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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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However, would there be a way for you to continue caring for your mom at the nursing home that wouldn't jeopardize your marriage and other commitments?
Your profile says Mom has ALZ/Dementia. She may never like it until she no longer knows where she is. But, its the best place she can be. Her needs are going to get greater and u may not be able to deal with it. You r entitled to a life. I am assuming you are around 70. You need to enjoy your husband. You never know what life will bring. Mom has had a life and now needs more care than u can give.
I seem to recall in my marriage vows, something about "forsaking all others, as long as you both shall live..." Clearly this does not mean "leave your parents to the mercy of the world" but she is not out in the world, homeless. She is in a NH. Do NOT destroy your marriage for your mother's happiness.
How long have you been on this website? Spend a day reading some of the MANY stories of people having moved a dementia patient into their homes and see what you are in for if you are at all tempted to move her into your house. It is HORRIBLE. It is stressful and exhausting to the Nth degree and very frequently, the patient outlives the caregiver.
The best you can do for her is visit her at the NH frequently, daily if possible, to ensure she is being well cared for. Believe me, the staff knows who visits regularly.
I have not been on this site as long as some others, but 99% of the posts about Loved Ones in facilities say the resident “hates it”. My own mom included. They say they want to go “home” but in my mother’s case, it was her girlhood home in the 1930’s.
I don’t understand why you would even consider dumping your marriage in favor of your mother. Are there issues there as well?
Your post is very brief and vague. Perhaps if you repost with as many details as you are comfortable providing, we could be of more help.
WhyMe, choose your marriage. Choose your well-being, peace of mind, life, health and home. You don't know what could be triggered by having her in your house and once she is there, it will be close to impossible to move her elsewhere. Do you think your mother is being well cared for? If not, then that is a different story. She probably is unhappy and it is hard to hear that from a parent and not want to fix things for them, but don't do it at the expense of your quality of life. I agree with a post I read before on this site that we first owe our time to our minor-aged children, then secondly we owe it to ourselves and spouse. That puts our elderly parents somewhere around third depending on what else is going on from time to time.
Why would you want to sacrifice your marriage? Would your other family members want you to? You have to ask yourself those questions and make your own choice, but I for one, don't think sacrificing your marriage would be the correct choice.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
However, would there be a way for you to continue caring for your mom at the nursing home that wouldn't jeopardize your marriage and other commitments?
Your profile says Mom has ALZ/Dementia. She may never like it until she no longer knows where she is. But, its the best place she can be. Her needs are going to get greater and u may not be able to deal with it. You r entitled to a life. I am assuming you are around 70. You need to enjoy your husband. You never know what life will bring. Mom has had a life and now needs more care than u can give.
How long have you been on this website? Spend a day reading some of the MANY stories of people having moved a dementia patient into their homes and see what you are in for if you are at all tempted to move her into your house. It is HORRIBLE. It is stressful and exhausting to the Nth degree and very frequently, the patient outlives the caregiver.
The best you can do for her is visit her at the NH frequently, daily if possible, to ensure she is being well cared for. Believe me, the staff knows who visits regularly.
I don’t understand why you would even consider dumping your marriage in favor of your mother. Are there issues there as well?
Your post is very brief and vague. Perhaps if you repost with as many details as you are comfortable providing, we could be of more help.