I’ve been his caregiver for 15 yrs.
He has been bedridden since August. So this is very new for us & a huge 3-4X/day challenge for me. He is too large for me to pull him up in bed or turn him, his arms/legs are weak. I use diapers but tear off all the tabs and slide one end under his bum and pull the other up over his penis. 90% of the time he’ll pull the diaper off and get urine/feces all over him & throw diaper on the floor. He then pees all over the side of the bed and the floor. I forgot to mention he won’t wear clothes or gown. I cover the floor with bed pads since we have hard wood floors. Changing sheets, I fit the top 2 corners of the bed and stretch the sheet down his side to fit bottom corner. Then roll up sheet & under-pad lengthwise & push it under him as far as I’m able. Go around to other side and work slowly to grab/pull the sheet/pad underneath his body. It seems there should be an easier/quicker way to do this.
Thanks for reading this to the end.
I appreciate your patience & thoughts.
If your DH can/will help at all a bed assist rail can be useful to give him something to grab to keep him on his side.
If you are determined to care for him at home you may be able to rent a lift for a trial period, while they may not save much time they will definitely save your back and if you become injured you won't be able to care for him at all.
And last - there are dozens of videos on YouTube that can help you, you can start by searching for cna skills or any specific skill you are interested in
Personally, I wonder why you just do not get him into a nursing home under Medicaid. The only problem that I see is that he may be accepted far away from you. However you get your life back.
https://www.lavinlift.com/
Your wooden floors need to be replaced. Are you the owner or a renter?
I submitted all requested paperwork by Aug 28. But they were backlogged and after 20-30 phone calls I was told to wait for them to get to it. I haven’t been paid since last September and have no income.
i can not private pay a nursing home.
i can’t afford to hire in home care.
I feel stuck.
If you do not have a hospital/medical bed for him, that should be your top priority.
I was an in-home caregiver for 25 years. Please DO NOT buy siderails that can be attached to a regular bed and are held in place by a person's weight. This is the most dangerous and useless product in the world. You might as well leave a loaded gun in the bed because it's no more dangerous. When I was still doing hands-on care, if a client was immobile, in diapers, and did not have a hospital bed I would refuse the assignment. It's that dangerous to the client and the caregiver not having a bed already equipped with siderails that can be raised and lowered.
You should bring in outside help if you can. This will help greatly.
Here's what I always did for bedridden, diaper-dependent clients.
When the bed is being made, place a long beach towel lengthwise across where the person's backside will be. Then put a Chux pad on top of that. You can also put a disposable one too for convenience.
You use the ends of the beach towel to turn the person from side to side. Then have them hold on to the bedrail while you wash and change them. After you're finished, raise the foot of the bed as high as it can go (keep the head flat) then pull the beachtowel and slide the person up in the bed. Tell your husband to push up with his legs if he can. That helps. I did this daily on my own for a 430lb client in a bariatric hospital bed. It can be done if you know what you're doing. If you don't know what you're doing you are going to hurt yourself.
Bring in homecare to help you with his morning and bedtime care at least.
As for the diaper and him getting into it. Buy diapers that are roomy enough for him and put them on properly. Then duct tape them around the waist. Then put a pair of shorts over them. This will keep him from getting at the contents inside. To safely remove the soiled diaper, use a pair of rounded-tip bandage scissors and cut the tape.
I cannot stress it enough to you to please get a hospital/medical bed if you don't have one and to bring in some homecare to help you.
Given all of that, at narly 300 pounds I don't consider this is sustainable and am wondering that she has survived with back intact for 15 years.
Good luck to you.
Its awful that you have not been paid. Maybe write a letter to your State district Senator. Also tell them you have been denied. Call your Office of Aging. Maybe even Adult Protection.
I have heard a statistic that something like 40% of caregivers are outlived by the people they are taking care of. And the vast majority of those situations are 100% because of the caregiving - either because of physical or mental (or both) health impacts, isolation, emergent injury or illness of the caregiver that removes them from the home - you name it.
I am making the assumption that your DH is elderly - I can't tell. But if he is - you are also the loved one and caregiver for a Medical Unicorn. By that, I mean that the average person does not reach 75+ and still weigh over 250 pounds. My FIL, for whom I was one of multiple caregivers for the last 5 years, was almost 90 and 300+ lbs. Doctors were afraid to change anything because they did not know what was keeping him alive.
When someone is over a certain age and over a certain weight - you are in a double whammy. They aren't going to have the upper body strength to help you, they may not even have the mental capacity to know what you need help with if they are experiencing dementia symptoms.
When FIL was still mentally healthy - we told him that if he reached a line in the sand - we would have no choice but to either hire full time skilled nursing caregivers for his home or move him to SNF. He was bitter and angry about it. And he didn't believe us. But only two of the four of us lived with him (BIL/SIL) and none of us had 24 hours availability.
3 of the 4 already had SURGERY due to caregiving injuries. I was the lone survivor and I was headed in that direction. When he could no longer get himself out of bed and to the toilet - we told him it was time. He fought us but we held fast. Because we didn't owe him servitude or our health to keep him home. And even with all four of us we couldn't do what needed to be done.
You are ONE person - trying to do this 24 hours a day. At best you can get a hoyer lift. But that is only a bandaid. You really have to consider other options at this point. Either in home additional care or residential care. I don't see how you can do this alone for much longer.
Love and dedication to keeping him home won't protect you or him from injury. Keeping unnecessary promises without considering your safety and his are not in anyone's best interest. It's not giving up and it's also not providing care to look for other safe options.
Someone else mentioned a hospital bed. That is a great idea if you don't already have one. Also, I once had a patient that gave me a challenge. She was very heavy and her husband agreed to getting a Hoyer lift. What a life changer that was. We placed her onto the lift pad and raised her off the bed which allowed us to make the bed easily and quickly.
Northshorecare.com has waterproof diaper covers that are more challenging to get off. To change the diaper, you would pull the cover down to the ankles and pull it back up when done. Not sure if you can do this without help. Also, there are snap type body suits but it doesn't sound like your husband wants to wear any clothing. I would give the waterproof cover a try.
Best to you.
Find a nice facility, get him there, and get your life back. He will be better off with professional caregivers who know how to do this and do it well.
I'm very sorry for what you've been through.
I agree with all the others who have suggested placement as the long-term solution, and I also understand what you've said about the difficulty in getting him qualified for Medicaid. It's possible you need a lawyer to assist you in this. Again, finances may be hindering you from doing this, but in most locations there is some legal aid organization that charges based on income.
Your state or area agency on aging might be another resource for finding a way to get him placed. This is NOT my area of expertise, but others on this forum also can usually suggest ways to work around the financial restrictions for Medicaid. Since Medicaid is state-administered, there are some between-state differences in how to go about this, so be sure you get advice that is specific to your state.
You say he pulls the diaper off. I have had the same problem with my husband.
One thing I would recommend is disposable underpads. I sometimes use in lieu of a diaper. Get the XL, and you can double them up, use two or three at a time to virtually cover the area under him. I would suggest having a large, washable pad under that. Then, he can wet and soil the disposable pads, which are easy to roll up and remove. That is, if you can get him rolled to his side. It sounds like that, too is a problem.
I can think of 3 ideas to help with getting anything under him;
1) Can you get help? A second person?
2) You can rent a lift from a medical equipment supply store. They will deliver.
If you find that is not useful, you can return it. Although, as someone else has pointed out, it will be difficult to get the sling under him. I would get someone to help get the sling underneath, and just leave it there in place, under a disposable pad. Have a second sling to replace so you can wash when soiled.
At least if you are able to lift him off of the bed, you could more easily change the sheet and a washable soaker pad.
3) I have not tried this, but I have heard of people using a sheet under the body - it would be much wider than your husband, and using one end of the sheet to pull and roll him to one side. I don't know if you might be able to hook up a lift to pull and hold the sheet in place. You could have one placed under his back, and another under the legs, leaving the personal area uncovered for cleaning. Use the sheet to pull him to one side, then tie it to the bedrail or something to hold him in place.
Oh, yeah, and keep the floor beside the bed lined with disposable pads as well. That is what I do. In my case, the pee doesn't often make it to the floor, but he throws his nutrition drinks down on the floor when finished, or he just doesn't want it.
I hope you are able to find help. This is really a two person job.