There was one plot of land left. Just according to the Cemetery here in Dallas, Texas, only family members can take it. Meaning blood family members not third wife of my dad who passed away many years ago. She buried a cousin, one plot remained. The one next to my little sister who passed away at 12 years of age in 1977. So that plot next to her remained open even with a tomb stone with a blank space to have the information written on it next to my little sister.
Sadly, my mother passed away a month ago. She was cremated just two days ago. Today being Thursday 071323 I decided to have her remains buried next to my sister her daughter thus taking up the last and only slot. I alerted my oldest half-brother of this. He flipped a lid and threatened me with legal action and who knows if he'll show up to Cemetery to cause a scene and disrespect me, my wife's family and friends of my mom last but not least, to disrespect my mom.
The second brother my mom’s full-blooded son has disowned her and made no contributions when my mom was deteriorating with LB Dementia, he even just flat out stops speaking to me because that woman my mom his mom is living with me, I'm taking care of my mother to the end, the end came.
So, my half-brother said, I needed his approval and the youngest brother approval as well. My half-brother actions spoke louder than thunder by his threat of legal action towards me for deciding to have my mom buried next to her only daughter, and of course my youngest brother who hates my/his mom I know where the vote is going.
So, I guess the question is, can they have the box my mom’s ashes are in and removed?
I think your brothers’ behavior towards you is atrocious.
Are you saying that the cemetery agrees with your half brother that the space is for family members by blood only?
My husband's family plots are in a small rural cemetery. His parents had their headstone engraved and in place years before they died. Both parents had hoped for large funerals with all the trimmings. Unfortunately, both died several states away from their "final destination". Their sons had them cremated and they simply buried those ashes, without an urn "discreetly" - without asking permission- by their headstone. The local stone engraver added the dates of their death to the headstone.
They will also be able to tell you who can be buried there.
I’m sorry you are dealing with this. Bury your mother. HUGS
BTDT
Who owned that lot? Was it in your Mom's and Dad's name? Because if you have legal powers for both before death and after, they would not, I think, be able to do a thing.
I would go to the cemetery itself for information. Ask them if the bros can interfere with a done burial. My guess is that they will have no power to do anything.
My condolences on your sad loss.
My mom was freaking out because she said that she made the mistake of selecting a metal casket for her sister instead of a wooden casket that would biodegrade.
Mom kept telling me to make sure that we didn’t bury my brother’s ashes on the side that my aunt’s metal casket was.
Anyway, at least here in New Orleans, a family plot means that all family members can continue to be buried in it. It doesn’t even matter who holds the deed. The way it was explained to me was that the family plot belongs to the entire family.
The man at the cemetery told me that they will do whatever is necessary in order to fit more urns or caskets, even if it meant digging up bodies, removing them from their caskets and so on.
Speak to the cemetery to get the specific regulations in your area.
Our area is unique in that we very much honor our dead. New Orleans cemeteries are very interesting.
Tell the brothers the date of the funeral, then hold it a week earlier. IF they show up, it'll be over and done with, or better yet, tell them their threats dissuaded you from burying your mom there and do it anyway.
Cemeteries are such a PITA. Two sets of my great-grandparents both bought four plots in the same cemetery -- two for them and two for a daughter and her husband. Neither daughter married, so there is an empty plot in each set. That cemetery gave me all sorts of flak about who could be buried there because there are now dozens of potential owners, none of whom have any interest in those plots except me. The original owners died in the early 1900s. I finally gave up trying to unwind it all.
I love your creativity! 😊
I agree with all of the answers here. My younger sister died in 2015 six months after dad's death in 2014. My dad and mom had purchased grave plots after my uncle died in 1980. Dad abandoned the family in 1983 to go live with his girlfriend. It was a messy situation. Mom died from cancer in 1988 and was buried in one of the plots they had purchased. So, there was one empty plot for dad that he didn't use. He and his second wife bought two plots several yards away from the first purchased set of plots he bought for him and my mother. During one of our conversations, he said that he was going to give my disabled younger sister that plot. When my sister died in 2015, she was buried in the plot that was designated for him. His second wife had to sign the release form at the cemetery to let the other plot go even though she was not the original owner of those two plots. I'm not sure how this actually worked at the cemetery, but I'm assuming the original deeds were on file at the cemetery and the grave had been paid for in advance.
I would call the cemetery to see who holds the actual deeds to the family plots and see what measures you need to take to have your mother interred.