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My sister is the executrix and POA for Dad, who is 93 and Mom, who is 89. Both have several health problems and various stages of dementia. We were a large family of seven children, but we have lost three of us in the last decade. One of my brothers has been particularly troublesome to us with my Mom's finances, she's always paying his mortgage and giving him money and her household items whenever he asks, even though my mom has been worried about her finances. Their house is payed for and they are getting worse by the day and will not sell the house and go into Assisted living. Things have been hard on their caregivers, (my sister and I) and it's hard to see their assets siphoned off by my do-nothing brother. If we can get proof of what is happening, can his part of the will be adjusted for what he has already taken?
Thanks, Barb

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No. Only the folks can change their wills and only if they are competent. Folks need to stop making monetary gifts to bro, POA may be able to control that. Those monetary gifts will make them ineligible to receive Medicaid, when and if needed, until all gifts in the past five years have been repaid. Time for POA to take control over the situation, but if folks would still be considered competent, they have the right to make their own bad decisions.
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Can his part of the will be adjusted...

"Adjusted" By Whom?

By your father and your mother, individually, if their respective dementias are not too advanced, yes.

By anyone else, no.

Your sister, if she is exercising her POA and your parents are deemed to be mentally incompetent, is responsible for what happens to their money meanwhile. If your mother is not incompetent, she must at least keep track of where the money is going and she must be made aware that if she continues to give your brother money she may render herself ineligible for Medicaid and in serious trouble if she then can't afford to pay for healthcare.

So - who is addressing this issue with your brother? Anyone?
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Isthisrealyreal May 2020
Actually CM you are not responsible in the USA, unless a court of law has deemed them incompetent. It is a terrible situation for POAs to be in, but they can not stop a person from spending their money how they want. (SSA representative payee is the exception to this. )

They can however stop providing free services that allow the elderly person to believe that they have it to give away. Make them hire the care required.
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If you and your sister are their caregivers, what's going to happen when they need more and more help? Are you or your sister going to take them in? Are you or your sister going to move in with them to become their fulltime caregivers?

This gifting to your brother will be a problem if Medicaid eligibility becomes necessary.

Hey, I have an idea...have your brother do the caregiving instead of you and your sister! And if/when they need it, have HIM move in with them or take them into HIS home.

You and your sister are on the way to total enslavement if the POA sister doesn't get this under control. (Is the POA sister the one who shares caregiving with you?)
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