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Mom will be discharged soon to my home and hospice for kidney failure and CHF. The past few days, she's been extremely uncooperative and mean, so unlike her. Dr. prescribed Depakote but so far it has only made her a bit groggy.

Is this a stage that will pass? Frankly, I'm not sure I can care for her full-time in this condition. She's throwing things and cursing everyone, has removed all her lines and cath multiple times and spat out her meds.

Anyone have experience with this? I hate the thought of SN for her. She only has a month or so of time left, doc said, and I'd rather she be with us at home.

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Has a geriatric psychiatrist seen her? Depakote is a mood stabilizer;ativan is for anxiety. There are a bunch of other drugs they could try. Seroquel or another of the antipsychotics might be indicated. Why is it they don't want her to be too groggy? She's dying, yes? I think I might want to be groggy for that. I can't imagine untrained caregivers taking this on. If she needed to be gotten to the doctor, how would you accomplish that? A good snf with hospice and you there quite a bit for the next 6 weeks is my thought
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Don't know if it will pass or not but option may be for hospice care in a nursing home. If shes going to be difficult and unhappy being at home won't change this. Can you deal with a month or more of this kind of intensive care?
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Since she has kidney failure, the behaviors may continue. Is she on dialysis? Of does she still have enough kidney function to go without it. I think you need to take an honest look at how it would impact your family and for how long. If you think it would be tolerable, then you could try bringing her home. If it would be too hard, you could look into better options. So much depends on your household and how many people would be available to help. It also depends on if you have children who might be traumatized by her behavior. Let us know what you decide to do. It is a difficult situation. What I hope is they can find some way to calm her and make life more pleasant for her and for you.
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You have such a good attitude, 2ndGenLiz. I can tell you want whatever is best for her. Fingers crossed that things go as well as possible. If she does come home with you, do you plan on calling in hospice? It may make things a lot easier on you if you do. Don't let that distressing thread we have running on the group dissuade you. There are many good hospice organizations out there. Maybe you can ask your mother's doctor to recommend a good one if it will make life easier for you. Hospice is covered completely by Medicare.
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Jessiebelle, you read my mind, lol. Distressing is right! Yes, she would be on hospice and it's the same nursing staff she's been seeing for home health care, so no interruption in service or personnel. We have a good working relationship with this group. The hospice nurse has assured me that we can try different meds in differing amounts to help her be more calm without her being 'doped up'.

We've decided, for now, to bring her home with hospice care. We aren't too far from a SN home that we've used in the past for my MIL, so if the home care just isn't enough for mom, we have a nearby alternative.

Thanks, everyone, for the input. I'll keep you all posted...Liz
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No, no dialysis, not a candidate. Caregivers would be me and my retired hubby, occasionally our grown daughter and possibly my sister who has serious health problems of her own. So mainly me :-)

Good points, and thank you for them. Im trying to weigh all the options in the short time span before she's discharged. They've given her Depakote instead of Ativan as they don't want her too sleepy - but at least she wouldn't be throwing ice at the nurses if she was asleep.

I was really hoping this part was temporary as I'd like to have her home. Waiting to speak to the social worker now. Poor momma.
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