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I went to visit my 91 y.o. mother with alzheimers/dementia and other physical ailments. She currently is a resident of Delaware. She resides in my brother's home and she has 24 hour caregivers which are paidfrom my mother's funds. My brother has POA. I discovered that my visit with my mother in her bedroom without anyone else present was both filmed and recorded. I did not give permission and given my mother's condition, I sincerely doubt that she gave permission either. Does anyone have any thoughts concerning my brother's belief that he has the right to film all that goes on in her bedroom given he has her POA? He also has his housekeeper sign for mail restricted to my mother using my mother's name. Thanks, Chad

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I'd be curious to know the legalities of that. As sole caregiver and POA for my mom, and with knowledge that my sibling has misused her authority as executrix of my dad's estate, I would be inclined to record any visits that my sibling made with mom for both mom's protection and mine, unfortunately she doesn't visit mom, so it's a mute point for me.
However, I certainly understand and PRAISE your brother's decision to record your mom under 24 hr paid caregiver's care.
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POA or not--to my way of thinking this sounds very sick, what your brother is doing, unless these are survelence cameras to see how the caregivers are acting??--Your Mom deserves privacy and respect...If this were me I would report this incodent to an eldercare organization, or even better to the Alzheimer's Association-as they have a legal department and can probably point you in the right direction. The helpline # is (800) 272-3900.
As for the housekeep signing for your Mom's restricted mail--I am not sure if that is legal-your postal department would know-as well as the legal department of the Alz Assoc.
Best to you in finding your answers.
Hap
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I'm not an attorney, but that just doesn't sound legitimate! If you go back to visit I would ask that it be turned off! He may have it on to be sure the caregivers are not ripping your mother off or hurting her! Otherwise I would have to believe he is very paranoid & controlling! He would have no excuse to film you on your visit, but he might say that he had it on because of strangers he has in and out of the home & forgot to turn it off! What did he say was his reason? M from Illinois
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I can appreciate your thought. You as the actual caregiver and the experience with your sister are different from my issue. I question both the legal and moral issue of recording my visit with my mother. I contend that a son or daughter, whoever, has the right to expect privacy when visiting with the parent in the parent's bedroom. My brother has the POA and it is he who has likely been less than right in his acquisition of my mother's assets. He has the power, I do not. I am but a visitor whose visit with his mother was recorded without permission. His actions seem to be out of his desire to control. I can't believe that a POA gives that right. I guess intent is critical. But, doesn't the elder have some right or dignity. At the very least, my brother and others unknown should not have a film of my mother without clothing.
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i do agree that you have every right to your privacy when spending time with your mom, Absolutely.
But as her POA and Primary Caregiver, your brother has a legal and moral obligation to protect her from anyone, and since she has 24 hr caregivers coming in, I don't see why or how anyone could argue with 24 hr monitoring.
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I'll fully admit that when my mom has visitors, I keep a very close watch on things. I don't record, although I have considered it, but i do go so far as sitting close enough to hear what is being said even as her CNA bathes her. That being said, I also make sure that when the nurse or doctor or home health Social Worker are here, I make a point of leaving the room and giving them time and privacy to discuss any problems mom might want to discuss about anything, including me.
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I am so sorry I think this is horrible. Who is filming, is it a security camera. Stinks but you may have to take legal actions. Do you have a copy of the POA? The housekeeper shouldn't be signing anything, talk to the postmaster and ask them. Is your Mom alert enough to sign for her own mail, I think you can send a restricted registered mail where no one else but her can sign, and if you recognize her signature you can make a compliant there. I think it's illegal to mess with someone else's mail. If she's unable to do this, then the POA kicks in but I definitely think filming isn't included.
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NannyCams, or Grannycams are fairly common and In the right situation, I believe, are a good idea.
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Ted, I'm glad to see you give your Mom privacy but stay in hearing distance. I just lost my mom 90 on Friday. She was in an assisted living and then a nursing home on morphine within a week. We knew she was terminal but never expected the quick demise. The nannycam could be there in place for the strangers who take care of her. Is it visible to you (I would think not). Maybe you could take your Mom into another room.

With all that I've been through the last few weeks (with five siblings) I can tell you that the best thing is to get along, it's hard to have someone else in charge but when it comes right down to it, I'm sorry to say you'll be relieved of the responsibility. My mom gave control to my two younger sisters and it didn't sit right with my eldest, causing all sorts of conflicts and unnecessary stress for me since I was then the go between. I needed my sanity and absolutely refused to do this. Talk to your brother and maybe he'll agree to let you have more privacy with your Mom. Good luck and God Bless.
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the whole thing with the mail is a completely different story, could be it's just more convienient but it is absolutely wrong. As POA, Yes, he can sign for her mail WITH HIS SIGNATURE and "POA" after it. but no one can sign any one else's name to any thing.
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Seriously, in my situation, from time to time I've thought of cameras to help protect me from false accusations.
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Oh what a good thread. I absolutely DO have cameras in my home and its for my Moms safety, suggested by our accountant who is a Trustee for several families who have caught bad actions of caretakers who have had background checks, etc. I have seen my caretakers leave my mom alone in a room and go in another room and text their friends for 20 minutes, spend 7 minutes in the bathoom with her saying they showered her, and then on their phones again as she has coffee with no breakfast. I do Not have a camera in the bathroom for everyone's privacy, but I have heard her scream in there from the kitchen camera. Cameras, Nanny Cam's are for the safety of children and the elderly. As far as siblings, if they dont like it, they can take her out , or they shouldnt be saying anything wrong but they do. My sister called my Mom a Bitch behind her back one day and my camera caught it, this is the wonderful nurse sibling who just loves mom so much that she visits her 3-4 times a year. One time she was asking my mother why she didnt give her any money! yes, we have the right , and we earn the right as caretakers, its our responsibility and I hope if I am ever alone with a caretaker when I am old, my family has a camera on us also. Whats the problem here, no one should have any worries unless they are saying the wrong things. Maybe a legal expert should chime in here.
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Actually, that's a great idea, I wonder if the website would consider enlisting some legal types to do some pro bono work here when we have dilemmas and questions like this. Maybe they could be on live one or two nights a week for a couple of hours to answer questions as best they can.
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Chad--you seem to have some very good reply's on this issue---Perhaps I was too quick to respond about the camera's---However---if it is indeed for the protection of your Mom-from what the caregivers may or may not be doing-I then think it is quite understandable--So I guess in the big picture-you need to ask what the purpose of the camers are. Caregiving can be very tiring and trying on many people---been there-and done that, So before taking any action, I would confront your brother on this.
As for the situation on the restricted mail signed by a housekeeper-I would still persue the legality of this as I had indicated previously.
Your concerns I think are very real-and need to be addressed-so you can move on.
Best~
Hap
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Just make sure any steps you make are for your mother's benefit and not yours, she's your main concern. You got some good answers here. Write the editor and see if you can get any where with extra help.
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I know, but unless specified for her signature, the post office allows someone else to sign for them, like if you got a package sent to your neighbors, they would sign for you. Check with the postmaster.
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I am just curious, why would it be for anyones benefit other than the parents we are caring for? I do hope legal authorites make a comment here too.
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I was my own mother's power of attorney/ I followed all the legal laws that are in effect. NO one has the right to be filmed, and your brother does not have the right to have anyone sign for her. A caregiver means a person who respects the person wishes and gives that person the care and diginity they deserve. I was chosen by my own mom and followed her wishes. The only one I could not follow was when she got so sick with the dementia, and in and out of hospital her last years. I could not bury the way she wished. I brought her to Florida from New York, to live with me. I took her out of a NY nursing home of which her doctor placed her. Not knowing how bad she was. I was very lucky I looked for a assistig living before all plans were done in case I needed day care. I found a beautiful place in Florida and was bless with good caring people. She had a nice room/good food/ but she had to stay 24/7. she became too mean for me to handle. My mom was always checked on both the State of Florida edler care people. you need to call elder care first. make visits, don't tell anyone you are coming at different times. You must have a key or pass. But get with a lawyer and have him check out things. My own brother abused my mom for years from he was leaving off her jumping from woman to women has a grown man. I stoped that, and also the lawyer who wrote up her will took care of that in the durable power of attorney /legal heath care giver/ I was legal rep and only one on her will. She did all of this before she was ever and I was working with a company that paid most of the cost. Please don't wait long, take care of the problem you seem like you care vey much what is going on. But like another person stated he is the legal power of attorney. But is he the Durabkle power of attorney. There is a differnce in most states.
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Are you telling us that taking the best care possible of our parents ot spouses by using a nanny cam isnt showing respect, because thats for their safety. My moms wishes would to remain independent but if she could understand the situation she certainly would want this safety precaution in place, as would I. Putting your mother in a home, you cannot possibly understand what its like to have strangers in your house. Wether the CNA has a background check in place or not, you cannot trust anyone not to hurt, or neglect your parent. This IS gviving respect and dignity to our parent . I could have put my mom in a home years ago due to her severe mood swings but I keep her home, where she is safer, and more loved. I also work fulltime when she is at daycare, also on a Cam, and my second job is to pick her up after work and take the best care of her as I can for as long as she lives, she is spoiled and its well deserved for being such a great Mom to me before I married 30 years ago. I would have no problem if anyone I knew had a nanny cam on, as I have nothing to hide.
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I have seen news programs where care workers have been convicted in court for abuse caught on secret cameras. I assume if they were illegal, that evidence would not have been admitted in court
also, I have posted the question to the "experts" in the section of this site labeled "Legal". I'd like to get a definitive answer.
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also, as any caregiver knows, sometimes the dignity and privacy of EVERYONE in the house is secondary to the proper care of the care recipient.
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I have never used a camera, but I did record my mother's phone calls years ago, which, at the time, could have caused legal problems. Mom had Alz and sweepstakes companies would call her and tell her she won if she would send $1000. I had POA over her finances, so when she would write a check in an amount over $500, I would put a stop payment on it. Also, I would not enable by not buying stamps. When she broke her back and had to go to a facility for rehab, since she was living in my home, I changed the phone number to an unlisted one and added her to by PO box. That took care of the sweepstakes problems. Currently I have an aunt with several caregivers. I leave no money in her apartment and her meds are not out in the open. The aids are not permitted to use her phone or theirs or text or anything like that while on the job. I stop in all the time while they are there, just to make sure things are OK. The only thing any of them do is to talk to her of their personal lives, which they are not permitted to do, but they get their work done, so that is what counts.
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I am sorry to say that I also told my caregivers no texting or being on the phone while driving, etc and not to talk to daycare about anything regarding her, thats up to me. I have told them not to leave her unattended for a minute as she could fall, guess what the cameras show? They do all of the above, but still do a great job and good help is hard to find.
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LME, I had problems also with various phone scams that prey on the elderly and the best thing I did was to cahnge the phone numbers (More than once) and change the address by getting a PO BOX.
But back to the original question;.
Privacy? good. Cameras?, good also.
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No. No one has the "right" to film another person in their bedroom under any circumstance, except if there is suspicion that a crime is being committed.
Call the local police and report your brother. A POA does not grant this type of behavior. Guardianship MAY give a guardian rights, but not filming a person in their own bedroom.
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Great responses and lotsa great ideas. I checked with the post office concerning someone else signing for restricted mail to my mother using her signature and was told the standard procedure is to check the receiver's signature and if the actual addressee is not available after several attempts, the mail is returned. The postal inspectors and the postmaster were not helpful. They refused to take any action, telling me that I could get an attorney if I wished.
I appreciate all the thought provocative thoughts concerning the issue of filming the elder and their visitors. My gut really says it is wrong to do so without any approval. I have found that some states require both parties to agree and others just require the agreement of one. And there are federal issues requiring some modicum of approval. The POA might be able to approve for the elder which would indicate that the elder can't make decisions for themselves. And, that enters into other legal concerns because they are no longer considered of sound mind. There are laws concerning wiretapping and filming without permission. And, there is the presumption that places like one's bedroom are considered private and should not ordinarily be invaded. I don't doubt that there can be good reason to monitor but what are the controls in place to do it right and within the laws of the jurisdiction. As long as we are human even through burial, privacy is kinda sacred and should be protected. I can see that exceptions might exist but those should be within the laws of the jurisdiction. All on this site have the elder needing care in their best interest. We want to do the right thing. Sometimes, we just need some advice and perhaps support. Thanks
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Exactly , "unless there is suspicion" and there is ALWAYS suspicion when caretakers are in the house . EVeryone is making it sound like there is personal issues in a bedroom, this is for a child or elderly demented person whose caretakers need to be watched. As far as the bathroom where personal issues are taken care of, there is no camera in there, that I understand. I have also seen on TV news stations people robbing homes that had cameras and Nanny's that were hitting children caught, its not illegal and for the safety of the patient.
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Chad, Good research, I'm a little surprised this hasn't come up before and been fully researched. I guess it is one of those situations where there isn't any black and white answer and would depend alot on presumption and all the other variables, and of course there will be a wide variety of plain old opinions.
I still haven't seen a response from the LEGAL section of this site, maybe we're breaking new ground here?
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Okay, Just got a response from LEGAL-'Mindingourelders' wrote;
"There may be state laws that come into play, here. I'd ask an elder law attorney or some attorney who knows your state laws.
You should be able to, but in some states you may not.
Be safe - especially if you have a bad relationship with siblings.
Carol"

I can see where it would have heavy jurisdiction implications.
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That is not right. Your mother deserves privacy. Her dressing and bathing should not be filmed. Caregivers and mother must be made aware of this situation...so they can ensure her privacy. Caregivers would be a little uneasy about the filming, but would also be careful to not do anything unappropriate because of it. They would then be able to ensure your mothers modesty.
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