got some mild memory issues herself, he pounced like a snake and took all the money that was meant to go to my mom.



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Have you spoken to a divorce attorney or family law attorney? With your mother's dementia, would she even understand what she was signing?

You might have to shift your focus from what your stepson did at this point. I'm not clear where is your mom's husband in all of this? Are they legally separated? How can your stepson take away someone's spouse? were they not living together in their home?
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Hopiegirl Aug 2023
My mother’s husband has Alzheimer’s and he is in a locked memory care unit. His son took him there without telling my mother when he was discharged from rehab. He then would not let my mother see, talk, or visit her husband. I had to get attorney general involved. I even called police. I have called so many lawyers.

The stepson got poa over his dad while his dad was in rehab. Not sure how he pulled that off during the covid lockdown.

Mom cannot get any aide now because the stepson took over all his dad’s accounts. Since she is married she cannot qualify. Her husband has too many assets and annuities that stepson also hijacked and cashed out that were left to my mom.

So in order for to get help she will have to divorce him. My mom said she does not care because she has given up on life after what stepson has done. She is in assisted living. She cannot be left alone. Her memory now is terrible and she is delusional as well. It’s so sad. She was a strong woman. This destroyed her.
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Step-son is not Moms POA. You need an elder lawyer that will split Mom and Dads assets. She is at least entilted, IMO, to half the money earned during the marriage. POA for Dad, again my opinion, only covers half the assets. POA should be considering the spouse.
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I would think that you could file for divorce on her account, if she has been deemed incompetent.

POAs are supposed to keep good records of what money is spent on. If you go with the divorce, there should be financial disclosure on both sides which might shine a light on that scoundrel stealing money from his dad and your mom.

What a mess! Best of luck sorting things out.
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