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You can find state forms on the Internet. If there is any chance of a challenge, I personally would feel safer going to an attorney to make sure it would stand up in court. Others may disagree, but I like to be sure so I don't have to worry about it.
Since you have the Medical POA, that could weigh in your favor. The person trusted you enough to do that. But still, I like to error on the side of safety if possible.
I totally agree with Carol. It's best to have a lawyer's guidance. My mom got mad at me and my kids this year and revoked the POA she'd given to my son and me. I had to get a lawyer to help me prove I wasn't guilty of the wrongdoings she was accusing me of. My lawyer told me too many people don't realize what can happen with a POA because they don't understand all of the laws. We proved my mom was wrong and didn't know what she was talking about. Don't think it can't happen. Never in a million years did I think mom would do something like that to me but she did. It was embarrassing, hurtful and devastating to me and my family. Be safe,get a lawyer.
My mother suffers from Dementia/Alzheimers, she has accumulated so much debt and being sued.How do I get power of attorney to speak to debt collectors?
You can get the form here: http://www.totallegal.com/poa.asp?m=legalplan&gclid=COv-sOr_lLICFQhN4AodUlsA_g
The main thing is to make sure it's signed in the presence of a notary public. Have all parties (including witnesses) present when the notary appears to make it easier. (I had to pay $20 for the notary to come to my grandmothers house to notarize the docs). I had enough copies signed so that I had enough original notarized documents at the ready (5).
Esp. since its dementia/alzheimers, make sure you know the difference between a general POA and a durable POA (the latter is incontestable). Good luck!
Question #1: My mother's lawyer did the will, the power of attorney for personnal care but neglected to do the power of attorney for property and finance. My mother is suffering from Alhzeimers and can't do anything. How do we go about getting power of attorney for property and finance?
Question #2: I did my own will, power of attorney for personnal care and power of attorney for property and finance, all three documents are signed by myself and two witnesses...do I really need a lawyer to sign off as well? Seems like a money grap scam to me.
An ordinary Power of Attorney is only valid as long as the Principal is capable of managing his or her own affairs. It becomes invalid when the Principal loses capacity (loses the ability to make important decisions). A "durable" Power of Attorney, if created before the Principal loses capacity, will remain valid even after capacity is lost. If you want your Attorney-in-fact to make decisions for you after you have lost the ability to make decisions for yourself, then you should choose "durable".
You can find the forms to do POAs all around the net. I actually pulled the paragraph above right off the quick fill-in-the-blanks form for the durable poa. The most important part is to make sure you can get 2 witnesses, the person you will be standing up as attorney-in-fact as and a notary public all together at the same time. I was able to get one to come out to my grandmother's house on the day of signing ... he only charged $10 to notarize 2 docs. The clerk in your probate court should be able to guide you to finding a notary close to where you are.
I probably don't need to tell you how important and serious a power of attorney document is; you basically become the other person.
Best of luck to you in this really difficult time. The ability to keep my sensibilities about me and try to see the business things that MUST be done in spite of how I was feeling emotionally is something I will always be greatful for discovering about myself.
I recently did DPOAs for my elderly parents and sister. Well that is to say, attempted..I completed the DPOAs I found for the state of fl on line, where my parents and sister live. The DPOA was supposed to be acceptable legally for fl. I flew to fla from MA brought everyone to their bank (bank of america) for the DPOA to be notarized, witnessed, signed etc. I was then told by the bank, my parents bank that they would not accept it as valid???? Ok, moving on, dad is 83, has dementia with Lewy bodies and total body atrophy, I tried to get legal assistance from Florida senior help line, which asked for a faxed copy of the DPOA. They contacted me and dad and said that the DPOA was. Not valid because a clause called jurat identification was not in the document.??? Apparently, even though the notary verified everyone's identification by license, gov. ID (dad has no drivers license) SS numbers and bank customer Information And it was all recorded in their notary log book this was not sufficient proof of their identification and therefore the DPO a was rejected so now I am back to square one. My father and mother are cared for by my sister, who also,is in poor health, having had two heart attacks, and four stints, pancreatis and other health issues. My parents can not be left alone and need 24/7 care. Dad is also incontinent and white the total body atrophy, his muscles do not work so moving him From the hospital bed into a wheel chair is like moving dead weight. The three of them live solely on my parents soc. sec., and live day to day, hand to mouth. Still, they do not qualify for Medicaid... There is no money form home care, respite care, or any other senior free aid. I am trying to get free legal aid to get a DPOA thru CLMSF but that is a long shot. My sister does a great job taking care of mom and dad. It is frustrating for her as many days even mom can not physically and mentally help sis even move or change, bathe and dress dad. Getting him out of bed, changed, dressed and fed just to get to a DR appt is a 3 hr process, and that is when mom can assist.
I live in MA and try to research and track down assistance for them, I also make trips to Fla to,give sis a break, but that is only temporary and can not be frequent enough. Every place we turn to for assistance either costs money they simply do not have, or they are making too much money...seriously....three people live on $2,300.er month. From this comes expenses of approx $2,100. Per month for basic living expenses like rent, food, medicine, medical insurance and utilities. I have stacks of paperwork, names and numbers of organizations that are supposed to assist my parents and sister. Not a single one has been helpful.
I would like for my sister tone able to even take time out for herself to see a movie, or even have to e for personal care. There is none. She is constantly on duty, 24/7...literally. Dad constantly sundowns and calls out all night long...meds barely help. Between making sure they have their meds, meals, and she makes sure they are nutritional meals, bathing dad, dressing dad, trying to get hi to exercise his muscles, (which are failing him),cleaning hse....when ever it is possible , and getting mom to eat...there is no time to even go to the bathroom without being on alert. I was there in October for two weeks. While there, my sister had another heart attack and was I the hospital. Shortly after that and after I returned home, dad was I the hospital for two weeks due decline in health and memory, was in a rehab for only a week because Humana would not pay for longer stay and my parents could not afford the $50. Per day charge for him to remain. So, she and mom are it, except for when I can get there. I was there In feb and again in may. Dad is currently suffering from a severe uti and dehydration, he refuses to drink water because he is in depends and doesn't want to pee I. Them, although he can not always communicate when he needs to go. He has also had bowel incontinence for. To e to time. He has had bladder cancer and has a neo bladder which contributes to the incontinence, he also has had a couple of bouts with cancer and a stoke. Sorry for rambling, but I can not comprehend why in this country, American citizens who were born, raised and supported this country their entire lives have to be subjected to such degradation in old age. My parents are only 18 years older than me so I can see what is I store for me. Mom spends many days saying she just wants it to be over....dad can't say too much of anything at times, sis is ready for a nervous breakdown...or a other heart attack, which ever happens first and I too even though far away have many sleepless nights and anxiety attacks over all of this. Sis has no,health insurance, not eligible for SSD, can not leave parents to go to work. She therefore does not even have her much needed heart and blood pressure medicines for herself. Mom.s glasses are so old I don't think she ca see with them anymore, and her teeth are breaking off I her mouth so,she only has front teeth to chew/eat with so she doesn't want to eat. These things are not even covered with Humana , and they can not afford to get on policy. I can not find free dental for mom and here has been no help for lions club for glasses.
This is such a depressing state of affairs, why would anyone want to grow old and live this way in America is beyond me. I think I would prefer other alternatives than to have to live like this in the future.
Sorry for rambling, I am just so frustrated and depressed by it all and by the lack of assistance, real available assistance for seniors and my parents and younger sister.
I recently did DPOAs for my elderly parents and sister. Well that is to say, attempted..I completed the DPOAs I found for the state of fl on line, where my parents and sister live. The DPOA was supposed to be acceptable legally for fl. I flew to fla from MA brought everyone to their bank (bank of america) for the DPOA to be notarized, witnessed, signed etc. I was then told by the bank, my parents bank that they would not accept it as valid???? Ok, moving on, dad is 83, has dementia with Lewy bodies and total body atrophy, I tried to get legal assistance from Florida senior help line, which asked for a faxed copy of the DPOA. They contacted me and dad and said that the DPOA was. Not valid because a clause called jurat identification was not in the document.??? Apparently, even though the notary verified everyone's identification by license, gov. ID (dad has no drivers license) SS numbers and bank customer Information And it was all recorded in their notary log book this was not sufficient proof of their identification and therefore the DPO a was rejected so now I am back to square one. My father and mother are cared for by my sister, who also,is in poor health, having had two heart attacks, and four stints, pancreatis and other health issues. My parents can not be left alone and need 24/7 care. Dad is also incontinent and white the total body atrophy, his muscles do not work so moving him From the hospital bed into a wheel chair is like moving dead weight. The three of them live solely on my parents soc. sec., and live day to day, hand to mouth. Still, they do not qualify for Medicaid... There is no money form home care, respite care, or any other senior free aid. I am trying to get free legal aid to get a DPOA thru CLMSF but that is a long shot. My sister does a great job taking care of mom and dad. It is frustrating for her as many days even mom can not physically and mentally help sis even move or change, bathe and dress dad. Getting him out of bed, changed, dressed and fed just to get to a DR appt is a 3 hr process, and that is when mom can assist.
I live in MA and try to research and track down assistance for them, I also make trips to Fla to,give sis a break, but that is only temporary and can not be frequent enough. Every place we turn to for assistance either costs money they simply do not have, or they are making too much money...seriously....three people live on $2,300.er month. From this comes expenses of approx $2,100. Per month for basic living expenses like rent, food, medicine, medical insurance and utilities. I have stacks of paperwork, names and numbers of organizations that are supposed to assist my parents and sister. Not a single one has been helpful.
I would like for my sister tone able to even take time out for herself to see a movie, or even have to e for personal care. There is none. She is constantly on duty, 24/7...literally. Dad constantly sundowns and calls out all night long...meds barely help. Between making sure they have their meds, meals, and she makes sure they are nutritional meals, bathing dad, dressing dad, trying to get hi to exercise his muscles, (which are failing him),cleaning hse....when ever it is possible , and getting mom to eat...there is no time to even go to the bathroom without being on alert. I was there in October for two weeks. While there, my sister had another heart attack and was I the hospital. Shortly after that and after I returned home, dad was I the hospital for two weeks due decline in health and memory, was in a rehab for only a week because Humana would not pay for longer stay and my parents could not afford the $50. Per day charge for him to remain. So, she and mom are it, except for when I can get there. I was there In feb and again in may. Dad is currently suffering from a severe uti and dehydration, he refuses to drink water because he is in depends and doesn't want to pee I. Them, although he can not always communicate when he needs to go. He has also had bowel incontinence for. To e to time. He has had bladder cancer and has a neo bladder which contributes to the incontinence, he also has had a couple of bouts with cancer and a stoke. Sorry for rambling, but I can not comprehend why in this country, American citizens who were born, raised and supported this country their entire lives have to be subjected to such degradation in old age. My parents are only 18 years older than me so I can see what is I store for me. Mom spends many days saying she just wants it to be over....dad can't say too much of anything at times, sis is ready for a nervous breakdown...or a other heart attack, which ever happens first and I too even though far away have many sleepless nights and anxiety attacks over all of this. Sis has no,health insurance, not eligible for SSD, can not leave parents to go to work. She therefore does not even have her much needed heart and blood pressure medicines for herself. Mom.s glasses are so old I don't think she ca see with them anymore, and her teeth are breaking off I her mouth so,she only has front teeth to chew/eat with so she doesn't want to eat. These things are not even covered with Humana , and they can not afford to get on policy. I can not find free dental for mom and here has been no help for lions club for glasses.
This is such a depressing state of affairs, why would anyone want to grow old and live this way in America is beyond me. I think I would prefer other alternatives than to have to live like this in the future.
Sorry for rambling, I am just so frustrated and depressed by it all and by the lack of assistance, real available assistance for seniors and my parents and younger sister.
Oh my goodness so many answers and questions all wrapped into one. It is difficult to know where to start. To WZATMATH: Go to an attorney and have them draw up a Durable Power of Attorney for you, do not do it on your own. Laws change from time to time and each state is different to some degree, so to be safe with such a serious matter, have it done by a professional, don't mess around and be sorry later. I say this from experience.
To Lindipan: Do not trust the Bank of America as far as you can throw them!! Here to I speak from experience. I paid thousands of dollars to have my parents Trust updated and I was given POA over Mom's Healthcare and Financial matters and had all documentation to prove it. My parents have banked at Bank of America for over 50 years and I took my documentation to them not to remove any money from the bank to to open another account in the name of the Trust and move some money sitting in a checking account that was outside the trust back into the Trust and they refused to accept my POA. I went round and round with a newbie in the Legal Department and the truth is THE BANK OF AMERICA CHOOSES NOT TO ACCEPT ANYONE'S POA UNLESS THEY ARE SUED IN A COURT AND FORCED TO DO SO! This is the absolute truth and I am not just saying it out of anger. There are attorneys you can go to who will sue them for you and the funny thing is the Bank of America has to foot the bill for their illegal practices. Your other option is to find another bank and take your documentation to them and open your accounts there. I went to One West Bank and they opened the accounts I needed with my POA.
I was livid after this happened to me and I was yelling at my attorney that he had given me documentation that was not worth the paper it was written on and then I found out from several people that the Bank of America does this ALL THE TIME!
They know that most people will simply seek another bank and will not go to the trouble of suing them. See you cannot sue them for damages, you can only sue to force them to accept your documentation. If they could be sued for 1 million dollars for every single person they have denied, they would end their practice of denial. What they do is illegal! They have put you through HELL and you are trying to do this and living in another state, but do they care? NO THEY DON'T!
To Ladoucec: Now that your parent already has Alzheimer's/Dementia you can no longer obtain a POA. That must be obtained PRIOR to the parent becoming ill. I is set up with the understanding that it only comes into use when that parent is no longer able to care for themselves or makes decisions for themselves. Now your only option is to become their conservator, which is a lot of work and costly. I would say call an attorney and ask for a consultation many offer an hour for free. I would NEVER attempt to do my own Trust or POA, everything must not just be signed but signed in front of a notary.
Also an attorney will not make up a Trust or POA for you AFTER your parent is ill with any mental illness like Alzheimer's or Dementia. It is illegal and unethical and they can be held responsible if a person is trying to rip off another sibling by doing this. FYI
My mother did not see the real need to give me her POA but because I cared for her and handled all her financial matters and healthcare she spoke to the attorney alone, and decided to give it to me prior to her memory becoming a problem. This is a very hard discussion to have with a parent but if you don't do it early enough you will suffer big time with this later on and your parents could lose everything.
thanks Wyndie for your information, it has been helpful. I am trying to secure assistance from CLSMF. org for assistance for creating another DPOA as Florida Senior Legal Helpline also rejected the one I had notarized because it did not contain a "jurat" identification clause...thanks to Bank of America. CLSMF has also rejected my request because I filled out the form for my father, (now hospitalized) and they refused to talk to me and hung up on me when I tried to explain. Florida sucks when it comes to helping seniors, they claim to have all these programs and outreach but when you try to access and get help from them forget it. I have been waging this battle for three years. I swear they wait for seniors to die before they even consider help. I am at my wits end as both mom and dad have dementia issues.
My brother-in-law is dying of cancer and some days he is good and others he is terrible. He needs a power of attorney filled out and signed in front of a notary. Can his wife fill it out for him if he tells her his wishes and then just have them sign it in front of a notary?
Do not use the internet to produce a Durable/Power of Attorney. The do it yourself forms do not address all the situations you may need to do as the agent. My mother used a lawyer, it was 7 pages long and very detailed. You will not find that on the internet. Get a lawyer who is experienced in that field. You pay for what you get!
He'll also have to have his signature witnessed by 2 independent witnesses (at least that was the situation in Michigan when our plans were executed).
As Debralee advises, get an attorney. When my sister was dying, I discussed with her what she wanted, called my attorney, and in a day or two she came to the hospital and all the documents were executed.
She was a notary herself, we brought two acquaintances of my father for witnesses.
My mother now 93 did a dpoa with my sister and my name on it it was never filed she then changed he mind and took me off without me knowing and put my cousin on it she then put me and crossed out my cousin, initialed it and I had a paper for the VA noterised fpr her then I found out that the first dpoa was never filed and never legally changed other that the names changed on it .So I went to the courthouse and filed the one with my name the told me if she didn't recind hers mine was still valid well my sister took ove when mom had a small stroke and took her to her house that was in no condition to take care of her safely I was accused of stealing money and so my sister locked me out of my mothers condo and I could not get in there to get my things . She lied to my mom about the checking acct and trumped up all of these charges against me so mom would not trust me but she knows I would never lie to her. anyway my sister decided to let the apt go turn it over to the bank and not pay the condo fees so the condo association locked her out. This is all we have left memories and things we all loved and had all of our lives now who know where they are the cards the information on bank records and everything mom had all her beautiful clothes beeautiful antique furniture.Im sick to my stomach I dont know what to so this fight between my sister and I have been going on for 4 years she kept mom away from me i was not allowed to see her but I found out where she was after she broken her leg and finally got to see her my sister then had a stroke and her daugter took care of everthin i guess and carol who was also on the poa would not have a thing to do with it. I am trying to become friend with my sister now i feel so bad about her stroke but I thought if I was nice to her and told her all I cared about mom which is so true I miss her and have been kept from her I am a disabled senior and they have done nothing but abuse me. at this point I want to see my mother and thats all,but I cant unless I suck up to my sister. what rights do I have?
Lindipan,Amen, I total agree with you 100%. I totally feel that "freedom of speech" no longer exists in the USA, Look its a law that you must have Health Insurance or be fined, excuse me but how the hell can you make US Citizens who pay into Medicare and is deducted from gross pay amongst the other deductables the state and federal goverment take from hard working US Citizens, but oh boy the state is at will to give some Illegal Immigrant medical benefits as well as cash aide thats where all US Citizens deductions go but yet we as legal americans who work hard for every penny made to support some immigrant when US citizens are barley making ends meet and can't even live off there earnings there borrowing from peter to pay paul and paul to pay mary. What gives. Oh yah and it just sickens me when it's back to school time and i see all these teachers and I a parent of 2 were given notices sent home
With a list of supplies students will need on a daily basis what happened to the lottery proceeds that were suppose to be for educational purposes, really teachers paying out of there pockets for supplies for there students. Man this country is not the land of the free and is so not beautiful anymore. And God Bless America, Amen and praise god, Lord my mother used to tell us as kids when it would rain really hard here in California and we would have what californians thought were bad storms, she would say oh it's ok kids that's just tears from the lord he's really sad and upset with some american's and when we would have earthquakes oh boy she would say the lord is really upset today. Sorry but come on wake up and see what every american sees now a days.
If you have a durable POA for someone, you can go to the social security office and become the representative payee for their check, so that you can direct the check to an account you can pay the bills from. However, once a person has so much dementia that no lawyer would sign for them (and perhaps no notary) you can't originate a POA so you are more stuck. You might still try going to the social security office to see whether the POA you have notarized would be accepted by them to become representative payee if you want to manage their money and bills. Also, not sure why sister didn't qualify for SSD.
Do I need two poa to move parents from Miami flat to Delaware Ohio my parents are in subacute facility who needs to be present so we can confirm with Ohio. Assisted living Help
My husband has MS and can not sign his name anymore and is totally bed bound at home but there is nothing wrong with his mental ability. Because we may have to file for Medicaid for long term care we must separate our income and bank accounts so I will need a power of attorney to do this. I live in NY must I have a lawyer?
Under the circumstances, it's much better and more practical to hire an attorney. Since your husband can't sign, an attorney can bring a video cam and record your husband's verbal consent as well as address how to execute any documents.
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Since you have the Medical POA, that could weigh in your favor. The person trusted you enough to do that. But still, I like to error on the side of safety if possible.
Carol
The main thing is to make sure it's signed in the presence of a notary public. Have all parties (including witnesses) present when the notary appears to make it easier. (I had to pay $20 for the notary to come to my grandmothers house to notarize the docs). I had enough copies signed so that I had enough original notarized documents at the ready (5).
Esp. since its dementia/alzheimers, make sure you know the difference between a general POA and a durable POA (the latter is incontestable). Good luck!
Question #2: I did my own will, power of attorney for personnal care and power of attorney for property and finance, all three documents are signed by myself and two witnesses...do I really need a lawyer to sign off as well? Seems like a money grap scam to me.
You can find the forms to do POAs all around the net. I actually pulled the paragraph above right off the quick fill-in-the-blanks form for the durable poa. The most important part is to make sure you can get 2 witnesses, the person you will be standing up as attorney-in-fact as and a notary public all together at the same time. I was able to get one to come out to my grandmother's house on the day of signing ... he only charged $10 to notarize 2 docs. The clerk in your probate court should be able to guide you to finding a notary close to where you are.
I probably don't need to tell you how important and serious a power of attorney document is; you basically become the other person.
Best of luck to you in this really difficult time. The ability to keep my sensibilities about me and try to see the business things that MUST be done in spite of how I was feeling emotionally is something I will always be greatful for discovering about myself.
notary log book this was not sufficient proof of their identification and therefore the DPO a was rejected so now I am back to square one.
My father and mother are cared for by my sister, who also,is in poor health, having had two heart attacks, and four stints, pancreatis and other health issues. My parents can not be left alone and need 24/7 care. Dad is also incontinent and white the total body atrophy, his muscles do not work so moving him From the hospital bed into a wheel chair is like moving dead weight. The three of them live solely on my parents soc. sec., and live day to day, hand to mouth. Still, they do not qualify for Medicaid... There is no money form home care, respite care, or any other senior free aid. I am trying to get free legal aid to get a DPOA thru CLMSF but that is a long shot.
My sister does a great job taking care of mom and dad. It is frustrating for her as many days even mom can not physically and mentally help sis even move or change, bathe and dress dad. Getting him out of bed, changed, dressed and fed just to get to a DR appt is a 3 hr process, and that is when mom can assist.
I live in MA and try to research and track down assistance for them, I also make trips to Fla to,give sis a break, but that is only temporary and can not be frequent enough.
Every place we turn to for assistance either costs money they simply do not have, or they are making too much money...seriously....three people live on $2,300.er month. From this comes expenses of approx $2,100. Per month for basic living expenses like rent, food, medicine, medical insurance and utilities.
I have stacks of paperwork, names and numbers of organizations that are supposed to assist my parents and sister. Not a single one has been helpful.
I would like for my sister tone able to even take time out for herself to see a movie, or even have to e for personal care. There is none. She is constantly on duty, 24/7...literally. Dad constantly sundowns and calls out all night long...meds barely help. Between making sure they have their meds, meals, and she makes sure they are nutritional meals, bathing dad, dressing dad, trying to get hi to exercise his muscles, (which are failing him),cleaning hse....when ever it is possible , and getting mom to eat...there is no time to even go to the bathroom without being on alert.
I was there in October for two weeks. While there, my sister had another heart attack and was I the hospital. Shortly after that and after I returned home, dad was I the hospital for two weeks due decline in health and memory, was in a rehab for only a week because Humana would not pay for longer stay and my parents could not afford the $50. Per day charge for him to remain. So, she and mom are it, except for when I can get there. I was there In feb and again in may. Dad is currently suffering from a severe uti and dehydration, he refuses to drink water because he is in depends and doesn't want to pee I. Them, although he can not always communicate when he needs to go. He has also had bowel incontinence for. To e to time. He has had bladder cancer and has a neo bladder which contributes to the incontinence, he also has had a couple of bouts with cancer and a stoke.
Sorry for rambling, but I can not comprehend why in this country, American citizens who were born, raised and supported this country their entire lives have to be subjected to such degradation in old age. My parents are only 18 years older than me so I can see what is I store for me.
Mom spends many days saying she just wants it to be over....dad can't say too much of anything at times, sis is ready for a nervous breakdown...or a other heart attack, which ever happens first and I too even though far away have many sleepless nights and anxiety attacks over all of this.
Sis has no,health insurance, not eligible for SSD, can not leave parents to go to work. She therefore does not even have her much needed heart and blood pressure medicines for herself.
Mom.s glasses are so old I don't think she ca see with them anymore, and her teeth are breaking off I her mouth so,she only has front teeth to chew/eat with so she doesn't want to eat. These things are not even covered with Humana , and they can not afford to get on policy. I can not find free dental for mom and here has been no help for lions club for glasses.
This is such a depressing state of affairs, why would anyone want to grow old and live this way in America is beyond me. I think I would prefer other alternatives than to have to live like this in the future.
Sorry for rambling, I am just so frustrated and depressed by it all and by the lack of assistance, real available assistance for seniors and my parents and younger sister.
notary log book this was not sufficient proof of their identification and therefore the DPO a was rejected so now I am back to square one.
My father and mother are cared for by my sister, who also,is in poor health, having had two heart attacks, and four stints, pancreatis and other health issues. My parents can not be left alone and need 24/7 care. Dad is also incontinent and white the total body atrophy, his muscles do not work so moving him From the hospital bed into a wheel chair is like moving dead weight. The three of them live solely on my parents soc. sec., and live day to day, hand to mouth. Still, they do not qualify for Medicaid... There is no money form home care, respite care, or any other senior free aid. I am trying to get free legal aid to get a DPOA thru CLMSF but that is a long shot.
My sister does a great job taking care of mom and dad. It is frustrating for her as many days even mom can not physically and mentally help sis even move or change, bathe and dress dad. Getting him out of bed, changed, dressed and fed just to get to a DR appt is a 3 hr process, and that is when mom can assist.
I live in MA and try to research and track down assistance for them, I also make trips to Fla to,give sis a break, but that is only temporary and can not be frequent enough.
Every place we turn to for assistance either costs money they simply do not have, or they are making too much money...seriously....three people live on $2,300.er month. From this comes expenses of approx $2,100. Per month for basic living expenses like rent, food, medicine, medical insurance and utilities.
I have stacks of paperwork, names and numbers of organizations that are supposed to assist my parents and sister. Not a single one has been helpful.
I would like for my sister tone able to even take time out for herself to see a movie, or even have to e for personal care. There is none. She is constantly on duty, 24/7...literally. Dad constantly sundowns and calls out all night long...meds barely help. Between making sure they have their meds, meals, and she makes sure they are nutritional meals, bathing dad, dressing dad, trying to get hi to exercise his muscles, (which are failing him),cleaning hse....when ever it is possible , and getting mom to eat...there is no time to even go to the bathroom without being on alert.
I was there in October for two weeks. While there, my sister had another heart attack and was I the hospital. Shortly after that and after I returned home, dad was I the hospital for two weeks due decline in health and memory, was in a rehab for only a week because Humana would not pay for longer stay and my parents could not afford the $50. Per day charge for him to remain. So, she and mom are it, except for when I can get there. I was there In feb and again in may. Dad is currently suffering from a severe uti and dehydration, he refuses to drink water because he is in depends and doesn't want to pee I. Them, although he can not always communicate when he needs to go. He has also had bowel incontinence for. To e to time. He has had bladder cancer and has a neo bladder which contributes to the incontinence, he also has had a couple of bouts with cancer and a stoke.
Sorry for rambling, but I can not comprehend why in this country, American citizens who were born, raised and supported this country their entire lives have to be subjected to such degradation in old age. My parents are only 18 years older than me so I can see what is I store for me.
Mom spends many days saying she just wants it to be over....dad can't say too much of anything at times, sis is ready for a nervous breakdown...or a other heart attack, which ever happens first and I too even though far away have many sleepless nights and anxiety attacks over all of this.
Sis has no,health insurance, not eligible for SSD, can not leave parents to go to work. She therefore does not even have her much needed heart and blood pressure medicines for herself.
Mom.s glasses are so old I don't think she ca see with them anymore, and her teeth are breaking off I her mouth so,she only has front teeth to chew/eat with so she doesn't want to eat. These things are not even covered with Humana , and they can not afford to get on policy. I can not find free dental for mom and here has been no help for lions club for glasses.
This is such a depressing state of affairs, why would anyone want to grow old and live this way in America is beyond me. I think I would prefer other alternatives than to have to live like this in the future.
Sorry for rambling, I am just so frustrated and depressed by it all and by the lack of assistance, real available assistance for seniors and my parents and younger sister.
To WZATMATH: Go to an attorney and have them draw up a Durable Power of Attorney for you, do not do it on your own. Laws change from time to time and each state is different to some degree, so to be safe with such a serious matter, have it done by a professional, don't mess around and be sorry later. I say this from experience.
To Lindipan: Do not trust the Bank of America as far as you can throw them!! Here to I speak from experience. I paid thousands of dollars to have my parents Trust updated and I was given POA over Mom's Healthcare and Financial matters and had all documentation to prove it. My parents have banked at Bank of America for over 50 years and I took my documentation to them not to remove any money from the bank to to open another account in the name of the Trust and move some money sitting in a checking account that was outside the trust back into the Trust and they refused to accept my POA. I went round and round with a newbie in the Legal Department and the truth is THE BANK OF AMERICA CHOOSES NOT TO ACCEPT ANYONE'S POA UNLESS THEY ARE SUED IN A COURT AND FORCED TO DO SO! This is the absolute truth and I am not just saying it out of anger. There are attorneys you can go to who will sue them for you and the funny thing is the Bank of America has to foot the bill for their illegal practices. Your other option is to find another bank and take your documentation to them and open your accounts there. I went to One West Bank and they opened the accounts I needed with my POA.
I was livid after this happened to me and I was yelling at my attorney that he had given me documentation that was not worth the paper it was written on and then I found out from several people that the Bank of America does this ALL THE TIME!
They know that most people will simply seek another bank and will not go to the trouble of suing them. See you cannot sue them for damages, you can only sue to force them to accept your documentation. If they could be sued for 1 million dollars for every single person they have denied, they would end their practice of denial. What they do is illegal! They have put you through HELL and you are trying to do this and living in another state, but do they care? NO THEY DON'T!
To Ladoucec: Now that your parent already has Alzheimer's/Dementia you can no longer obtain a POA. That must be obtained PRIOR to the parent becoming ill. I is set up with the understanding that it only comes into use when that parent is no longer able to care for themselves or makes decisions for themselves. Now your only option is to become their conservator, which is a lot of work and costly. I would say call an attorney and ask for a consultation many offer an hour for free. I would NEVER attempt to do my own Trust or POA, everything must not just be signed but signed in front of a notary.
Also an attorney will not make up a Trust or POA for you AFTER your parent is ill with any mental illness like Alzheimer's or Dementia. It is illegal and unethical and they can be held responsible if a person is trying to rip off another sibling by doing this. FYI
My mother did not see the real need to give me her POA but because I cared for her and handled all her financial matters and healthcare she spoke to the attorney alone, and decided to give it to me prior to her memory becoming a problem. This is a very hard discussion to have with a parent but if you don't do it early enough you will suffer big time with this later on and your parents could lose everything.
As Debralee advises, get an attorney. When my sister was dying, I discussed with her what she wanted, called my attorney, and in a day or two she came to the hospital and all the documents were executed.
She was a notary herself, we brought two acquaintances of my father for witnesses.