my dad is 92 years old and we started taking care of him after my mom broke her foot and could no longer care for him, we moved him to our house got a setter on of my daughters we have physical therapy, speech therapy and occupational therapy started. He was in the hospital week ago for heart stent and pneumonia was sent home on 3 l of oxygen. he has started saying he is not hungry or his stomach feels bad and not wanting to eat. I do not know what to do. my daughter had to feed him this morning to get him to eat. he walks with a walker help me please
Have you thought about taking him to see his wife during meal time, wherever she is, and let them eat together? I don't agree with jumping to hospice just yet, as hospice is end-life care and it hasn't been determined his life is over. I think this is more depression, especially if he and his wife were comfortable in their lifestyle before she broke her foot and he had to move out. I may be reading between the lines but it sounds like he had remarried and that he and his second wife have been separated by two families both trying to do the right thing for their parent but inadvertently not considering the long term emotional effects of separating them. If nothing else, see if you can work with the wife's family and get the two of them into a nursing facility together. That way, costs can be split between ALL the siblings for the two to be together and live comparably to how they lived before her foot accident. Or, could the siblings take turns, working out a schedule so that someone is with the two of them in their home at all times? Sort of a commune for the couple? I may be way off here, but I just don't think it's time to write him off, I think it's time for him to visit his wife.
And by all means, I agree, give the man anything he wants to eat. For a solid year, my Mom would only eat Mayfield Neopolitan Ice Cream - that's it. And it couldn't be a different brand or different flavor. She'd never eaten ice cream in her life, hated it, go figure. But it saved her life while her medications were adjusted and since her taste buds had just basically died, something she'd never eaten before suddenly was the only thing she could enjoy.
God Bless you for what you're trying to accomplish! You've done so much already and never doubt that what you've done is from the heart and in your Dad's best interest! Your Dad's health and safety is foremost and you've done a fantastic job so far!
Try the drinks with supplements, like Ensure, Boost. Is he having any trouble with swallowing?
Sometimes after a surgery the digestive system can get confused. Happened to me after a major surgery one time. My doctor prescribed a temporary medication
to get things in sync again, and it worked. You can wait a few days to see if things improve...if not, or if you notice he's losing weight or becomes weak, take him to the doc.
I am a HUGE advocate of hospice. My experience with hospice with my husband was awesome. BUT ... hospice is for end-of-life situations. If his doctors thought he was at that point I don't think they would have subjected him to implanting a stent. When the time comes, please do consider hospice care. Nothing you have written makes it sound like now is the time.
Keep up your good work!
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