Mom told me she is concerned about my housing options when she passes away. The building management rules make my staying there not an option. Plus I could never afford it on my own anyway. My finances are very limited due to caregiving full time. I have several relatives who would like me to live with them. Some of them used to live with us, and the experience was very stressful. They are slightly younger than my mom, and are hoping I will become their caregivers. I don't want to do that. I would appreciate whatever suggestions anyone may have. Thank you.
Do you have a job that you can return to?
It might be that you have to take up the offer of housing for a short time but you need to find other options and the best time to do so is now when it is not "urgent" that you leave where you are now.
We need to take care of ourself too.
Whatever you decide to do, I think you definitely want to avoid caregiving for stressful people -- what a double whammy!
Very few of us can afford to quit our jobs mid-career to do full time caregiving. I'm glad that mom is concerned! Talk to her about setting up a plan to pay you a living wage so that you will be able to afford to live somewhere decent when she passes on. Then you'll be better able to get back on your feet and resume your career.
In my area, there are HUD subsidized apts. For rent, they take 30% of your income. Heat is included, you pay electric and TV.
Good thing you r thinking ahead. I agree to contact Office of Aging and see what is offered for people trying to get back in the workplace after caring for someone.
I do have a suggestion, but you may not like it. Have you considered becoming a certified nurse's assistant (CNA)? As the elder population is growing, so is an enormous need for carers and hospitals are even willing to train on the job. You will have to pay for a state license, but it should not be difficult to pass. Once you get a CNA you can get a job practically anywhere including home care agencies, nursing homes, hospitals and clinics. Some hospitals will reimburse you for your state license fees if you pass it. Local agencies may offer sitter jobs--you do nothing but sit and watch with no hands-on care, but they pay absolutely minimum wage. Your best bet is to get a CNA license.
The cheapest living accommodations are single room efficiencies. Get any kind of job...fast. Or you will end up homeless like millions of other Americans and just become another faceless entity.
As if we are not aware what living in the “real” world entails?
Firstly, how rude of you to say it but secondly, how can you begin to think your generalizations Can be resolved so easily?
My mom is with it also but she is physically frail and needs assistance. The fact that she’s mentally alert concerns me as to how many years she would be looking at placement in a care home. Probly much longer than her money will last.
Those are my facts, though I’m sure there are many others. I’m well aware, as is the op, that I’m losing my resources and that’s why she asked the question. Not to be put down by responders.
If you can’t say something nice, do us a favor and don’t say anything at all!
While care taking for your mother, try to gain any skill. Phlebotomy or medical assisting or medical billing are easy entry jobs after getting certified.
Find a group and network somehow. I have friends that know of my care-taking situation that I plan on temporarily house with while finding something income producing. Be clear with your objective.
My mother who I care for, became widowed herself in her mid-fifties and started a career and worked until age 80. I think family members felt sorry for her but it actually kept her active which was the best thing.
One person I know, took a year to become a full-time student at age 50 and live in student housing after death of a LO. She is almost finished with the degree program.
I would like to caution you about a few things. One is setting up a corporation for caregivers contract, the laws have changed and it is expensive to incorporate and comply with all the laws. It is thousands of dollars and the write offs would not offset the expenses. You are far better to hire a payroll service that basically employees you and you submit your hours and they invoice mom and that covers all required taxes, workmans comp insurance and some even offer other benefits, like self pay insurance and it is a group so it is affordable. You can get a caregiver contract online and not pay a thousand or more to have an attorney draw it up, if you are concerned do the contract and have an attorney review it, much more cost effective. This will ensure that you are contributing to social security and Medicare.
If there are long waiting lists for section 8 housing, get on the list now. I would think that you having housing is more important to your mom than where she lives, you can both move in as long as you are honest on the paperwork. You can also find out what happens if you decide not to move and she passes right after you refuse, I think you go to the end of the list, but ask.
I would also look for housing that is for 50+. We have a lot of adult complexes that 50 is the minimum age.
If mom has the money she should be setting up some type of cushion for you for the transition time. Living below her means would help with that, look at your budget and see if there are items that can be cut out or down to ensure you are getting paid enough or she is able to put some aside.
Go to Dave Ramsey website or check out his book from the library and start applying the information, go to everyday cheapskate and start applying the information provided on how to live cheaper, every dollar makes a difference.
I make my own spray no rinse body cleaner and someone asked me why I would do that, because I can make it for a quarter and I can't see paying 10 bucks when I can get a years supply for that by spending a few moments monthly. You can do this with all household cleaners, laundry detergent and even food items. It is all available on line and it saves loads of money. Not to mention how gratifying it is to see a sparkling clean house and knowing that it was your personal effort through and through. Mindful living now will prepare you for the future.
Do you live in an area that you could make something and sell it at a farmer's market? This could start earning you cash now, and who knows, it might be so successful that you keep doing it as long as you need to.
I see women selling homemade candy 1 piece at a time and being sold out in 1 hour. Soaps, lotions, salsas, anything that you can imagine is now available at farmer's markets and people are earning a living doing it.
Best of luck finding your path.
If you succeed in returning to the workplace (if that's the plan?), and your relatives *still* offer you accommodation, I should say thank you very much and take them up on it. Then you can rebuild, with gainful employment and a base to start from.
If any such offer comes with strings attached, though... be careful.
Use caution with Craigslist... it seems like every other episode of Judge Judy has to do with either shady roommates or landlords that found each other on Craigslist. And as others have said you'll go to the end of the line for section 8 housing unless you have kids or a disability of some sort.
Early 50s is a late start in life but better late than never. Good luck.
From what you revealed, and I could be wrong, it sounds like they have enough finances to house you “and” compensate you. You have the option and power to negotiate pay, schedule the week ( holidays etc.) and create margins. Get it in writing so you don’t have to experience bad endings. Do not leave anything left un-discussed or un-disclosed. Love is trust, and trust is truth. When you get things in writing, there is less room for problems. And, the least expensive way to get it in writing is to type out the “titled” agreement and both sign it at a bank with a Notary rep taking care of you. You pay per page.
Depending on what options you have at this point, always realize that you can make things work, because it is not all your responsibility alone. If they want you to become their caregiver, then establish the rules. I hope I interpreted your issue correctly.
If your mom does not require 24/7 care right now, then look to see if there are folks in the building where you live now that need some hourly assistance. It may be light housework or preparing meals. Speaking of meals, you might ask other folks in your building if they might be interested in a meal service. Assuming you maintain a clean kitchen area and could pass a food services inspection (you can ck with health department about cooking in the home for your area), you could do casseroles, soups, etc and deliver without ever really leaving home. Meals are a real issue for elderly or disabled who tend to eat junk instead of spending much time on preparation.
You might want to check with a home health service to find out what credentials you need to be a caregiver and get that done now. Working for them could be part time or full time work and the job ends when you leave their house (unlike living with a relative where you're paying no rent).
A little planning now may be the difference in being able to move into your own place or being without a place to live and having no where to go except to a relative who is looking for your assistance (possibly unpaid).