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My mom is 101, and suffers from chronic pain due to osteoporosis and arthritis. I am her only caregiver, and she lives in my home.
She is only able to sit/lay in one position because her spine is twisted so badly. Her doctor says that hospice care is available for someone in her situation. Right now I am able to move her by wheelchair from her bed to a chair to help relieve pressure on her spine, butt, and ribs. She is also still able to feed herself, and has no incontinence issues, hence no adult underwear is needed. She is able to use her bedside commode with my help. She does not have alzheimers/dementia, so knows the time will come when she won't be able to function as before, and I will no longer be able to help her as I have.
My fear is that if hospice becomes involved, it will just speed up her decline, and I hate to take that final step. I also understand the necessity of having help to address issues that I can not deal with, and to give my mom the care she needs and deserves.
Any thoughts or comments would be appreciated!

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Hospice care in my experience can greatly enhance Quality of life, pays for some Rx and supplies, provides good symptom control. It does Not need to mean a shorter life.
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kathyy1--
I am so sorry for your loss---and DO NOT beat yourself up over giving mom morphine to ease her pain in her last days. I am sure she is happier being out of pain. I gave my sweet, sweet daddy as much as he asked for. Not one day have I questioned the right or wrong of my choice. What you say were normal parts of the dying process....hard as it is to watch, would you have wanted her to have one more hour or day of that kind of pain? Take time to grieve and don't make yourself sick over choosing to relieve her pain. Hospice people are well versed in knowing just what to do. I have had nothing but the utmost respect for their help.
I am sorry you are hurting.
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Hospice would only come in if your mom had a terminal diagnosis and was told by a physician that she had 6 months or less to live. Medicare, who pays the bulk of hospice care, has gotten very strict about that. She probably could qualify for Palliative Care without a 6-month diagnosis and she would receive much the same care except for having her medications covered by Medicare. However, she would still not get 24/7 care. You would still have to do the bulk of her care.

I just want to say, God Bless your mom---101 and still alert and oriented. She must be an amazing woman. Talk with her and find out what she wants. She seems to be aware of the situation, so let her tell you what she wants. You sound pretty amazing yourself, and a very loving child. Good luck on finding what you both desire and need.
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Hospice is not limited to people thought to have "only six months to live." My husband has been in hospice care for several months now. He has a progressive neurological disorder for which there is no treatment other than medication that may or may not alleviate some symptoms. There is no recovery possible. The goal is to keep him comfortable. The way in which hospice care might "hasten the end of life" is that they cannot intervene to save his life. This is consistent with the directive he signed several years ago which says, in the event of a terminal or irreversible condition, to keep him comfortable and allow him to die as gently as possible. Sometimes, when the facility sends him to the ER to be stitched up after a fall, the hospital will admit him. Then we have to sign him out of hospice so Medicare will pay and sign him back in when he gets out.
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I agree with Sunny5, hospice is not for everyone. My experience with hospice for Mom was the same. I would not suggest these people because they will have you believing your love one needs harsh drugs to make her comfortable and it will shorten her life. Enjoy your Mom as best you can without "Hospice" and ask her what she would like, after "she is in her right mind" and deserves that RESPECT. NO HOSPICE unless you're ready to lose the most PRECIOUS person in the universe. God Bless U and MOM
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Dragonbait-- The person coming into Hospice needs a diagnosis from a doctor of 6 months or less, that is a national requirement, but once someone is in and they continue to qualify, they can be in as long as they live. We had one patient who was in for 3 years because she still qualified.

GrandmaLynn5-- Perhaps your mom is on Palliative Care which is also offered by local Hospices. You don't need a terminal diagnosis for that. Also, no Hospice should be religiously based. They all have Chaplains, but we are trained to be ecumenical, interfaith, or even non-faith.

Anonymous44- Hospice in NO WAY hastens a person's death, nor do we push for harsh drugs. The purpose of Hospice is to make a person as comfortable as possible such as providing a hospital bed or wheelchair or bedside potty or diapers or a CNA to help bath the patient or do some minor house cleaning or make a meal Hospice does nothing the patient or family does not want. I am sorry you seem to have had a bad experience with Hospice, but many others have not. It has helped them!
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At 101, you must be ready to see you poor suffering mother go---we had daddy on hospice for pain alone, I'm sure he was "in hospice care" for more than 6 months. Pain is so debilitating and at age 101, are your worried about addiction? I hope not! Keep mom as comfortable as possible with whatever you can. Dad's last few days consisted of morphine drops around the clock and I personally am grateful he died peacefully. Hospice is very respectful of the patient's and family's wishes. That was my experience. Keep your sweet mom out of pain, please!
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Call Hospice.
They will NOT speed decline.
They will provide medications to help relieve pain and discomfort.
They will provide supplies
They will provide a hospital bed if needed, lifts if needed, shower chair, commode if needed.
What they will require is that medications for the "terminal" illness be discontinued. Example if a cancer patient is getting chemo, that needs to be discontinued however they will not require a diabetic to give up insulin.
What you will find is that the person admitted to hospice will be more comfortable, it is possible that 2 things may happen.
The person my seem to get better for a while, this is due to the increased attention and help provided by hospice.
Once the person is relaxed and out of pain they can comfortably pass. So it may seem like death is hastened but it is the relaxed, final stage. Think of it this way if a person has a great deal of difficulty breathing and drugs are given to relax muscles to breathing is more easily accomplished so a good sound sleep is finally able to take place. It may seem like "they are drugged" but it is really a phase of the body shutting down. The body is reserving energy to do as few functions as possible to keep the brain and core going. So a person will sleep more and with the help of medications muscles can relax so limbs are not tense, breathing is easier.
I urge you if you have any questions about Hospice call them and ask if they will come and evaluate your Mom. They can explain what they do and what they do not do.
And most important you can always request that Hospice withdraw. So if you are not pleased with the care or if you have reservations you can drop Hospice at any time.
As you can see I LOVE my Hospice team and I would not be able to do this journey without their love, care and support.
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Alifay55, regarding Hospice, Hospice is only called upon if a doctor says the patient has only a few months to live... that doesn't sound like the case for your Mom.

I know it came be difficult to care for an elder when you yourself are probably a senior citizen yourself. We no longer have the energy or the strength to care for our parents like we did in the past. Thus, Mom might need a paid caregiver to help her out. Or Mom could move to a continuing care facility where she would get around the clock care.

Hospice does not give 24-hour care. Hospice will send out nurse/aide once or twice a week to check in on the patient, take blood pressure readings, etc. to report back to the Hospice physician. There might be an Aide who can come in to help bathe Mom. There might be a volunteer who comes in just to sit and chat with Mom. You will still need to do the bulk of the care, unless you hire a caregiver.
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When hospice came into my dad's life everything changed I told them i don't want him on a bunch of drugs they told me he didn't need any of his vitamins anymore and that they asked my dad what he wanted they told me they are there to make him feel comfortable and it was up to him they were giving him too much I wished he never had hospice come in 89 years old never needed drugs before they came to help him he declined very guick
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