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My father wants to add my sibling as an additional POA. He wants to avoid telling my brother who is the POA. Can he just add my sister without notifying him?

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he should probably ask a lawyer about this. There can be some nuance depending how he wants it set up . Is the goal to have a main POA and then a backup POA in case the first cannot serve?
or is the goal to be that they are "co-POAs"? for mine, myself and sibling are listed as "Co-POAs acting together". The way the details are worded, it means that for major decisions, myself and my brother have to agree, and have to co-sign the document". so by definition, we have to each know that we are both co-POAs and cooperate. !
Also, in our case we had to sign as accepting POA in front of the notary and we each saw the whole document.
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Reply to strugglinson
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Jazzy24 Aug 22, 2024
my father wants to add my sibling as the co-poa and co executor and then tell our father. He knows my brother wont agree. Our brother wants to put him in assisted living and has states several times that he has the power to do so. our father is no where near needing to be in assisted living. my sibling and i live close by and can care for both of our parents and have agreed to move in if needed. Our brother is controlling and doesnt want us to move in. in order to not upset our father with the un needed drama if our brother knew before he made her co poa.
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You don't "add a POA"; this would cause an all out war over guardianship in all likelihood. You withdraw POA from the son and create a new POA with daughter named.
The current POA MUST be told.
He cannot continue to act as POA when someone else has been appointed.
He will be required to turn over all records he has kept as POA.

It is crucial that the father tells his son that he is removing him as POA and gives him written notification, and that the father request that his name be removed from accounts and bills and etc so that sister, the new POA can be put on.

If help is required, if abuse is suspected, the APS should be drawn in to mediate this with all involved. This is all done in an attorney's office. This isn't done with some online form. Take care that this is correctly done; see an attorney.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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strugglinson Aug 22, 2024
as often is the case, a great answer from Alva!
and as she outlines - these scenarios as you already know can get ugly real fast, and that is where a good attorney with expertise is key to have to mediate things....
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More info from a reply you gave below:

"my father wants to add my sibling as the co-poa and co executor and then tell our father. He knows my brother wont agree. Our brother wants to put him in assisted living and has states several times that he has the power to do so. our father is no where near needing to be in assisted living. my sibling and i live close by and can care for both of our parents and have agreed to move in if needed. Our brother is controlling and doesnt want us to move in. in order to not upset our father with the un needed drama if our brother knew before he made her co poa."

Your Father should do what he wants. FYI a PoA cannot legally put someone in a facility if that person has all their mind.
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Reply to Geaton777
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If your father feels that the POA is not acting in his best interests or according to his wishes he needs to remove him as POA & assign a new one. Best to get an elder lawyer for this
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Reply to Jada824
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so - if this is correct - your father and you and other sibling disagree with your brother?. I'll assume your father is competent to make decisions still. So, why torture your poor sister with adding her as co-POA with your brother, so now she needs to argue and achieve agreement with him on each and every thing? That sounds like a disaster to just add her on along with him.

As others are suggesting, if your father truly disagrees with your brother's approach, he should be dropping him off and have a completely different POA then.
If I am summarizing things correctly....
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Reply to strugglinson
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I believe the reason for the second POA is put in place only if first POA is unable to do it. Unless the box is checked for them to work together. Which I think is an impossible task for them to totally agree.
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Reply to Wally7902
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Jazzy24, welcome to the forum, and when you get a chance please fill out the Profile page as that will give us more information so we can better understand the situation. Such as what health issues does your Dad have? Is he unable to live on his own? Does Dad have a caregiver? Is Dad in his 50's or in his 80's?



Please note, your brother could try to place your Dad into Assisted Living but it's not that easy. Your Dad would need to "qualify" as to needing help with various every day routines, such as dressing, bathing, etc. If Dad doesn't need help with any of those things, then the senior living facility wouldn't not accept him. Dad could move into "Independent Living" part of a senior facility. My Dad did (he was in his 90's).
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Reply to freqflyer
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His lawyer may mention that it is customary to notify the potential person who will either accept or not. I for one would not want to be blindsided
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Reply to MACinCT
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