My mother has stage 5-6 vascular dementia and is in a memory care unit near one of my brothers. I am contemplating moving her to a memory unit closer to me. This would involve a 10 hour car ride. I have no idea how we would do this. Does anyone have experience or suggestions? Thanks
A 10-hour car ride would probably need to be broken into 2 days. This means a hotel and restaurants. Do you trust her in a car? She wouldn't panic and try to unbuckle her seatbelt and open the car door? Or continuously yell "Help!" out the window like my Aunt did?
If you attempt a car ride will she need meds for anxiety or sleep? Is she on any now? I would definitely take another person with you so you can have breaks and go into rest stops without her, and someone can distract and entertain her (especially if you do all 10 hours in a single day). She will be disoriented and this may affect her behavior.
If she's settled in her current place, I'd think twice about moving her.
The problem toward the later days, was that I could NOT safely transfer her from the wheelchair to the car seat and back out. She could hold her bowels, and her Depends (and liners) could catch most of the urine (she was incontinent). Otherwise, my Mom thoroughly enjoyed car trips. We ate in the car and she liked that.
My suggestion to you is to take your Mom for a ride or 2, like about 1 hour each (no stops). See what happens. Will she eat and drink in the car or does she want to leave the car to eat and drink? Does she try and open the door while the car is moving? Does she try and get out?
There are a lot of different dementia behaviors. It is hard to predict what one will do with certainty. However, you can get an idea if you do shorter tests.
Good luck and I hope the trip is uneventful.
To her it was an adventure. She was admitted late in the afternoon and I stayed with her until she finished dinner.
Logistics:
Depends on mobility.
She was wait listed, but once accepted, she required a TB test. I had to pre purchase bedroom furniture and set it up before her arrival
I had to donate her old furniture rather than move it. I was very lucky to find another resident family member who had a daughter who needed a bedroom set. The mattress was tossed out by the MC
I packed up her clothes and most personal stuff. It moved with me in my moving van...the reason for the move. The most important items to move were a few wall pictures of long deceased siblings and all of her photo albumns
I packed only essentials that would go in 2 suitcases and my travel bag was only a carry on..
If I think of anything else, I will re post
It's very likely she will not be able to acclimate to a new facilty and all the new people who are strangers to her.
Is the MC she is in bad? Who is her POA? If she is not mistreated then I would leave things be.