My mother has not spoken about or asked about my father since he passed away. She has her own health issues and that occupies her day. She used to be his caregiver and was always on top of his care. She claims that I was closer to my father than I am to her. I think my father needed extra attention because his needs were greater than hers. Perhaps my mother is grieving in her own way, but to me it appears that she doesn't give him one thought. Has anyone had such an experience?
My deepest sympathies and condolences. I am sorry for your loss. I know grief affects us all differently. I do know of some people they can't even talk about it for fear it will make them emotional. It's very hard to say. I guess all you can do is tell her that you will be there to listen if she wants to talk or share memories. Keep checking on her and see how she is in the coming weeks and months.
I think it's very complicated; and I don't think it's for outsiders - perhaps especially not children! - to know what a marriage comprised, over all those years, for good or ill. Who's to say what is passing through your mother's mind? If she isn't talking, you can't possibly draw any conclusions.
So, where does that leave you? Do you have anyone else you can talk to about your Dad? Do you have anything else, besides her immediate care needs, that you can talk about to connect with your mother?