My mother in law is 95 and diagnosed with dementia. She will eat for the caregiver, but if we try to feed her she holds the food in her mouth and refuses to swallow for long periods of time. She also refuses to take pills - we've tried adding them to applesauce or yogurt, crushing them into foods . . . but she'll take them for the caregiver. The problem is the caregiver is only there 6 days a week from 11-7, so we need to feed her breakfast, and the days she is off we need to get her to eat. My husband is convinced she wants us to help her die, but since she eats for the caregiver, I think he's wrong. Anyone have a suggestion?
They don't bother her too much and she seems to get the food in. When she was here, I watched her closely and when she stopped, I tried to fill in by feeding her.
Maybe that's the answer...let her pick at what she can at the table or her room alone.
I know that for myself and my mom I feel that insisting on eating is a real moral struggle - it is one of the few things they still have any control over and cajoling, bullying or tricking someone who is nearing the end of life to eat may not really be a kindness.
Therefore, if the caregiver is dressed in a uniform type garb, your Mom-in-law will see that caregiver like a nurse, as cwillie had mentioned above. Wonder if dressing like the caregiver does would help?
Does Mom-in-law indicate what foods she likes? I believe once a person had reached 95, if they want ice cream for breakfast you ask that person "one scoop or two". My own Mom was a fussy eater but oh how she loved pie, cake, muffins, cupcakes, ice cream, etc. As we age, we do tend to lose our sense of taste except for sugary foods.
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