Frustrated cook; My husband is refusing everything I make. Any suggestions?
My husband never enjoyed eating. I’m not a natural in the kitchen, but I can follow recipes and make very decent meals. Recently, though, I face an emotional crisis when I try to plan and execute dinner because too often what I make is refused. Even stuffed peppers, which was a favorite, is now refused. Why? Claims he just doesn’t want it, or says it’s too heavy to eat after just waking up (which is always because he now sleeps all the time). He used to prefer spicy, Indian dishes (as opposed to my go-to Italian favorites). But now if I make or buy them, they sit untouched and I have to toss it out after a few days in the refrigerator. He doesn’t like sweet or thick smoothies, which I tried for a while. He never liked ice cream, either. (Crazy, I know!)
I don’t know what to make, and now neither of us are eating enough. Breakfast is ok, but dinner is a daily struggle.
Background: poor teeth, kidney disease, diabetes, extreme fatigue, vascular dementia. He used to have a reduced sugar and sodium diet, but not anymore because the doctors are just happy if he eats. Oh, and those nutritional drinks like Ensure are not a hit with him.
smaller portions offered more often - a big plate can seem overwhelming so serve little portions on small plates and keep snacks available
think high value high calorie with everything you make - lots of butter and cream in mashed potatoes and custards, look for greek style high protein yogurts made with full fat milk and cream, cheeses, nut butters
With poor teeth he may do better with a soft diet, think of normal foods that are naturally easy to eat - well cooked pasta, risotto and rice puddings, sweet and savoury custards, mashed potatoes, soups and stews (almost any soup can be made thick and creamy with an immersion blender), polenta, refried beans, oatmeal or scrambled eggs for breakfast.....
Don't forget beverages - smoothies, juices, pop, beer
I offer that advice to you even though it didn't really work for us. Our loved one is just not interested in eating. The nurses suggest that this may just be the natural progression of the disease. Try not to worry. You can only make food available. As long as you are doing that, you're doing everything you can do for him.
If breakfast is what he eats give him breakfast for dinner. With Dementia the brain no longer tells them they are thirsty or hungry.
Preparing and then throwing out food is depressing, and so is feeding yourself on invalid food. You need to look after both of you. Very best wishes, Margaret
Get so tired of asking, accommodating only him. It is an ever changing situation.
At times I cook for him separately.
At other times I put h i s plate, covered, on the table, as I am eating alone mostly anyway. He has social anxiety and has a ritual before he can come to the table.
Announcing dinner has him running the other way.
He will always eat a salad.