Follow
Share

Mom wears hearing aids (volume can be adjusted and sometimes that is the issue but not always). It seems that I must get her total attention before speaking. That's ok when I am wanting to start up a conversation. However, when I don't get her attention and just want to make a comment of some sort (about the TV program or ask a quick question) and we are in close proximity, she almost always responds with "what?". I am so tired of repeating myself that sometimes I resort to "never mind" because it's not that important. I am totally frustrated! I would appreciate positive suggestions of how to help this dance.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
When my Mom got her hearing aids, the staff mentioned that people sometimes have trouble sorting through multiple sound sources.

Try signalling to her that you are about to say something so she can shift her focus to you and be ready to listen. Can you pause the TV? Maybe preface your comment with "Hey Mom I have a quick question," so that "What?" is the correct response.

They offered accessories for the hearing aids that included a device for someone else to wear that sends their voice into the hearing aid directly so that it had a better chance of standing out from competing sounds.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report
jolobo Jan 2021
Hi, I never heard of this device before, do you have any other information because I can't find anything about them online?
(0)
Report
See 2 more replies
My Mom's hearing has been getting worse, I see it in the what? Or beg pardons,

Not that ahe recognizes or admits that. With her dementia, Im not sure that trying to do hearing tests or hearing aids would go well.

She is in Memory Care now, but when she was with me alot of our conversations went
Me " Blah..."
Mom " What?"
Me " Blah.." but louder
Mom" you dont have to yell!"
Me: sigh and look at her and wait for her to answer the question
Mom: " do you need something?"
Repeat steps above......

Masks have been challenging, I think she was relying on facial cues alot; not realizing it, and it does muffle voices somewhat.

A hand on her arm to get attention. Speaking clearly and slowly. Wait to let her process, dont speak a paragraph at one time or aak multiple questions. But thats more the dementia not the hearing. They cant process much at a time. Ive had to learn to slow my speech.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report
Photogal425 Jan 2021
I’m still in transition of her move-in. What an adjustment! Thank you for your great suggestions.
(0)
Report
Both of my grandparents and some of my patients wear hearing aids. Here are a few suggestions:

Make sure to face the person. Sometimes the hearing aid can't catch sounds from behind as well as folks with unaided hearing.

Check batteries if it seems like the "what did you say" is happening a lot.

Make sure you mom wears her hearing aids whenever she is awake. The nerves for hearing need stimulation. If hearing aids are not worn, those nerves tend to deteriorate until the person does not hear at all.

Make sure ears are getting cleaned since built up ear wax interferes with hearing.

Just as folks get annual check-ups, dental check-ups, and vision check-ups - make sure that hearing and hearing aids get regular checkups as well.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report
earlybird Jan 2021
Taarna offers very good advice. My mom wears hearing aides and is almost deaf without them. I find sometimes I need to repeat and then I check the batteries and need to replace them. The hearing aides have a reminder to change them but my mother and I do not hear it. I put an orange sticker on the calender every two weeks and that works well.
(0)
Report
See 1 more reply
My first thought since you say that she wears hearing aids, is that she is perhaps starting to have trouble understanding the spoken word. It's called aphasia. My husband had that after having a massive stroke, and it only got worse as he got older. It can be very frustrating when you have to keep repeating yourself, but if that's what it is, she can't help it. Might want to look into that. Best wishes.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Sometimes I think saying "What?" is just automatic. My mother says it constantly, and if I say never mind, she suddenly heard what it was I said to begin with.

Hearing loss is one of the most difficult things to deal with, I know. My mother refuses to get hearing aids & has had increasing hearing loss for 7 years now. Sometimes I find myself yelling to be heard, and then she'll ask why I'm yelling. Just for FUN mom, why else?

I once took her to the ENT doctor who pulled a plug of wax out of her ear the size of a quarter. Her hearing improved for about 3 months afterward. That was it. Then he prescribed Debrox to be put into her ear to dissolve the wax on a weekly basis. Not sure which was worse, in her opinion, the hearing loss or the application of the Debrox.

Sometimes, when I call her (she lives in a Memory Care ALF), she's mistakenly turned down the volume on her cordless phone & she can't hear a single word I'm saying. So I have to scream at the top of my lungs for her to TURN UP THE VOLUME ON THE PHONE. Which sometimes works, but not always.

When we go over for a window visit every Sunday, she's on a landline phone & we're on my cell phone set to speaker. She has the handset positioned at her neck instead of her ear, so she can't hear a word we're saying! We tell her about 100x to move the handset up to her ear, which she does for about 10 seconds, then moves it back down to her neck area.

The joys of hearing loss combined with dementia are endless for all concerned.

I hope you can get your mother's situation figured out. If not, wishing you the best of luck holding onto your patience.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report
Photogal425 Jan 2021
Thank you. And good luck to you too.
(0)
Report
My mom has horrible wax buildup and her hearing aid must be cleaned every week.

My mom only has one hearing aid because her other ear cannot be helped with a hearing aid.

With my mom. it isn’t always the volume but the speed at which someone is speaking. Try speaking slower.

I discovered that my mom was reading lips as well so facing your mother may help too.

It is frustrating having to repeat. Sometimes I would write things down about certain things such as, “Coffee or tea? White bread or whole wheat? Ham or turkey?”
Helpful Answer (3)
Report
Photogal425 Jan 2021
Speak slower yes! She did tell me that once. Thank you
(1)
Report
Mother and aunt have poor hearing. I have found that eye contact is imperative before starting a conversation ( both have dementia).
Aunt wears hearing aids, mom needs but with covid has not been able to be tested and fitted for aids.
Cadence of your voice and tone is very important. If they fail to understand me I find different words to convey the same thought. This does often help and be aware of background noise like the TV, a fan or whatever.
Be patient because conversations are so important. Phone calls are difficult but with aunt putting the phone on speaker seems to help a lot.
I encourage both to call friends and check in on them.
Keep ears and hearing aids clean, use debrox for ears, replace batteries often. Ask PCP to check for wax buildup.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report
97yroldmom Jan 2021
Great advice.
(0)
Report
See 1 more reply
My hubby has almost no hearing at all. He wears his hearing aids sporadically. Even with the hearing aids,his hearing is minimal. I have given up trying to have any meaningful conversations with him, as he just can't do it. When I need to tell him or ask him something important, I stand very close, tap his arm, tell him to look at me, then speak directly into his ear. It is very hard to not have someone to talk to throughout the day, but it is reality.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report
Photogal425 Jan 2021
I understand and empathize with you. By chance does he text? A lot of times texting is easier for mom & I to “talk”.
(1)
Report
I found that my father would say "HUH?" every time I spoke out of sheer habit. His hearing 'improved' when I either refused to repeat myself or just said 'never mind'....funny how he heard that but not what I said.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
Photogal425 Jan 2021
Amazing huh? Glad I’m not alone!
(1)
Report
My late husband was very hard of hearing and may have had a processing problem as well. What seemed to work for him was a personal amplifier as the sound was transmitted as if thru a microphone.
These cost about fifty dollars and are used a lot in nursing homes and hospitals as the expensive hearing aides often get lost.
It can also be used with a phone or tv.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
Photogal425 Jan 2021
Thank you. Appreciate your thoughts.
(0)
Report
See All Answers
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter