Dream or hallucination?
Dad (93 and lives alone five hours away) and I talk every night around 7:00. Several times over the last few years (mom passed in 2020), he has told me that mom was in the room, or that people are in the house that won't answer him, or that a little girl is in the bathroom crying and he can't get anyone to come help her, etc. I have been figuring these were very vivid dreams and he was having trouble shaking himself out of (assuming my phone call had awakened him although he denied being asleep).
My nephew picked him up last Sunday at 10:00 to take him to his sister's funeral three hours away. Jeffrey told me that when he got there, dad said that Dolores (my mom) had been in the house and they had been talking. He was certain that dad was very much awake. Dad was very much convinced that mom had been there. Hearing from an "eyewitness" gives me pause and makes me wonder if dad is having hallucinations, not dreams.
Add to that, he has more and more difficulty carrying on conversations because he can't find the right words and speaks a whole paragraph to convey one little phrase. He is fully aware that he is doing this. He finds it frustrating.
I'm wondering if a call by me to his pcp is warranted. I try hard to not "parent" my father, but maybe the doc needs to know abou this.
5 Answers
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1. Side effects from a medication or combo of meds?
1a. Corollary of that--is dad taking his meds correctly?
2. Is this a symptom of a new neurological condition, like Parkinson's or Dementia with Lewy Bodies?
3. (The big one). Is Dad still safe living at home alone?
GG, given that your own husband is quite ill and can't be left alone, I would contact dad's doctor and ask the best course of action.
If your dad doesn't seem bothered by them I would just leave well enough alone.
And I can only imagine that he gets great comfort in talking to his dead wife, so why would you want to take that away?
My late husband prior to his death was seeing and talking to dead people quite a bit, and I myself took comfort in that, as I knew that there were people on the other side waiting for him to cross over.
So perhaps you need to change your perspective on this issue and instead take comfort that your dad too has others waiting for him on the other side.
Mom had Parkinson’s and dementia. I listened to her stories about this child. They were fascinating. She told me that this girl told her not to be afraid and that she would be with her until the end of her life.
I spoke with the hospice nurse in Mom’s lovely end of life care home. The nurse said that Mom loved talking with her about this child and she said many of her patients have spoken about seeing other people.
You can contact the doctor through the Patient Portal if you have access to it. I would also let the doctor know about any other concerns you have or anything else that you have noticed, no matter how small or insignificant it seems.
It could be notion or it could be something. (the something to be determined..)
Hallucinations can be frightening or they could be pleasant. (Talking to his wife might make him feel good, worrying about a child crying in the bathroom cold be upsetting)
Hallucinations can be caused by many things. Finding the cause is important when it comes to finding a medication that will help.