Moved in with parents and took care of them for years (total 14+). Mother died first 9/07and father 7/2014. Brother who is excutor of the will immediatley threated me to find a new place to live and get out. My brother did nothing for my parents for years even after he ritired. I did just about everything for them along with working a full-time job. He is the one who set-up everything with an attorney and made himself POA, Medical POA and excutor. My father was not aware what the ramifications were. Once my dad was admitted in the hospital in April my brother made my life a living hell. My Dad went to rehab after less than week and my brother was there everyday guarding him so that I could not get my Dad to change the POA. It even appeared that he was giving him xanax which was making him lathargic. He got a doctor there to deem him incapaciated. The last couple weeks my Dad was in rehab my brother did now show up as much and my dad was his old self alert and talktive. Once my Dad was released my brother put him in an indendent living facility where my Dad was left alone for hours at a time and had them give him xanax (this I know for sure was happening). Within a week he fell out bed and then was hospitalized, drugged and died (because my brother had him put into a hopice ward where they gave him constant morphine until he passed). This was so devastating to me. I starting looking for a home immediately even though I was grieving and suffering for extreme exhaustion. It took me 3 months to get a home (one that I was not particularly fond of) but feared being put out on the streets. Sellers moved out December 31 and my brother is giving me one month to move out. House needs some work and I am lining people up to come in and get it done. I asked him to give me to February 15th but he sent me an eviction notice anyway. I pay all the utilities, maintenence and also have paid for some repairs. Does anyone know if he can force me out before Feb. 15th? For the last year of my Dad's life my sister came over 5 days a week for 6 hours a day and was paid $1500 a month. I was never given any money and I also took 4 leaves of absence from work over the 14 years to care for my parents, numerous vacation days and personal days. I have not been able to take a trip (vacation) for many years because I had to be there for my parents. Do I have any rights if I am unable to get out by the 31st?
If you have any recourse at all, a lawyer may be able to help you. I don't know what grounds you'd have but that's why you'd see a lawyer.
Why did you make all those sacrifices all those years, without some kind of agreement about compensation? Why did your sister get paid and you didn't? I know that there is nothing you can do about this now, but I bring these points up for other caregivers who are making all the sacrificing and not protecting themselves regarding some compensation.
Your new house needs some work? Get the absolutely necessary things done first, so you can camp out there if you have to move yet this month.
I am so very, very sorry that this is the way it is working out for you.
I think you might have got yourself in a bit of a state, emotionally. The reason I say this is that there is this entire whirlwind going on, you've been bereaved, you're exhausted, you're at daggers drawn with your brother whom you suspect of goodness knows what… and you're boiling all these years of history down to a fortnight's extension on a moving out deadline?
It doesn't make sense.
What would make sense is that you are right at the very end of your rope and are in need of some serious support.
Are you still working? How do you get on with your sister? And why, exactly, would you not be able to move out by the end of the month? You don't mention money's being a problem in itself: could you not put your belongings into storage if you're not ready to move into your new place, and stay with your sister, or in a motel, or something? It's for two weeks.
I just don't believe the eviction is really the problem. I think it might be the last straw, rather. Is there anybody around who can hold your hand? This is all too much for one person on her own.
What I am wondering is if the Will says the house is to be sold and the earnings divided equally between yourself, your sister and your brother, then aren't you basically contesting the Will?
I don't know what the Will says. I would be helpful to know exactly what it says!
It would be nice if the brother and her sister would each give her their third of the house or offer her the option of buying the brother's and the sister's third over several years. Of the brother's past behavior is any indication of his future outlook, then it is going to take a very skilled mediator or a very strong lawyer to make him come around. I don't know about your sister. She evidently accepted the money your dad gave her without any feeling of how unfair that was being to you who had not been given any money while you had been doing far more work. That sounds very selfish to me.
Go ahead and try, but is looks extremely tough to me from the outside. The mediator or the lawyer will be the one who takes on the burden of this whole challenge. How much do mediators and or lawyers cost to do this work?
Begale do you have the money and cash flow to be able to buy the other two thirds of the value of the house?
Sorry to sound so cynical, but I tend to believe how people have behaved in the past is a good indicator of how they will behave in the future unless they are open to a very good reason for changing. Beagle, you are a very good hearted person and your good heartedness has been taken advantage of by your siblings. That maybe be good grounds for trying mediation or a legal course through a lawyer.
I don't know, but I'm just trying to look at this from all angles.
What does the Will say about the house?
How do you or can you even mediate a Will without necessarily contesting it?
This almost sounds like trying to present a bill to the estate for time given that really needed to have had some kind of written and signed agreement for payment each month for specific caergiving services paid. Sadly, it is far too late for that and this basic question about presenting a bill for an estate for services previously given. It is not fair. Nor is it right, but it appears to be the legal weight of a Will.
I clearly have no idea, but I just raise these questions.
That is quite different that my dad and step-mother's will which after naming several items are for me, my step-sister or my step-brother, the will states that the remaining assets will be divided equally among us three. The will also states that my third gets divided between me and my two sons.
A lot depends upon what a will actually says, not what we would like for it to say.
See All Answers