My mother has Alzheimer's, in the past 4 months she has been with a 24 hour live in service company that we hired in her home. They mostly sit at the kitchen table on their phones while Mom sits in her chair listening to the radio or watching TV in the living room, she gets very little social interaction. Mom is 95, poor hearing and half blind due to cataracts, she rarely knows me when I visit her even though I am there several times a week. She wanders occasionally and I have witnessed her being combative and delusional. I don't know what to do. I am wondering if she would benefit by being in a memory care facility or should she perhaps be better off in a rest home. Does it sound like she would even benefit from being in memory care or is it too late?
I am hardly ever in favor of lone elderly folks living alone with help coming in. I think that folks need social interaction and many eyes on their care, much in the same way that I think good daycare is far better than a "nanny".
Your mother's failing eyesight is another factor. I would move her while she still has some sight left.
Why the move? Sibs thought it would be cheaper than home care coupled with day care and household upkeep and maintenace. I just plain tired of their vindictiveness and micromanaging and spite. Let them have their way. What they found out was that without additional fees that may be the case. But watchout!
My mom's behaviors were so bad she was sent for a psychiatric evaluation a few times. Then when returning to the facility she was required to bring in an outside, completely separate from facility costs, 24/7 caregiver. This was on and off for her two years of facility living.
When she was kicked out (she was a danger to herself and others) she moved to a care home that was recommended by hospice. And it was cheaper than the entry memory care fee.
When there are behavior symptoms, think long and hard about whether this would be the best for mom. Do not make the cost the most important consideration in this decision.
Finally, two years after mom's passing one sib stated that mom would have been better off at home.
After you've done your initial investigation of facilities and if you think any of them might be a good fit for your mother, then you'll probably want to take her with you to revisit the two or three facilities at the top of your list. And before you make a decision, I recommend visiting the top choices many times on various days of the week and at various times of the day and night to get a really good feel of what actually goes on (that isn't included in the sales pitch from the marketing person).
Those are the steps I went through for my 95-year-old, hard-of-hearing dad before moving him to a memory care facility (after my wife and I moved him from another state into our home where we provided his full-time care for 3.5 years). Looking back, I probably researched and revisited facilities longer than necessary (over a year), but in the end I think the decision to move him to the best memory care facility I could find (within bicycling distance) was good for both him and me. Before I moved him there, he rarely recognized me as his son, but he knew I was someone who cared for him (often I was his dad). That didn't change in memory care, but he did become much more social there and I got a lot more exercise with my daily bike rides and I also got a lot more sleep.
Best wishes for you and your mother.