FIL suffers from dementia, is getting more and more confused, is obsessed with his finances but doesn't remember passwords, even forgets how to operate his computer so he asks their caregiver for help in all things computer and my husband is trying to make them understand that the caregiver has no business 'assisting' him on the computer and should not be privy to financial info. They're very well off and with one click of the mouse, all their money could disappear. But neither will listen. They think we're 'over reacting' and have put their complete trust with this caregiver. Any suggestions?
You're right to be concerned, go with your gut feelings. Don't know what legal rights you have with FIL, these situations can be very tricky. Maybe it's time to see an attorney. I hope you find a solution to this ASAP. Why do these elders trust everybody so much?
There are a lot of caregivers out there who are angels but it only takes one devil to bring an elder to financial ruin.
It may be in your best interests to remove all important documents, jewelry, etc. and put them in a safe deposit box. Remove all records, docs, and passwords from their computer. Make the computer just a place to get email and surf the Web. Identity theft is scarier than taking money from an account.
At the end of the day we can only do what we can do. If parents resist our advice and help...so be it. It is just too stressful to deal with my stuff and their stuff too.
Yes I agree to remove certain items from the home, but I did that and after a while was asked to bring them back.
You shouldn't have to call the agency about their policy on computers, they really cannot control what the care-giver does inside the home, regardless of what they say. I'm interested to see what they say after you speak with them.
It's touchy. The care-giver my mom has seems to have taken over too, but when I'm there I let her know she hasn't taken over ME, and when I'm there I'M IN CHARGE OF MY MOM.
Please keep us posted and good luck.
Pamela, I also took things from mom's house for safekeeping, like documents with personal info, etc. and I told her I was taking them and why. Next thing I knew, I got a letter from her lawyer telling me I stole them and I'd better give them back or he was getting a judgement against me. I'd had her house deed for 11 yrs in the filing cabinet in my home office and then all of a sudden she tells a lawyer I stole it. What a loving mom I have . . . NOT!
Oh, cabanagirl, don't feel bad for saying you're sick of them. I've said that about mom, I had the right and I don't feel bad about it for one minute. The truth is the truth.