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I named my only niece and nephew as poa using the same law firm as I hired to probate my mother's estate. I can't even remember how the law firm handled that. I just put all the legal papers away at the time as I had to relocate twice after my own mother died. We lived together and I was her caregiver. I had to sell the house to pay her debts in the probate process. I just txtd my nephew the other day about something and told him I would not be angry if he did not want to be poa. To tell you the truth until then it never occurred to me as I was so preoccupied with getting myself resettled to check and see if either still wanted to be. I just assumed they would tell me outright if they ever changed their minds. I for one as an out of state Aunt will not hold it against them if they don't. I thought it so kind how they supported me when their Grandmother died. I hope they both feel safe enough to be honest with me regarding poa. Now I must go search for legal papers to see about the poa. But do not be afraid to inform your Aunt. Better to tell her now than when she may really need you to carry out any poa duties. You have to do the right thing for you. Better she be informed now.
Yes! You do not have to accept this responsibility. Tell your aunt and the rest of the family. If nobody can assume this responsibility and she is not mentally competent, ask the courts to appoint a guardian as litem to assume responsibility for making decisions for her.
I recently had my POA done at a lawyer’s office where my POA had to be signed by myself and my daughter whom I gave POA to, and it was notarized by a Notary Public. The Notary Public and another person were also present who signed as witnesses. If a POA isn’t notarized and have two witnesses’ signatures then it is not legally valid or enforceable.
Most are signed and notarized along with a will. They are typically done when you do your will or your trust and are thusly signed but NOT by the POA, only by the principle. IN the case of creating a now active one, and you go together with the principle, you would sign accepting. But you need NOT sign if you are POA designated in most states. You would have to fly through legal hoops when you are preparing to use it, for banks and etc. But you need only be listed as POA. My daughter had not to sign the one designating her as my POA nor did my spouse, but I did and it WAS notarized. That said, the one designated as POA does NOT HAVE TO ACCEPT. The problem comes when he or she DOES accept and then tries to resign. That isn't as easily done if the principle has become demented and at risk. Abandonment issues come to the fore then, so the state or another relative needs notification and a way to protect the person you will no longer act for. It's all quite complicated. Our OP should see an attorney in his or her own state.
IMO, if she did not agree to being a POA should have no problem revoking it.
POA is a big responsibility especially when there is a large estate. The person should have to sign excepting the responsibility same with an Executor. I was very aware I was going to be POA. I was present when I was assigned for Mom and my nephew but neither lawyer had me sign. POAs can be misused. I feel they need to be drawn up by a lawyer and explained to both parties what the responsibility means. So many people have no idea.
Supposedly you had to sign that document to agree to be a power of attorney. Is there someone to success you on the document? Yeah you can do with an elder law attorney. If there’s no successor then you might have a Little problem depending on her mental capacity. Talk to an elder law attorney
You stated, “I wasn’t asked to be power of attorney”. If you were not asked to be power of attorney then how did you become power of attorney? In my experience of making my daughter my POA, we both went to the lawyer and my daughter had to sign the contract to accept this role. Did you sign the POA document? In order to become POA you must sign the document. If you did not sign the POA document then you are not truly a POA. I’m just confused about what you said.
Not true. The POA often does not have to sign anything or even be informed. You did it the RIGHT way, the BEST way. But truth told some people do the POA documents pulled right off a computer, or as a part of making out their will or Trust papers, never informing the POA at all. Or just telling them "Hey, I made you POA for me in case anything happens". That said, no one has to serve as POA. Problem occurs if they START serving. That makes them liable and they need to resign. Which is uncomplicated with a competent principle (a simple letter and notification to entities with whom you are registered as POA)--and which is COMPLICATED with a mentally incompetent principle (court action/attorney notification.
Tiredniece23: Send a letter to the principal, assuming she is of lucid mind resigning and removing yourself as their agent (Power of Attorney). The principal will then have to find another Power of Attorney.
I've had this same desire for years now! I am POA for my biological father and his wife, and they both have dementia at this point. I didn't know them most of my life. I can't imagine doing it for an aunt in another state. You are quite kind, but enough is likely enough now.May I suggest a third option to those offered below? I used a woman named Star Bradbury in Florida who is a generic Elder Care Consultant (Google her!) She's cheaper and more compassionate than the elder law attorneys I've had to use for now five of my elderly family members who needed various levels of care. She is knowledgeable about the whole thing, including the psychological parts. She even wrote a book related to this topic. Her literary agent is my friend. She's been an angel for me.
Not true. The person assigned as POA doesn't have to sign the document. Maybe in some states, but certainly not in mine (California).
No one should be assigned POA without their knowledge and consent, but their signature is not a requirement. My kids are our POAs, and they don't live in the same state and have never even seen the documents. They do know they were given POA, though.
Thank you so much for your post. Sometimes I wish I had not taken on this responsibility. It can be all consuming. I have been managing my mother's affairs for years, however as she grew older, I knew a POA would become necessary. It's interesting that you were assigned POA without your knowledge/consent. I thought it required a designee to agree/sign the document in front of an attorney. However, I do understand the tremendous responsibility, especially when qualifying for state assistance programs like Medicaid. It is also emotionally taxing protecting their assets, responding to everyone's questions, record keeping, etc. You are basically the go to person for the loved one and if you are in another state, this must be particularly hard. Resigning from POA is a common question on the forum and under Care Topics of the agingcare website, there is an article on this topic. This is an excerpt below and there are other articles that may be helpful under the Care Topics. I don't necessarily agree about the need to have an attorney draft the letter. It's not that complicated and if you enter "How to Resign from POA" in your computer's search engine you can find some examples. However, notarization is important as there is a witness. What I would say is if your aunt has an attorney then it is best to loop them in because if your aunt is mentally incapacitated then you have someone who does represent her aware of the situation and it is on file. Good luck to you. I will keep your family in prayer.
"To resign, an agent must compose a formal letter notifying the principal, any co-agents and all parties with which the original POA has been filed, such as banks, elder care providers, etc. While each state has different rules for relinquishing POA, taking formal steps to notify all involved parties offers the most protection from any legal issues. It’s best to sign the resignation letter before a notary and then send copies of it via certified mail with return receipt requested. In this letter, you’ll want to include your full name, the principal’s full name, the date that the original POA document was signed and the date you will terminate your position as an agent. An attorney can help you draft this document easily and at minimal expense if you need help."
Thank you for your response. I've had days where I too have wanted to RESIGN as DPOA, but I take a day or two to "breathe" and put myself first. That's a "big" mistake many POAs make. You have given Tiredniece23 the most important of all advice .... Get back to the lawyer who drew up the POA or like I did, get an Elder Care Lawyer to help with some of the State and Federal paperwork.
Also, she should check, there may have been an individual who was designated as a backup should the primary be incapacitated for any reason. My documentation did, because I was going to have surgery and might not be able to take care of duties during that time. Again, the lawyer who drew up the POA would know this,.
Yes. It is an immense responsibility.If possible, call the attorney who drew it up and let him/her handle it.
At the very least ASAP, send a certified letter (receipt return indicating delivery/acceptance of letter) to this person [and their attorney] specifying that you were not asked to be the POA, that you did not agree to this role / responsibility, and you are not their POA as of (date).
It is perplexing as to why a person would designate another without their consent. And, how an attorney, if one drew up this document, did so without conferring / discussing with you.Gena / Touch Matters
She will have to revoke your POA and place that on file with a lawyer . She should have asked you it is a great responsibility and only someone who lives close by should do that job and usually they are healthcare proxy so it sounds like she was setting you up to be Caregiver - does she have any children or siblings ? Your doing the right thing by removing yourself .
This is why I think the person being assigned should be present and sign they are willing to except the responsibility. I was present but not asked to sign.
You call the lawyer who drew up the POA and tell him you were not consulted and you are refusing the assignment.
The easiest way is, as soon as you become aware someone has assigned you this duty, write them a letter saying you will not be able to serve in this fiduciary capacity, and they should appoint someone else.
At the point that you actually accept this duty--and DOING it is ACCEPTING it--this becomes more problematic.
If the person is currently not incapacitated by dementia it is a simple matter of sending a letter resigning and removing yourself and notifying any entities you signed up as POA on (banks, insurance companies, bills and etc) that you are no longer the POA. Make certain that you tell the principle that you will turn over any records to their newly appointed POA.
If the person is currently incapacitated mentally, then you need to take further measures that are a good deal more complicated, and you should see an elder law attorney. You will need not only to resign but the attorney and the courts will need to see that family or a court appointed fiduciary for the state will take over, be appointed.
Just curious, what are you currently 'doing' as PoA for your aunt? I agree, it's hard to hold that thankless job when you aren't close to the person.
If auntie is capable of making decisions, talk to her and explain why you don't feel comfortable carrying this 'job'. If she's not, talk to a relative or even her attorney to get started on resigning this job.
Hi. Thanks. The POA document only states that I am only to make decisions when she becomes incapacitated. I have been told that the duties can become more, the longer she's alive. I have spoken to her and told her that I don't live close by, and I don't want the added responsibility, but she just says ok, and hasn't done anything about appointing someone else. I don't handle her money or bank accounts.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
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APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
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If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
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This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
You have to do the right thing for you. Better she be informed now.
That said, the one designated as POA does NOT HAVE TO ACCEPT.
The problem comes when he or she DOES accept and then tries to resign. That isn't as easily done if the principle has become demented and at risk. Abandonment issues come to the fore then, so the state or another relative needs notification and a way to protect the person you will no longer act for.
It's all quite complicated. Our OP should see an attorney in his or her own state.
POA is a big responsibility especially when there is a large estate. The person should have to sign excepting the responsibility same with an Executor. I was very aware I was going to be POA. I was present when I was assigned for Mom and my nephew but neither lawyer had me sign. POAs can be misused. I feel they need to be drawn up by a lawyer and explained to both parties what the responsibility means. So many people have no idea.
That said, no one has to serve as POA.
Problem occurs if they START serving. That makes them liable and they need to resign. Which is uncomplicated with a competent principle (a simple letter and notification to entities with whom you are registered as POA)--and which is COMPLICATED with a mentally incompetent principle (court action/attorney notification.
No one should be assigned POA without their knowledge and consent, but their signature is not a requirement. My kids are our POAs, and they don't live in the same state and have never even seen the documents. They do know they were given POA, though.
"To resign, an agent must compose a formal letter notifying the principal, any co-agents and all parties with which the original POA has been filed, such as banks, elder care providers, etc. While each state has different rules for relinquishing POA, taking formal steps to notify all involved parties offers the most protection from any legal issues. It’s best to sign the resignation letter before a notary and then send copies of it via certified mail with return receipt requested. In this letter, you’ll want to include your full name, the principal’s full name, the date that the original POA document was signed and the date you will terminate your position as an agent. An attorney can help you draft this document easily and at minimal expense if you need help."
Also, she should check, there may have been an individual who was designated as a backup should the primary be incapacitated for any reason. My documentation did, because I was going to have surgery and might not be able to take care of duties during that time. Again, the lawyer who drew up the POA would know this,.
At the very least ASAP, send a certified letter (receipt return indicating delivery/acceptance of letter) to this person [and their attorney] specifying that you were not asked to be the POA, that you did not agree to this role / responsibility, and you are not their POA as of (date).
It is perplexing as to why a person would designate another without their consent. And, how an attorney, if one drew up this document, did so without conferring / discussing with you.Gena / Touch Matters
You call the lawyer who drew up the POA and tell him you were not consulted and you are refusing the assignment.
At the point that you actually accept this duty--and DOING it is ACCEPTING it--this becomes more problematic.
If the person is currently not incapacitated by dementia it is a simple matter of sending a letter resigning and removing yourself and notifying any entities you signed up as POA on (banks, insurance companies, bills and etc) that you are no longer the POA. Make certain that you tell the principle that you will turn over any records to their newly appointed POA.
If the person is currently incapacitated mentally, then you need to take further measures that are a good deal more complicated, and you should see an elder law attorney. You will need not only to resign but the attorney and the courts will need to see that family or a court appointed fiduciary for the state will take over, be appointed.
Just curious, what are you currently 'doing' as PoA for your aunt? I agree, it's hard to hold that thankless job when you aren't close to the person.
If auntie is capable of making decisions, talk to her and explain why you don't feel comfortable carrying this 'job'. If she's not, talk to a relative or even her attorney to get started on resigning this job.
Good Luck.
I have spoken to her and told her that I don't live close by, and I don't want the added responsibility, but she just says ok, and hasn't done anything about appointing someone else. I don't handle her money or bank accounts.